This is not me procrastinating, honest. I was just doing more research for the next post and realised there are some rather cool female Disney characters that don’t get shouted about all that often. And when I say “characters”, I actually mean it, as these ladies are more than just damsels in distress, if they are at all.

Apologies for the header image; apart from semi-pornographic/furry ones, the only other Disney female montages I could find were of all the classic princesses, who in my opinion are the antithesis of the following:

#5:

Mulan

From: Mulan

For all her clumsiness with makeup and dresses, Mulan is utterly fearless in the face of war, even though she doesn’t realise it. The risk of death at the hands of the enemy is clearly not enough – there’s also the risk of her being discovered as a woman. You’d think she’d be in a constant state of terror, but she only really breaks down when abandoned in the middle of the mountains after she has been found out. (Mind you, being stranded with a dragon voiced by Eddie Murphy would test anyone’s resolve.) Not for long though, as it’s soon off to save the emperor, no questions asked, and then back to her family to carry on as normal. This girl is the epitome of an inadvertent badass.

#4:

Megara (Meg)

From: Hercules

Despite being in danger an awful lot, Meg seems either non-plussed or vaguely irritated rather than a hysterical mess.  This could be because her soul is the property of Hades, and so technically she may not be able to die, but then again she has no qualms about teasing or back-talking said Lord of the Underworld. Due to ex-boyfriend issues she is a bit of a cynic, but this makes her more interesting and relatable, especially as she doesn’t let this jade her perception of love and friendship (in the end anyway), and would still risk her soul to save the one she loves. Ahh.

#3:

Nala

From: The Lion King

Nala is a nod to tomboys everywhere. She can hold her own in a fight, and is not the least bit squeamish, even when it comes to exploring a graveyard (an elephant’s in her case). As an adult, she has a strong sense of right and wrong, and makes no odds about having to leave behind her family to seek help, and then returning to Pride Rock to storm it with vastly outnumbered help. It’s also her rather than Simba that takes the initiative in continuing the circle of life, in perhaps the raunchiest scene Disney could get away with in a children’s film.

#2:

Princess Jasmine

From: Aladdin

It may be because she only has a tiger for a friend, but Princess Jasmine is fiery and determined and will not take crap from anyone – especially the arrogant suitors strutting through the palace gates or the creepy royal advisor, Jafar. She is arguably selfish though, in that she doesn’t really consider her family when trying to get what she wants. She is also relatively ruthless, running away from the palace despite being completely unprepared, and as a slave, throwing wine into the face of the most powerful sorceror in the world when he asks for her hand in marriage. Even when she has nothing left she will still try to fight for what she feels is right, and this would make her a very interesting monarch. Plus she has a pet tiger. Did I mention that?

#1:

Kala

From: Tarzan

Most mother figures in Disney films are either victims, absolutely perfect, or dead. Kala is none of these. She wrestles with the same leopard who killed her own baby in order to rescue Tarzan, and spends the rest of the film justifying his place in the troop to the leader, Kerchak, and even to Tarzan himself when he asks why he is different. However, she is still flawed in that she doesn’t tell Tarzan what he is or where he comes from until she is absolutely forced to, and this is equally because she wants to believe he is the same as everyone else, and because if she admits he is a human, he will want to leave with his own kind and she will lose another son. You can’t exactly blame her after her track record with offspring, but this inkling of selfishness makes Kala much more realistic and believable in my opinion. Kudos to Glenn Close for doing an awesome job with her voice acting too.

So there you have it, my favourite female Disney character is so far removed from the traditional princess that she isn’t even human.

Set in the early 20th Century, Disney’s Tarzan is the story of a man who is raised by apes in the wilds of Africa and  discovered by his own kind years later. Cue the “nature versus nurture” argument, identity crises on both sides, and lots of partial nudity.

One of the most popular and famous literary characters of all time was created out of sheer boredom, and possibly even for satirical purposes. Stuck in a thrilling job advertising pencil sharpeners in trashy magazines, the then unknown American author, Edgar Rice Burroughs, decided he could do a better job of writing than they did. And so Tarzan  was born, and subsequently pimped out to as many types of media as possible – with Burroughs’ blessing. This was considered a terrible move at the time, as it was feared the different types of media would be competing with one another, but the explosion of Tarzan comics, books, films and television series proved otherwise.

The Disney version appears to be based on the very first story of Tarzan of the Apes, which was written in 1912. At least, this is what I can gather from the altogether unhelpful “From Burroughs to Disney” documentary on the Special Edition DVD. Aside from Burroughs’ grandson saying his grandfather wrote the book and isn’t that great, the rest is just self-congratulatory clips of the production team talking about how awesome the film is. To be fair, if they took the time to list all of the cringe-inducingly offensive and hilariously outdated references to blacks, native Africans and women they had to take out, it would be longer than the entire Tarzan back catalogue.

So aside from the necessary cultural updates then, is the Disney version true to the original, or does it leave it swinging in the wind?

Main Characters

Disney version

Little known fact: Tarzan was a pioneer of invisible skateboarding.
Tubular!

Our remarkably clean-shaven protagonist is fearless, curious, and good at mimicking sounds, albeit human speech, animal noises or gun shots. Tarzan spends most of his life trying to win the approval of his chief, Kerchak, and is acutely aware that he is different to the other gorillas in the troop. Despite this, he seems very at home in the jungle and initially doesn’t explore the reasons why he may be different.

English rose Jane Porter is a brave but mildly eccentric explorer and animal lover. Her interest in gorillas brings her to Tarzan’s neck of the woods, and she is relatively open-minded when it comes to the ape language and being slung unceremoniously through the trees, whichever is necessary. She is accompanied by her father, the doddery Professor Porter.

Kala is Tarzan’s adoptive mother, and you’ll spot her because she’s the least gormless-looking gorilla in the troop. She gives Tarzan as much love and attention as she would the real baby that she lost, and embodies the film’s moral message – deep down everyone is the same and should be treated as such. She therefore fights her son’s corner when needed, even defying the leader of the troop, but is mildly afraid of his choice of date.

Kerchak is the short-tempered but wise leader of the gorillas. Despite flying into a chest-beating rage at the drop of a hat, he recovers himself quickly and does have good intentions at heart. However, he remains distinctly unimpressed by Tarzan and his actions, judging him an outsider and a threat to the family on more than one occasion.

With the posh British accent and leech-like moustache, Clayton (voiced by Brian Blessed) has “obvious villain” written all over him. He is assigned as an escort to Jane and her father, but shockingly has an ulterior motive, possibly related to the propensity to fire his gun at every  given opportunity.

Any action scenes/deaths not instigated by the trigger-happy Clayton are caused by this friendly-looking leopard. Known as Sabor, his internal monologue mostly consists of “RARR RARR I AM HUNGRY RARR RARR FOOD RARR RARR WHY ARE YOU GETTING IN THE WAY OF MY HUNGRY RARR RARR I DON’T CARE IF YOU HAVE A SPEAR I HAVE A HUNGRY RARR RARR”. Tarzan isn’t the only one with an identity crisis either, as Sabor’s markings are suspiciously close to a jaguar’s.

Finally, we have Tarzan’s (mostly pointless) animal sidekicks, Tantor the elephant, and Tarzan’s “cousin” Terk, the unexpectedly female gorilla, who on a good day sounds like a parrot being murdered. They fill the parts of neurotic scaredy-cat and annoying smart aleck respectively.

Burroughs Version

Instead of mimicking noises, this Tarzan likes brawling with the local predators and hanging people from branches before taking a break to read Baby’s First Alphabet. Hardly the behaviour befitting the son of Lord Greystoke, otherwise known as John Clayton, but as he begins to learn of his human heritage, the young aristocrat changes his behaviour, deciding to wear a loin cloth rather than swinging through the trees “tackle out”, and shaving off his facial hair. He prefers one-up-man-ship over the apes rather than their approval, and once Jane Porter arrives on the scene, he does his utmost to become a real gentleman.

A rare image of Jane wearing more than Tarzan.

Jane is the beautiful and quietly brave daughter of a professor from Baltimore. She and her black servant, Esmeralda, share a passion for fainting whenever danger rears its ugly head, although she does manage to mitigate this after meeting Tarzan. Despite having feelings for another man in her entourage, Jane is enthralled by the ape man, and so her head and her heart are constantly waging war.

Jane’s other admirer is the current Lord Greystoke, and Tarzan’s cousin, William Cecil Clayton. He has followed Jane on her journey like a faithful hound and is the epitome of the 19th Century gentleman, but becomes a green-eyed monster when faced with a muscular stallion of ape man.

Professor Q. Porter, Jane’s doo-lally father, is quite possibly the most irritating character ever committed to text, prefacing every sentence with “Tut tut, [insert name here], tut tut.” He has a habit of wandering off and falling for money scams, with only his long-suffering companion, Mr. Philander, available to tug on the reins occasionally.

Lieutenant D’Arnot is a French officer who is investigating the shipwreck and mutiny of Jane’s ship. He and Tarzan become “bros” as they embark on a jungle road trip together, and he demonstrates admirable bravery and patience, keeping his trousers dry despite being captured and tortured by cannibals, and teaching Tarzan the language of men in perhaps the most complicated way possible.

Said cannibals constitute the main antagonists of the story. A tribe of native blacks driven from the Congo by cruel white taskmasters, they have an impressive collection of cooking pots and war paint, and maintain impeccable political incorrectness throughout the tale.

Finally, we have the animals.

Surprisingly, the apes in the original are not gorillas – it is implied they are somewhere between gorillas and chimpanzees, and more intelligent. Kerchak is the head of the troop, but his tantrums are murderous rather than merely chest-beating, and Kala is part of his group but not his mate. She is just as caring toward Tarzan as she is in the Disney version, and she needs to be, because all of the other apes, without exception, want Tarzan beaten up or killed. Terkoz, Tarzan’s step brother, is one of them, and at one point tries to carry Jane off for a bit of inter-species bonding. So he and Terk share half a name as well as the disdain of people everywhere.

Sabor is a lioness rather than a leopard, and Tantor the elephant is never seen, only inferred – he is said to be the one thing that Kerchak fears, so a far cry from the quivering coward in the Disney version.

Aside from making Tarzan of aristocratic lineage, Burroughs’ version is more heavily focused on the human characters, and except for Kala, all of the animals are depicted as savage beasts. There is also a competition for the hand of the fair Jane. By contrast, Disney focuses more on the animals and makes them more sympathetic, with the exception of Sabor. The human cast, hailing from England instead, is drastically cut down, and for some reason the name Clayton is used for the antagonist. As with The Jungle Book, Disney have (unsurprisingly) thrown out any references to colonialism and slavery.

So, how did Tarzan come to sit on the fence between humans and animals?

The Set Up

Disney version 

“My moustache says we should go that way.”

As Phil Collins sings a brave and jolly tune, we are introduced to Tarzan’s parents, who are leaping to safety from an exploding ship with their baby in their arms. They end up marooned on the shores of a then undiscovered part of Africa, and make the best of a bad situation by building a cliff top tree house that would make most ten year-olds foam at the mouth, and playing with their baby son as they gather food and provisions.

Meanwhile, in the depths of the jungle, Kala and Kerchak are basking in the glow of their new baby, and both parents seem to be settling into their new situation. However, Sabor soon puts paid to any idea of familial bliss, snatching the young gorilla away one moment, and then popping in to Tarzan’s shack for a quick massacre later. Fortunately, Tarzan has somehow been overlooked, and his cries are heard by the passing gorilla troop. The grieving Kala reacts immediately and goes to the source, avoiding the discarded parents and finding the infant bawling under a blanket, so already Tarzan has survived a leopard attack, suffocation, and demonstrated incredible voice amplification.

Gorilla and baby form a close bond moments before Sabor launches another attack. Thanks to safety netting and an extremely durable nappy, Tarzan doesn’t plunge to his death, and Kala whisks him away, leaving the predator tangled in the tree.

“You’ve got to let her keep him, Kerchak. I mean I’m twice as annoying and you haven’t fed me to a leopard…yet.”

On returning to the troop, Kala is greeted with tolerant interest from the other gorilla mothers, and a roar in the face from Kerchak, who although relieved at her safe return, will not allow her to keep her prize as it is clearly dangerous and an outsider. When Kala points out that she practically wrestled a leopard to save him and that there are no others, Kerchak relents, but stresses that this does not make the boy his son and cannot replace the one they lost. Kala names her new child “Tarzan”, and by all accounts the other gorillas treat him as they would any other baby.

Burroughs version

John Clayton, a.k.a. Lord Greystoke, has dragged his pregnant wife Alice to the Congo to investigate the illegal recruitment of natives, only for their ship’s crew to mutiny and leave them marooned on the terrifying shores of darkest Africa. Left with only a revolver, some books and basic supplies, Greystoke protects his wife and budding family by aiming pot shots into the jungle and building them a raised cabin on the beach. Unfortunately, this is not enough to protect them from the hulking huge ape that soon comes a-knocking; Alice is able to kill it with the revolver, but due to her feeble woman’s brain she then faints and goes mad at the horror of it all. She remains a few sandwiches short of a picnic thereafter, but manages to give birth to their son a few months later.

Meanwhile, in the jungle, Kerchak is having one of his homicidal strops,  and unfortunately Kala and her new baby are in his firing line. As she leaps to escape his fangs, she loses her grip on the child and it plummets to its death.

In the interim, Alice has inconveniently died, leaving Greystoke alone to care for his baby son. Just as he is wondering what to do about his lack of breasts, his door is kicked in by Kerchak, who thunders in and kills him. As he goes for the baby boy, Kala deftly swaps him for her own infant. Despite the protests of everyone – Kala’s grumpy mate Tublat in particular – Kerchak allows her to keep her new son because otherwise she will leave the troop, and being a strong young female of breeding age she is handy to have around.

Kala names her new son “Tarzan”, meaning “pale skin”, and has just as much of a job protecting him from her spiteful cohorts as Greystoke did.

Burroughs’ version explains more about Tarzan’s parents and how they came to be in this situation. The shores of Africa are a terrifying and dangerous place for them, and the fact that Tarzan survives his parents’ deaths is no guarantee he will live any longer, even under the protection of Kala. Kerchak is also indirectly responsible for the death of Kala’s baby, and utterly responsible for the death of Tarzan’s father. By contrast, Disney’s version sees the shores of Africa as a dangerous but beautiful place that can be lived with, and the parents and baby gorilla are killed by the excessively savage Sabor rather than the gentle apes, giving both sides a common link. This also reiterates the message of the opening song, “two worlds, one family”.

Tarzan is therefore destined to grow up among the denizens of the jungle, so how does he get on in his new surroundings?

Animal Antics

Disney version

Scaring his mother with elephant impressions (not that kind) can only entertain the young Tarzan for so long. However, the other gorilla children aren’t as eager to play with him, and Terk tries to dissuade him by saying he can only tag along if he can get an elephant’s hair. This results in Tarzan diving into a lagoon and yanking a hair from an elephant’s tail, causing a stampede that almost crushes one of the new babies in his troop. Although he inevitably suffers Kerchak’s anger, Tarzan impresses Terk and baby elephant Tantor enough for them to tolerate his presence, and they become firm friends, growing up together.

A young Disney protagonist, creeping up behind a chameleon. Nothing bad ever happens after that.

Unfortunately, Kerchak was the one that Tarzan really wanted to impress, so he takes it upon himself to become “the best ape ever” and win his approval. He does this by acting like every other animal except an ape, of course. By watching a rhino sharpen its horn, monkeys jumping across vines and a hippo swimming, he learns to use a spear, swing through the trees and swim underwater in another trademark Disney montage.

It’s not all fun and games, however, because yet again Sabor has arrived to spoil the party. Now a fully grown adult, Tarzan is able to intervene when the leopard attacks his family, even coming to the rescue of the mighty Kerchak. With the help of the aforementioned spear, he kills the leopard and then holds him aloft before letting loose his trademark bellow. Even Kerchak looks impressed as the human lays his prey at his feet, but any recognition has to wait for later – a gunshot suddenly shatters the air, and the troop must head deep into the jungle to safety.

Tarzan Kill Count: 1 Leopard

Burroughs version

Burroughs’ Tarzan spends more time surviving than enjoying his encounters with the friendly neighbourhood animals. Fortunately, they are sometimes kind enough to impart lessons while handing him back his arse.

The first lesson is learnt when ten year-old Tarzan is at the local watering hole one day, and Sabor ambushes him and his “cousin”. Rather than wetting his pants on the spot like his companion, Tarzan not only manages to escape by diving into the water, but inadvertently learns how to swim as well. His “cousin” isn’t so lucky, which means that Terk gets eaten in the original too. Bonus!

Image by Zdenek Burian

Not every encounter goes as swimmingly (sorry); some time later, after Tarzan has recovered a knife from his father’s cabin, he finds himself in the shadow of a huge gorilla. Known as  Bolgani, this designer-label-sound-a-like is a hated enemy of Tarzan’s tribe and proceeds to beat him to a pulp. By an enormous fluke, Tarzan points the knife blade-first as he charges. His enemy dead, Tarzan collapses in a heap to be found later by Kala, who nurses him back to health over several laborious months.

Being close to death seems to invigorate Tarzan, especially now he has a new weapon to play with, and once he has fully recovered, he seeks out new ways to annoy the local predators as well as members of his tribe he doesn’t gel with. Kerchak is slightly out of his league at this point, so he turns his attention to his step father, Tublat, lassooing him and suspending him from the odd branch when the mood takes him, before finally killing him with the knife during an attack on his mother. Surprisingly, Kerchak doesn’t bat an eyelid, at least not until Tarzan challenges him to a cock contest a few years later.

Image by Frank Frazetta

This happens when Tarzan is 18, and he goes to hunt Sabor for a final time. A previous attempt using the noose and knife blade ended in failure, so to make sure it’s an even playing field, Tarzan has procured some poisonous arrows from a nearby village. I’ll leave you to guess how quickly this fight came to an end; afterwards Tarzan eats most of the lioness before taking her hide back the troop to lord it over Kerchak. At this direct challenge, the ape leader rushes him, but with the aid of his knife and a strong head lock, Tarzan finally defeats his foe and assumes the role of head of the tribe. This was more for his ego than anything else; once he is in charge, he gets bored and decides to check out the humans.

Tarzan Kill Count: 1 Gorilla, 2 Apes, 1 Lioness

Image by Joe Jusko

As you can see, Disney’s Tarzan interacts with and learns from the animals by playing with or copying them, whereas Burroughs’ Tarzan does this by escaping, teasing or killing them, even members of his own tribe, and is a bit of a shit-stirrer all round. In all fairness, the latter has his life on the line whenever he deals with anything other than his mother, whereas the Disney Tarzan is living a fairly harmonious life with the other jungle creatures. However, both Tarzans use their human ingenuity and tools to improve their lives or get the better of their enemies, so regardless of their wild upbringing they are still influenced by their own kind. How will they react when faced with the real thing?

Strangers Like Me

Disney version

Tarzan goes to investigate the gun shot that stole his thunder, and finds Clayton and the Porters battling their way through the undergrowth on their gorilla expedition. At the same time, Terk, Tantor and other gorilla chums are battling their way through the empty human camp with a pointless musical number, so human and animal relations don’t get off to the best start when the two groups come face to face. Kerchak sternly warns his people to stay away from the newcomers, but Tarzan is understandably intrigued, especially by Jane, and seeks them out to know more.

Rather than scare the gorillas away with Clayton’s gun, Jane suggests they try to teach Tarzan their language and get him to take them to their nest. Over several days, the ape man has his mind blown by images of towns, cities, clothing, and by looking through telescopes. A blown mind apparently accelerates the learning process, because by the end of the week, Tarzan can read and understand most sentences in English as well as form some of his own. This is perhaps the one occasion where Disney can get away with their English characters saying “by jove” and “hullaballoo”, but Tarzan is still too cool for this and chooses to speak with an American accent instead.

Although now able to communicate with Jane and the others, Tarzan still refuses to take them to the gorillas, because he promised Kerchak not to. Clayton, who has spent most of the week shoving pictures of gorillas in Tarzan’s face and shouting at him, changes tactic and says that if he takes them to see them, then Jane can stay with him for longer. Hormones are the order of the day, so Tarzan gets Terk and Tantor to distract Kerchak for a while while he takes them there. The head ape is none too pleased on his return to find humans in his nest, and is remarkably restrained, simply accusing Tarzan of betraying the family and giving him a stern look. Tarzan takes off to ponder who he is, followed by a suspiciously silent Kala.

Burroughs version

Burroughs’ Tarzan also gets introduced to humans via the firing of a weapon. Specifically, a poisonous arrow that tears right through his mother.

A tribe of natives, fresh on the march after a massacre (and subsequent banquet) of white people, have set up a new village near to the apes’ territory. The son of the chief has a hankering for ape meat, but Tarzan scares him away and later kills him in revenge and to swipe his arrows. The natives soon come to fear him as a vengeful spirit, as he makes a point of freaking them out whenever he steals from their village.

Tarzan’s first contact with the “civilised” human world is via the aforementioned cabin. He becomes fascinated by its books, completely disregarding the familiar human skeletons lying at his feet, and over the course of several years, he learns how to read. By the time he is 18 he can understand most of it and can even write simple sentences, but he can’t speak any of it. The books also tell him how to make a spear, fire arrows and lassoo things, so clearly the media is the cause of all things violent.

Nowadays it’s only Tarzan’s rope that dangles from trees.

The reason the Porters arrive this time is because of yet another ship mutiny; the professor was duped into an expensive treasure hunt, taking his daughter Jane, her helper, her admirer Clayton, and his friend Mr. Philander along, but as soon as the sailors neared their destination and got a sniff of the potential goods, they decided to turf them out and take off with the loot (or at least bury it further around the coast).

When Tarzan visits the cabin one day he finds it has been ransacked by this motley crew, and so leaves a note on the door telling them not to touch his stuff and about how much of a badass he is, signing it “Tarzan of the Apes”. He ingratiates himself with the “civilised” group by rescuing Clayton, Jane, and pretty much everyone at some point from either the jungle, an errant lion, or the cannibals. Despite seeing him in person on several occasions, the shore party doesn’t associate the “Tarzan of the Apes” in the letter with Tarzan himself until the very end of the book, because he’s obviously some other human that was abandoned on the shores of Africa and raised by apes.

Since the Disney Tarzan has never seen a human before, nor is he aware that he is one, his intrigue and instinct drive him to betray the one family he has ever known. He also seeks to understand rather than fight or hide from the intruders, learning about his kind’s history and one of its languages in record time. Conversely, Burroughs’ Tarzan was aware from a young age that he was different, and has already done some revision before the Porters arrive, teaching himself how to read and write over several years, as well as begin to wear some clothes. He takes it upon himself to look after and protect the newcomers, especially from the “lower” form of humans living near his troop. The change from ape to human seems gradual for both characters, so how does this manifest itself?

Tarzan the Man

Disney version

Thanks to Kerchak berating him and his mother, and his appearance, Tarzan has always suspected something was amiss. After the elephant stampede, he covers himself in mud to make himself look like a gorilla (P.C. sensors on stand by!), and asks Kala outright why he is different. She reminds him that he still has two hands, two feet and a heart, just like her, and that they are all the same. Well, Sabor did too (sniff).

It’s only after Tarzan’s betrayal that this issue raises its head again, so a sombre Kala takes Tarzan back to the tree house where she first found him. Just like a computer game, the dead bodies have since vanished, but Tarzan comes across a smashed photo frame of his parents and himself as a baby. Kala tells him she wants him to be happy, and then leaves him in the cabin with his thoughts.

You made Kala cry. You monster.

In a rather emotional scene, Tarzan signals his choice by emerging sometime later in his father’s clothes. Miraculously, rather than putting socks on his hands or  trousers over his head, he has managed to dress like a gentleman. He then gives Kala a hug and promises to remember her as his mother, but his mind is made up – he is going to leave with Jane and the other humans.

Burroughs version

This Tarzan’s epiphany comes not just from the cabin and its bounty of books, but when he is in the middle of a fight. For a change.

Image by Tom Floyd.

This takes place after Kerchak and Kala are dead, but before the Porters arrive. Terkoz, Tarzan’s step brother, has been enjoying a bout of lassie-bashing, and so Tarzan intervenes to defend the female. Rather than killing him, Tarzan realises the honourable thing to do is make him surrender, apologise, and then say no more about it. Although Terkoz agrees, Tarzan then says that he must find his own kind, because he no longer thinks like an ape. He goes off in search of the white men and on the way steals some clothing from the village to make himself look more civilised. Luckily he covers his bits before meeting Jane and the others.

His full transformation doesn’t take place until he rescues Lieutenant D’Arnot and they embark on their jungle trip together. D’Arnot teaches Tarzan how to speak French, but first has to teach him grammar in English, which isn’t his first language (welcome to my high school) and so takes longer than usual. However, this does mean they can both read Tarzan’s father’s diary and find out who he really is. On top of teaching him table manners and how to dress, D’Arnot arranges for Tarzan’s finger print to be matched with the baby’s print on Lord Greystoke’s diary, officially proving his lineage. By this point, the Porters have been and gone, but Tarzan is now in a state to go and find them in their natural habitat.

Disney’s Tarzan only finds out about his origin and the cabin when Kala’s hand is forced by the turn of events. He has always been aware that he is different, and once this has solidified, he decides to leave his gorilla family behind and join his own kind for good. Burroughs’ Tarzan knew that he was a human long before, but he doesn’t act to become a “proper” human until he decides to follow Jane; he wasn’t aware that she would be leaving, and seemed content to remain as her “forest god” protector. Both Tarzans have their work cut out for them in this department.

Rumble in the Jungle

Disney version

Unbeknownst to Tarzan, while he was introducing Jane and her father to his family, Clayton was scouting out the location of their nest. As Tarzan swings over the side of the boat to leave for England, he sees that Jane and Professor Porter have been captured, and that the ship’s crew are off to kidnap the gorillas and sell them off to various zoos. Realising humans suck as much as his decision, Tarzan manages to fight free with the help of Tantor, and they rush back to the gorilla nest to protect the troop.

Kerchak is shot down by Clayton, causing Tarzan to explode into a murderous rage and go for him, while dodging the odd bullet or three. After smashing his gun, Tarzan then tries to tangle him up with vines, but they are no match for the hunter’s knife, and after slicing in the wrong place he ends up hanging himself. The other crew members are chased away by the gorillas, but it’s too late for Kerchak, who finally recognises Tarzan as his son before expiring. Now the leader of his people, Tarzan knows he has to stay in the jungle with them, and that this is really where he belongs. Whoever said that power corrupts?

Burroughs version

While Tarzan’s time is mainly spent leading Professor Porter, Mr. Philander and Clayton back to the cabin like lost sheep, he occasionally dabbles in heroic rescues too. Jane is the most obvious victim (I’ll get to her next), but he also saves Lieutenant D’Arnot from the cannibals. He and his fleet of French officers had caught the mutineers, and while looking for Jane they were ambushed by natives. D’Arnot is carried off, but Tarzan flexes his “evil spirit” muscles and frightens them sufficiently in order to untie and carry him away to safety.

The remaining French officers regroup, and with a determined Clayton and resigned Professor Porter, they go back into the jungle to find Jane and any survivors from the attack. Once they find the village, they raise it to the ground and slaughter everyone except for the women and children who didn’t offer resistance. Let me repeat that; except the women and children who didn’t offer resistance. But they’re subhuman, so it’s all good.

By the time Tarzan and D’Arnot make it back to the cabin, Jane and the others have all been reunited and gone back to America. So, with the cannibal village wiped out, and most of his ape foes eradicated, Tarzan’s only enemies are now hundreds of miles of ocean and American social standing.

Disney have chosen a much simpler (and socially acceptable) villain; poachers and the illegal animal trade. This serves to remind Tarzan of where he belongs, and his role as protector of the family. Clayton is dispatched by a terrible but convenient accident, and the rest of the crew don’t seem to put up much of a fight after that. In the original story, the real threat comes from the cannibalistic savages, but Tarzan stops short of murdering them all, instead simply exploiting them. It’s the French officers who storm in and destroy the antagonists, whereas Tarzan spends more time looking after one of their victims. This reinforces how much more “civilised” he is, and how far the savages are beneath him.

Arguably Jane is the catalyst in both versions – Tarzan shows Clayton where the gorillas are so she can stay longer, and the French officers get ambushed while looking for her. Let’s now look at the differences between the lead couples.

Tarzan and Jane

Disney version

While sketching one baboon, Jane manages to anger an entire fleet of them and ends up running for her life. Fortunately, Tarzan has been peering at her through the trees and arrives in time to save her, getting a terrible rope burn on his hand that his feet have somehow avoided.

Once alone together, Jane is both anxious and intrigued by this wild man, who for some reason has a name that can be pronounced in English, despite only speaking in a series of “ook”s and “eek”s. This is Tarzan’s first proper contact with a human, and a female at that, so the intrigue is mutual, and he starts to visit her at the human camp.

Over the few days they are there, Jane and Tarzan become more attached to one another, and Tarzan shows her the ins and outs of his jungle home as Jane teaches him about her own. Unfortunately, time is short, as the boat has now arrived to signal the end of the gorilla expedition. Jane sincerely hopes Tarzan will come with her back to England, but the ape man is a bit of an indecisive hooligan and says no, then yes, and then no again, and asks her to stay with him instead.

“Our kids will look like this too, won’t they?”

Even when the business with Clayton is settled, and the ship’s crew develops amnesia (“We’re going to take the Porters safely home, right?”), Jane feels that she can’t stay with Tarzan because she needs to look after her father, and England is where she belongs. While on the boat leading back to the ship, however, the professor serves his only function in the film and tells Jane she must stay with Tarzan because she loves him. Jane flounders back to shore with a sudden change of heart, followed by the professor, who has now decided to play gooseberry and stay as well.

Tarzan and Jane are reunited with an awkward kiss followed by a better one, and then everyone changes into jungle-appropriate clothes before surfing along the branches together. The end.

Burroughs version

The first time Tarzan comes to Jane’s rescue she doesn’t see him, because she’s too busy fainting after failing to shoot Sabor. Tarzan is a bit reticent about meeting Jane outside the context of a rescue, so he contents himself with watching her through the cabin window at night and stealing a letter she has written to a friend. We discover from this that Jane’s father borrowed money for the treasure hunt from a chap named Robert Canler, and it’s implied that if he can’t pay him back, Jane will have to marry him against her will.

Another male giving Jane unwanted attention is Terkoz, but this message of interspecies tolerance doesn’t go down well with Tarzan, who lunges into action and fights him to the death. Miss Porter very nearly faints, and then allows Tarzan to carry her away into the jungle as her ovaries explode.

Despite appearances, the pair spend the night in a state of grace, partly due to Jane’s fear and because Tarzan realises that “real men” don’t take their mates by force like the apes do. In the morning, after bringing her food, he takes Jane back to the cabin, before which she kisses him and tells him she loves him. When it’s time to leave with the French officers, Jane writes Tarzan a note, inviting him to visit her in Baltimore, and asking him to also thank that nice wild man who saved her from the apes.

However, when Tarzan finally makes it to Baltimore, dressed as a gentleman and behaving as such, she only partly throws herself at him. Outside the jungle context, she doesn’t find him as intriguing, seeing Clayton as more suitable husband material. Although Tarzan saves her from marrying Canler by showing off his bling – the actual treasure they had been looking for, which he recovered – she accepts Clayton’s proposal on the side. Surprisingly, Tarzan keeps shtum, despite knowing that if he told them who he  was, Clayton would lose his fortune in one fell swoop, as he is really the next Lord Greystoke and would inherit everything.

The outcome of Tarzan and Jane’s romance therefore couldn’t be more different. Disney Jane realises she can find happiness with Tarzan and the apes, and finds him fascinating for more than the fact that he saved her life. Burroughs’ Jane, however, is a victim of primitive instinct while in the jungle, but in the cold light of day, cares more about her money and social standing and ends up marrying a man she kind of likes rather than the one she actually loves. It’s also Tarzan who ups sticks and changes his behaviour and wardrobe to find her, but even that’s not enough to impress her, the little tease.

Conclusion

The main themes to take away from the Disney version are “adoption yay!” and “nurture yay!”. Even though it’s important for Tarzan to acknowledge his roots, at the end of the day it’s the gorillas who raised him that are his real family. Both the humans and gorillas need to be tolerant of one another, and just like Tarzan and Jane, share their own experiences and worlds with each other (but maybe not bodily fluids). Life in the jungle is portrayed as a paradise, which has more of an appeal in modern times as people want to escape the rat race, and Sabor the leopard is made excessively vicious and almost demonic so that Disney can justify Tarzan killing another animal.

This is the utter opposite of the original, where the emphasis is on man conquering nature. Tarzan’s superiority, both over the apes and the natives, is constantly rammed down your throat, and at no point is the jungle or its surroundings portrayed as beautiful. Every non-human is treated as an enemy or a victim, and Tarzan must let go of his wild origins completely if he ever wishes to be accepted by human society. Even then, this gets in the way of his romance with Jane, who values social norms and her reputation over the man she once had an affinity with.

The Disney and Burroughs versions of Tarzan therefore present opposing sides of the “nature versus nurture” argument. Burroughs’ story makes Tarzan inherently aware of his superiority, which is why he cannot stay with the apes or remain in the wild where he grew up, and neither should he as it is most improper. Conversely, the Disney version shows that your family and loved ones make you who you are, and show you where you belong. They also suggest that harmony with nature, rather than conflict, is preferable, which could be why they gave their villain Tarzan’s real name – as a rejection of the decidedly less tolerant and violent nature of the original story and its protagonist. However, although both stories are a product of their time, what they both agree on is that if a man is raised by apes, he turns out to be even more awesome than usual.

Dress sense notwithstanding.

Sources

1)  Tarzan, 1999. Film.Directed by Chris Buck and Kevin Lima, U.S.A. Walt Disney Pictures.

2) Burroughs, Edgar Rice. Tarzan of the Apes. Ballantine Books, U.S.A., 1984. ISBN: 0-345-31977-X

3) http://www.edgarriceburroughs.ca/bio/ [online]

I don’t know much about music, but I know what I like, and there are several Disney scores that have stuck in my mind long after the film has finished. Unfortunately, these pieces usually get shafted in favour of the catchy songs, but I would advise you to check out the following. I’m cheating slightly as there were too many for the “official” list, but with this in mind are there any that you would have included?

Honourable Mentions

Beauty and the Beast

Composer: Alan Menken

Have I heard of his stuff? I imagine yes: The Little Mermaid, Pocahontas and Aladdin sit happily on his C.V.

Comments: I’ll probably get lambasted for not putting this one on the list, at which point I kindly refer you to the first word of the post title. When the sombre strings of the film title suddenly give way to that delicate piano, you know you’re in for something special, so it’s no surprise that this score won a Golden Globe back in the day.

Stand out track: West Wing, where Belle goes poking about in the Beast’s quarters and is later pursued by a pack of wolves.

Can I buy it? Yup. Both the original and Special Edition versions are also on iTunes, for all you crazy kids.

The Rescuers Down Under

Composer: Bruce Broughton

Have I heard of his stuff? If you’re an 80s kid, probably, such as Harry and the Hendersons and Baby’s Day Out, and he’s also created music for some of the Florida and Paris Disney rides.

Comments: This film seems to fly under the radar, but the score is quite exhilarating (apt for riding on the back of a massive eagle). Also, it has some native percussion bits going on here and there, so if you like the Lion King, you might like this too.

Stand out track: Cody’s Flight, where Cody frees the eagle Marahute from a trap before flying with her over the Australian outback.

Can I buy it? Yup.  Again, it’s also on iTunes for the princely sum of £9.99. Fun fact: a couple of years after the film came out, before the internet existed (let that sink in a moment), a C.D. copy of this soundtrack would have cost you £200.  I like to think I had expensive tastes rather than awkward.

#5

Brother Bear

Composer: Mark Mancina

Have I heard of his stuff? Speed, Twister, and Tarzan were some of his tinkerings, and he also helped out with the production of the Lion King stage score.

Comments: This is another score that tries to incorporate some native instruments or music; the stand out track is sung in the Inuit language Inuktitut (by the Bulgarian Women’s Choir for some reason). The orchestral pieces are more conventional, but there is enough twinkling percussion and soft voices to give it an air of mystery too.

Stand out track: Transformation, when Kenai is transformed into a bear by a spirit. It sounds a bit like a (far less annoying) group of ewoks singing on a starry night.

Can I buy it? Yup. Again it can also be found languishing on iTunes.

#4

The Little Mermaid

Composer: Alan Menken (again)

Have I heard of his stuff? Yep, see Beauty and the Beast; he has many a Disney score under his belt.

Comments: I remember being blown away by this score at the cinema (then again I was about 7), as it immediately took you to this amazing undersea fantasy world where mermaids still had an aura of mystery. You also got a sense of the manly sailors and the twee royal subjects milling about in the nearby villages in other parts of the score.

Stand out track: the Main Titles, where a surviving fish leads us down into the mer kingdom. Also, have a chuckle at some of the O.T.T. YouTube comments further along; it’s a nice piece of music guys, but really?

Can I buy it? Yup. Also on iTunes, but ixnay on stealing the title track, it’s all or nothing here people!

#3

Mulan

Composer: The late, great Jerry Goldsmith

Have I heard of his stuff? Most definitely. Secret of Nimh, The Omen, L.A. Confidential, Star Trek the Motion Picture, Alien, First Knight, Gremlins, I could go on all day. His best and most underrated work is said to be the music for Ridley Scott’s director’s cut of Legend.

Comments: There’s something about the brass instruments in this score that show how much Mulan is on a mission of defiance as well as survival, and how desperate her situation is, while still remembering it’s supposed to be a score for a children’s film. Also,  we’re simply aware that this story takes place in China, so the music isn’t going “look look Mulan is Chinese!!” every five minutes.

Stand out track: Suite from Mulan, as this weaves all the main musical themes together and gives a good idea of what you can expect from the rest of the soundtrack.

Can I buy it? Yup. Also on iTunes.

#2

Dinosaur

Composer: James Newton Howard

Have I heard of his stuff? Probably – if you’ve watched the three decent M. Night Shyamalan films you would have heard some of his music, and he also co-write The Dark Knight as well as King Kong and others.

Comments: I know this isn’t a traditional Disney film, but the music is so fantastic I couldn’t leave this out. It’s as if the scores from Jurassic Park and The Lion King had a baby, which wasn’t quite as legendary by comparison but still awesome. A few Brits reading this may also recognise elements of the Walking With Dinosaurs series that was on BBC back in the late 90s.

Stand out track: The Egg Travels, where Aladar’s egg is deposed from his mother’s nest and manhandled by various creatures before being dropped on an island (good thing it has air bags then).

Can I buy it? Yup. You’d obviously go for the used version though! Unfortunately, it’s “dinosaur” by name as well as by nature – it’s not on iTunes anywhere.

#1

The Lion King

Composer: Hans Zimmer

Have I heard of his stuff? Tsk, you had to ask? How about Gladiator, The Dark Knight, Inception, The Game of Thrones (season 2), and so on unto infinity.

Comments: Well, I’ve mentioned this one so many times that you probably guessed it already. Much like The Little Mermaid, the music for The Lion King transports you straight to an expansive and magical Africa, and even the incidental parts of the score are strong enough to work as extra songs in the stage version (see Shadowlands and Endless Night).

Stand out track: [Puts on hipster glasses] Frustratingly, the official soundtrack only has a smidgen of the original score included; there is a bootleg copy doing the rounds on the internet, and a campaign to get Disney to release it officially (no cigar as yet, but plenty of reissued remixes that no one wants!). My favourite track is from the bootleg version and is called The Once and Future King. It takes place when Rafiki is painting young Simba’s picture on the wall and continues until Mufasa is leading his son on a tour of the kingdom. The track This Land on the official score has the first part of this, and is slightly faster.

Can I buy it? The official score? Yup. Also on iTunes. No sign of the full score yet though (sniff).

Thanks again for indulging me with another post not entirely related to the blog.

Which Disney scores struck a chord with you, and why?

The 1996 film The Hunchback of Notre Dame saw Disney take more than a few risks with their storytelling. Featuring darker adult topics such as religious genocide and lust, it also toed the line with some pole dancing and the first openly gay Disney character (non-human, but it’s a start). Since this left many people scratching their heads and wondering if a load of pod-people had taken over the company, you could be forgiven for thinking that they had simply stayed true to the source text this time.  As you may have guessed, the only thing more wrong than this answer is Frollo-Esmeralda fan fiction.

The original novel, Notre-Dame de Paris, was written in 1831 by Victor Hugo. If his name rings a bell it’s because he later went on to write the epic Les Misérables, along with various other plays and novels about social and political dissent. This particular novel is set in 15th Century France, and is the story of a deformed bell ringer who falls in love with a beautiful dancer. The idea apparently came to Hugo after seeing a real life hunchback working on the restoration of Notre Dame, and the Greek word  for “fate” carved into the cathedral wall.

The last time this word was carved into anything it didn’t bode well (see Connor: Sarah) so if you were one of those people who was upset that Quasi didn’t get the girl in the end, you might want to turn back now, lest your sanity be lost forever. For everyone else, feel free to bring along some valium and join Esmeralda in praying for the outcast – this one’s going to hurt.

Main Characters

Disney version

Despite being confined to the bell tower his whole life, gentle giant Quasimodo has had exceptional voice coaching as well as access to Simba’s hair stylist. Although his only intellectual discourse comes from a group of stone gargoyles and a religious bigot, he is kind-hearted and wants to see the good in everyone.

Quasimodo’s master, Judge Claude Frollo, is the utter opposite. Everywhere he looks he sees an evil gypsy conspiracy, and feels justified in doing anything to quash it, even murdering innocent people. The fear of eternal damnation is the only thing keeping him in check, but this is soon cast aside for a higher purpose: lust. I’ll let you enjoy that image for a moment.

The object of Frollo’s desire is the smoking hot gypsy woman Esmeralda. As well as giving Jessica Rabbit a run for her money (and with more clothes on), she is willing to stand up for the underdog, and accompanied by her loyal goat Djali, dole out the occasional dose of back chat or a back hander if the city guards overstep their mark.

Esmeralda’s most obvious fan (at least to the audience) is Phoebus, who is the new captain of the guard. Happy to duel with his wits as well as his sword, he starts out under Frollo’s employ but soon defects after witnessing his treatment of gypsies. He too has a loyal animal sidekick in the form of Achilles, his horse, who turns out to be a bit of a one-trick pony (sorry).

Oh, and if you’re wondering which one is the gay character, it’s Hugo, the more rotund of the three stone gargoyles:

We know this because Djali is a male goat in the Disney version, but this isn’t the only difference between the two line-ups, as we’ll see.

Hugo version

A windswept Quasimodo, by Bernard Lamotte.

This Quasimodo has been weathered by sarcasm and spite as well as the various branches of the ugly tree, and so decides to stay in the bell tower of his own volition. He’s also stone deaf and chooses to communicate with sign language rather than big musical numbers, although he does speak occasionally. He has a miserable and embittered outlook on the world, but this shifts slightly when he meets a certain someone.

Esmeralda, named after her pendant rather than her huge green dinner-plate eyes, is a 16 year-old Egyptian girl.  She believes that her virtue is linked to her pendant, so if she loses either, she will never be able to find her long lost parents. This suggests she is on a quest to find them, but in reality she’s just happy dancing with her goat Djali in front of many an admirer. Not everyone appreciates her charms, however, like a crazy reclusive woman who accuses her of devouring babies, and a man called Frollo.

In this version, Frollo is an archdeacon instead of a judge, and is so well educated and knowledgeable that some locals suspect him of being a sorceror. He has a useless layabout of a brother named Jehan whom he raised from infancy, giving him money as well as sermons, and he later adds Quasimodo to his family too. He doesn’t believe there is a global gypsy conspiracy afoot, but he does think that Esmeralda was sent by the devil to tempt him away from his virtuous lifestyle.

Esmeralda, on the other hand, could possibly surrender her virtue to Phoebus, the captain of the royal archers. Although aware of the girl’s doe-eyed affection for him, Phoebus tries to extricate himself from the whole affair as much as possible. Instead, he enjoys getting drunk with Frollo’s brother, and it’s implied he tells women he loves them as often as he asks them the time. This is despite the fact he is betrothed to a local noblewoman.

Last but not least, we have the poet and playwright Pierre Gringoire, who was completely shafted in the Disney film. A former student of Frollo’s, he begins as our main character and is unwittingly roped into the world’s creepiest love triangle, but takes a decidedly neutral stance and appears more interested in the goat than anyone else.

In both versions Esmeralda is the link between the characters, but Disney have made her an older and more bootilicious woman rather than a teenager who wears her virginity around her neck. This is possibly to make Frollo’s obsession with her less paedotastic, and Frollo himself is distilled with the negative traits of the other characters so that we have a clear and obvious villain à la The Jungle Book. Despite this darker turn, Hugo’s version hints at a more tragic romantic outcome, as there is little to suggest that any of the lovelorn characters will find happiness with their chosen idol. Quasimodo is also much more embittered in the original, which is surprising considering the way Frollo treats him in comparison to the film version, as we will see.

The Monster and the Man

Disney version

Clearly the face of a man who can be trusted with children.

Frollo first meets Quasimodo while trying to drown him in a well as a baby, mere moments after killing his mother by kicking her down the cathedral steps. For some reason this makes him ideal father material, so the archdeacon of Notre Dame says he must instead adopt the boy as penance for committing murder and attempted infanticide.

Yes, I am talking about the Disney version.

When you’re an up and coming judge, being saddled with a deformed gypsy baby is a bit of an inconvenience, especially if you hate gypsies. But Frollo knuckles down and chooses to express his disdain by giving him a name meaning “half-formed”, confining him to the bell tower for life, and frequently reminding him that anyone else would have drowned him at birth due to his ugliness. Nice.

Well,  at least he has the best house.

Quasimodo therefore grows up to be meek, submissive and fearful of his “master”, but still grateful to him for his kindness, and for taking the time to drop by with some fundamentalist dogma every morning.

And impressionable adults, too.

The judge never threatens him with violence, instead letting the crowd humiliate him with rotten produce when he breaks the rules and sneaks into the Festival of Fools, and then blaming him for everything bad that happens in the world. For example, his letting Esmeralda escape is what ignited the windmill and almost burnt down all of Paris – saying it was Frollo throwing a flaming torch at the roof is just being pedantic.

Likewise, although Quasimodo can hoist Esmeralda and Phoebus around with no problems, he never raises a hand against the judge. Even when he makes another attempt at murdering him and he has no choice but to defend himself, the hunchback simply disarms him, and when Frollo takes a leaf out of Scar’s book and tells him what really happened to his mother while stood precariously on a ledge, the hunchback instead tries to run away and avoid a fight at all costs.

Interestingly, his mother is not quite as sympathetic a figure in the book.

Hugo version

While she is tragically separated from him in the film, in the book Quasimodo’s mother simply gets bored of him and does a swapsie. The hunchback is eventually dumped in the “lost children” section of the chapel at age four. A 19 year-old Frollo then whisks him away, saying he will look after the child like a proper parent and everything. The reason for the more conventional adoption? He reminds him of his own brother, albeit not physically, whom he found abandoned when their parents were killed by the plague.

Since Frollo adopted him out of kindness then, why the cruel name? Well, in actual fact, the child is named Quasimodo mainly because he was found on “Quasimodo Sunday”, also known as the Octave of Easter in the Christian calendar. In addition, Quasimodo takes himself off to the bell tower, as until the age of 15 when he tragically goes deaf, his only joy is ringing the bells, something he and Frollo bonded over. To escape from the taunts of the townspeople he resides here, and it has nothing to do with the archdeacon’s rules.

That’s not to say their relationship is all rainbows and sunshine; Frollo does angrily sign at him from time to time, for example when he joins in the Festival of Fools, and when he is humiliated by the crowd, the archdeacon makes a point of neglecting him, albeit for a different reason. There is however a certain amount of respect that passes between them. For instance, at one point Quasimodo is sincerely sorry for giving him an accidental back-hander when he catches him spying on Esmeralda, and Frollo takes no further action against him. This is in stark contrast to the end of their relationship, as we will see later.

So far it would seem that Hugo’s version is much lighter. Quasimodo is adopted out of genuine compassion, and he and Frollo have a more conventional father-son relationship. There is also a distinct lack of emotional abuse and murder (at least so far), and Frollo even appears to be  a good guy, a tragic survivor who wants to help others. Strangely, this Quasimodo is the bitter and reclusive one, as opposed to the Disney version, who despite being raised out of duty and with no genuine concern or kindness, is gentle and timid and doesn’t want to cause problems for anyone. Disney’s Frollo uses him as a scapegoat for his own guilt and as a free ticket to heaven rather than trying to help anyone other than himself, and it’s the hunchback who is the tragic survivor.

This is partly why Esmeralda rocks his world, as she is the first person to show him kindness without any ulterior motive.

Sanctuary

Disney version

If someone thought you were so ugly you must be wearing a mask, you’d likely be offended. Fortunately, Quasimodo isn’t, as this is how he first meets Esmeralda at the Festival of Fools. However, his subsequent “unmasking” is what makes the crowd turn on him, and only Esmeralda sticks up for him, showing pity on him and cutting him free in direct defiance of Frollo’s orders.

“£5 says I can fit my entire head in your hand.”

Since her name is now mud with the authorities, Esmeralda has to seek sanctuary in the cathedral, where she and Quasimodo sit and compare notes about how much Frollo hates and judges both of them. She shows no fear of the hunchback whatsoever, and likewise, despite being raised on a diet of gypsy hatred, Quasimodo is courteous, polite and shy, and wants to do everything he can to help her escape to thank her for her kindness. This would be a perfectly platonic friendship, if it weren’t for the stone gargoyles who try to cajole Quasimodo into thinking she’s his girlfriend.

Bounce or break, what d’you reckon?

He is almost convinced when she later returns to visit him, even though the whole of Paris is burning in a bid to find her, but finds himself hastily friend-zoned due to Captain Phoebus. His lack of shining armour, knighthood, and misshapen appearance almost make Quasimodo leave her to the authorities, but he redeems himself later by swooping heroically down and rescuing her from a burning stake, in one of the story’s most iconic moments. Likewise, Esmeralda risks her life to save him while battling it out with Frollo on the side of Notre Dame. Too bad she drops him, but this doesn’t seem to bother him afterwards.

Hugo version

In the novel, the pair don’t get off to the best start, mainly because Quasimodo tries to kidnap her and carry her away like a caveman.

After a bout of dancing in the square after the Festival of Fools, Esmeralda sets off for home down a side street. Quasimodo and a cloaked figure (guess who) try to grab her, but are beaten away by the royal guards. The cloaked figure escapes but Quasimodo is sentenced to the stocks, and the next day is tied up before being brutally whipped and pelted with vegetables for a good hour and a half.

Surprisingly, it’s Esmeralda who steps up to the plate when he begs for water. After she gives him a drink from one of the gourds around her belt, the hunchback sheds a single tear of gratitude, and from then on he makes it his mission to help her, having finally found something that makes him as happy as the bells used to.

Indeed, his heroic cry of “sanctuary” while holding her aloft on the cathedral happens soon after, when she has been accused of murder and witchcraft and he swings down to save her from the gallows. Once she is safely hidden in Notre Dame, he watches over her and brings her food, but keeps out of her sight if he can because she is scared of him. The only exception is when he suggests he try to contact Phoebus for her, after which she becomes excessively grateful and ecstatic. However, when he returns unsuccessful, she then throws a teenage hissy fit and won’t speak to him. This is pretty much the last impression she leaves him with before she escapes.

There is a definite friendship between Esmeralda and Quasimodo in the film, as they are united by Frollo’s ill treatment or persecution, and arguably of a similar age. What’s more, despite such persecution, neither one judges the other. In Hugo’s novel, however, Esmeralda is kind up until the point she realises the hunchback’s affection is more than she can deal with, and her teenage years are more obvious when he fails to do what she wants. She is at best tolerant, and at worst frightened of Quasimodo, who sees her as an object until she blows his mind with real compassion.

The proverbial fly in the ointment is Captain Phoebus, so let’s now see whether this potential romance is going to turn out any better.

“It means God’s gift to women.”

Disney version

Don’t worry, he’s following you because he’s got the horn, not because he’s doing his job.

Both Disney characters have a passion for violence accompanied by a witty remark, so this is a match made in heaven.

Phoebus first ingratiates himself by sneakily stalling some of the other guards when they try to arrest the gypsy, and again by letting her claim sanctuary in the cathedral. This is despite her almost decapitating him during her escape and sending Djali to attack his crotch, so Esmeralda is understandably intrigued. After a brief tussle with candle holders and an exchange of one-liners in Notre Dame, they know it’s meant to be, and this causes a bit of an issue with Phoebus’ chosen career path.

“I know this probably isn’t the time, but how come the wound’s on my chest when I was shot in the back?”

When asked to burn down the miller’s house for harbouring gypsies, and possibly Esmeralda,  Phoebus disobeys Frollo’s orders and is sentenced to death. Fortunately, Esmeralda is a good shot and manages to distract the guards, as well as carry Phoebus back to Notre Dame once he’s been shot with an arrow. When he wakes up, the alcohol starts flowing – mainly over the wound – and the pair share their first kiss as a devastated Quasimodo looks on.

From this point Phoebus is on the side of the gypsies, and risks his life yet again when he goes to warn Esmeralda of an impending attack on her home, the Court of Miracles.

Hugo version

When Esmeralda is captured by Quasimodo, it’s Captain Phoebus who intervenes and rescues her, hoisting her up on to his horse. From that day onward, the young Egyptian is smitten, and even teaches Djali how to spell out his name with blocks.

Unfortunately, Phoebus is in the process of courting his arranged bride, and when the fiancée finds out about the Egyptian girl, she invites her into her house in front of her mother and friends, partly to humiliate her and partly out of curiosity. When Esmeralda leaves soon after, embarrassed, Phoebus follows, and the next thing we hear is that he has hired a room at a local inn for a “rendezvous”, despite making a point of avoiding her during the day.

“I heard popping your cherry could be painful, but this isn’t what I had in mind.”

That night in the room, Esmeralda confesses her love for him, and says that although she would usually remain chaste, she would happily make an exception for him. Because sod your long lost parents when there’s a hot soldier to be had. And anyway, he’s obviously going to marry her afterwards.

Phoebus leads her on regardless, but for some reason appears uncomfortable with the idea of wedlock. Luckily, an irate Frollo intervenes with a stabbing before things can get too awkward, after which Esmeralda faints and for a while believes that Phoebus is dead. The captain is not too bothered about correcting her, as he is too busy sorting out his politically convenient marriage, and when Quasimodo approaches him about the girl, Phoebus drunkenly waves him away and says he wants nothing more to do with her. It’s just as well really, as there was another reason Esmeralda wasn’t marriage material, as we will soon discover.

Hugo’s Esmeralda therefore has a bare-faced teenage obsession with Phoebus, who in turn only sees her as another possible notch on his bedpost before he marries into some money. The Egyptian is completely unaware of this, which makes it all the more tragic in its outcome. Conversely the Disney couple are on an even keel, swapping comebacks and the odd fighting move or two before falling into each other’s arms, and Phoebus’ resolve is also strengthened by this romance. However, Quasimodo is not the only character disappointed at such a union.

Indeed, you may have noticed a rather drastic change in Hugo’s Frollo from compassionate  religious figure to bitter and stab-happy villain. This is due to a growing obsession with Esmeralda, which takes centre stage in the Disney version.

Esmeralda and Frollo

Disney version

“Sorry, I’m not into guys in uniform.”

Frollo actively hates gypsies, people who disobey his orders, and people who send the guards careering into his booth while he’s sitting in it. Esmeralda is guilty on all three counts, but this doesn’t stop him from creepily smelling her hair and telling her he is a patient man, and that he will catch her one day or another, whether she claims sanctuary or not.

“If I had access to porn this might have been avoided.”

“Patient” may have been a bit of an exaggeration, because after a demonic singalong with his fireplace, and after hearing the gyspy has escaped the cathedral, Frollo takes the executive decision to burn down half of Paris to find her. As you may have guessed, this is not just revenge for being upstaged in public; Frollo is tormented by lust, and either wants Esmeralda for himself, or for her to be burned as a witch.

When he finally gets his virtuous hands on her, she is tied up and ready to be burnt alive for the crime of witchcraft. However, apparently witchcraft is acceptable provided you are happy to bone the judge who is accusing you of it, so Frollo offers her the choice of him or a fiery death. Rather than saying yes, kicking him in the nuts and then making her escape, Esmeralda spits in his face and watches in horror as the pyre is lit. When someone chooses a horrible death instead of your company, it puts paid to any idea of romance, so from this point onward, Frollo is happy for her to be brutally murdered.

Hugo version

Esmeralda’s kindness towards Quasimodo isn’t what makes Frollo sit up and take notice in this version – it’s her very existence. It seems he has already been gawping at her from afar, and occasionally watches her dance in the square while muttering about witchcraft. On hearing about her planned meeting with Phoebus, he has the audacity to approach the archer about this and even offers him money so he can come and watch. Just to double check it’s really her, of course, and that she is really a virgin. Phoebus is cool with this, because it’s money after all, but makes sure the priest is locked in a cupboard and out of the way before he gets his freak on with the girl.

Before any hanky-panky can take place, Frollo frees himself and then frames Esmeralda for Phoebus’ murder. Although no one notices Phoebus didn’t actually die from his stab wounds, Esmeralda she is arrested and put on trial anyway. The overwhelming evidence against her comes in the form of Djali’s testimony, that is, the goat spells out the victim’s name in blocks. Esmeralda is then taken to the torture chamber and given a go on this jolly contraption, known as a brodequin:

After screaming her confession to the murder and witchcraft, they then throw her in the dungeon, telling her she will spend the night there in pitch darkness, but if it’s any consolation, she should still be able to dance. In theory. At least until tomorrow, when she’ll be hanged in the square.

Frollo is kind enough to pay her a visit soon after, only to tell her she has ruined his life by bringing his virtuousness into question, and that he is glad she is going to die. However, he changes his tune ever so slightly later on, after she has escaped the gallows and found sanctuary in Notre Dame.

He and Gringoire come to “rescue” her, but while Gringoire absconds with the goat (don’t ask), Frollo makes Esmeralda the same offer the Disney version made, only this time, she will either hang or be his lover. The girl once again turns him down, so he gets the crazy reclusive woman to restrain her while he fetches the palace guards to execute her.

So let’s recap: a 35 year-old archdeacon becomes obsessed with a naive 16 year-old girl, and not only frames her for the murder of the man she loves but orchestrates her torture, gloats over her execution, and then rewards her with the prize of rape or hanging. All this, despite her not doing anything to arouse his anger. The Disney version, at least, gives Frollo a more obvious reason to get angry with the gypsy – she has defied him in public, he hates gypsies anyway, and he doesn’t like the loss of control, lust or otherwise.  However, Disney make Frollo’s reaction much more extreme, in that he starts locking up peasants and burning down houses to get what he wants, culminating in an attempt at mass murder in the middle of the square. Esmeralda would also suffer a far more painful death at his hands.

Frollo manages to capture Esmeralda and her gypsy brethren in the first place  because he finds their aforementioned hideout, which holds more than a few surprises for both sets of characters.

The Court of Miracles

Disney version

Finding the Court of Miracles, and presumably crushing all the gypsies therein, is why the judge initially hired Phoebus. The captain clearly notices Frollo’s tin foil hat but goes along with the plan anyway, at least until he starts chucking fire about in his quest to capture Esmeralda.

Thanks to his friendship with the gypsy girl, Quasimodo has a way of finding it, and just in time too, because Frollo is apparently planning an attack at dawn. He and Phoebus manage to crack the code, despite being distracted by their cock contest, and head down into the catacombs to find Esmeralda and the others to warn them.

“Don’t worry kids, I won’t leave anything out of the story. Even the bit where I try to murder your heroes in cold blood. Hey, why are you crying?”

Said gypsies are not quite as welcoming as expected. After ambushing the two heroes, their leader, Clopin (who incidentally is our storyteller), has them bound and gagged and sentences them to hang for being Frollo’s spies. Luckily his own hand puppets distract him long enough for Esmeralda to dash on to the scene and order a halt to the execution, after which Phoebus is extremely forgiving and warns them of Frollo’s attack. Too late, however, as the judge has followed them right there and captures everyone, hinting that they will all be burnt alive in the city square the next day. All except for Quasimodo, who will be chained up in Notre Dame so he keeps out of trouble.

Hugo version

The Court of Miracles is also the home of the gypsies in the original, but it’s in plain sight and is simply a no-go area of the city (think The Shades in Discworld, except with less hilarity). Clopin is the king, but he does share some power with the “Duke of Egypt and Bohemia”, and the “Emperor of Galilee”, and has an equal penchant for hanging innocent people.

This time the victim is Pierre Gringoire, our shafted playwright. After the Festival of Fools and Esmeralda’s dancing steal the thunder from his stage play, he takes off in a huff into the streets of Paris, where he both tries and fails to rescue Esmeralda from Quasimodo. Not long after, he is captured by some of the gypsies and brought on trial in the Court. If he can successfully pick the pocket of a dummy, without making it move or falling and breaking his neck from a great height, they will spare him and allow him to become a thief like them.

Unsurprisingly, he fails, and is sentenced to hang. Fortunately, Clopin suddenly remembers that he can offer the prisoner’s hand in marriage, and if anyone accepts, he will be granted a stay of execution. Esmeralda appears and says that she will marry him, and so she and Gringoire are made husband and wife for a minimum of four years. His attempts to consummate the marriage fail, as the girl sort of blinks at him and explains she only did it to save him, after which Gringoire contents himself with cuddling Djali, and is equally nonplussed when Frollo later cross-examines him about the entire ordeal. As we saw earlier, Esmeralda is also strangely silent on this topic when enthralled in the embrace of Phoebus.

The members of the Court of Miracles are rather brutal in both stories, but again the Disney version has more rhyme and reason – they are trying to protect themselves from being discovered, as they know Frollo will kill them all if they are ever found. Hugo’s gypsies are just an unpleasant bunch trying to recruit new members or kill trespassers, so Esmeralda’s kindness is even more highlighted. In both versions she comes to the rescue of the heroes, but also ends up in need of rescue herself. Guess which version turns out for the better.

War on Notre Dame

Disney version

When all seems lost for both the gypsies and Esmeralda, Quasimodo manages to break free of his chains in the bell tower and swings down to rescue her. Outraged, Frollo orders his guards to break into the cathedral, so the hunchback responds by throwing debris and even pouring lead over the side, regardless of the hundreds of innocent people who are congregating in the square below.

Pictured: Reasonable force.

The crowd then rushes the guards, but Frollo manages to squeeze in through the battered main door. After shoving the archdeacon down the stairs, he rushes up to find Quasimodo weeping over Esmeralda, who apparently died from smoke inhalation. He takes this chance for a stabbing, which the hunchback easily deflects, and makes the astute observation that Frollo may just be the most wicked person he has ever met.

Esmeralda suddenly comes to, so Quasimodo whisks her away on to the side of the cathedral as the judge pursues them with a sword. The stone gargoyles do sod all to help, so the judge very nearly sends Quasimodo plunging to his death and tries to behead Esmeralda. Fortunately, poetic justice in the form of a completely unrelated stone gargoyle means Frollo is the one who plummets into the fiery pit. In the meantime, Phoebus has fought free and arrives just in time to catch Quasimodo as he loses his grip.

“They see me as A man, as well as THE man. Bonus!”

Reunited and victorious, Esmeralda, Phoebus and Quasimodo emerge from Notre Dame into the square where it’s suddenly daytime, and it seems the crowd was thoughtful enough to wait up all night for them. Then the world’s weirdest looking child goes up and starts touching Quasimodo’s face. Rather than back handing her and giving her an odd look, Quasimodo hugs her and the crowd finally accepts him as a human being. They hoist him on their shoulders and carry him away into the square, while Esmeralda, Phoebus and Djali (who suddenly appears out of nowhere) stand beaming on the steps of the cathedral.

By this point you are probably thinking that the Hugo version can’t be all that much worse, and that the Disney film is the one with the darker and more depressing elements (the torturing of a young girl notwithstanding).  Well, the main difference here is that Hugo decided to cash in all his chips at the end.

Hugo version

Sachette, Esmeralda and Claude Frollo, by Louis Boulanger

In their plan to rescue Esmeralda from the cathedral and get her to safety, Gringoire and Frollo decide to distract the royal guards by sending the gyspies at them. They therefore tell Clopin and the others that there is a plan afoot to kidnap Esmeralda from inside Notre Dame  and hang her.

No one bothered to tell Quasimodo this plan, nor would he have been able to hear an explanation, so when the gyspy army turns up at the cathedral, he mistakenly thinks they are the ones who have come to kill Esmeralda. He ends up throwing beams, bricks, and pouring lead down on to them, and also murdering Frollo’s rabble-rousing brother  by throwing him off the side of Notre Dame. A round of applause for the hunchback, everyone.

It’s at this point that Gringoire and Frollo get into the cathedral and take Esmeralda and Djali away with them. Quasimodo doesn’t realise she has gone until it’s too late and Frollo has already left her in the care of the crazy recluse.

We then discover that the crazy recluse is Esmeralda’s real mother, and that Esmeralda and Quasimodo were swapped in infancy by the gypsies (hence her belief that Esmeralda and “her kind” eat babies). Reunited mother and daughter cry with joy, and the mother pulls her into her cell to hide her before the guards arrive. This all goes to plan, until Phoebus happens to ride by on his horse, and Esmeralda emits a fan-girl squeal and shouts out to get his attention. He doesn’t hear her, but the recently departed guards do. The mother is then killed in a desperate and screaming tussle to protect her daughter, but the gypsy girl is carried away  to be hanged nonetheless. No one comes to her aid, although there are a couple of pitying murmurs from some of the guards.

Unfortunately, unlike in the film, things don’t improve by the light of day.

The next morning, Quasimodo finds Frollo standing on the roof of Notre Dame watching something. Following his gaze, he sees Esmeralda getting executed in the square. When she finally stops twitching at the end of the noose, Frollo laughs, and so the hunchback gives him a shove and sends him plummeting to his own death.

It’s not all bad news though. Gringoire has managed to escape with his beloved Djali, and realises he’s got a knack for writing tragedies. He therefore decides to spread misery and sorrow to all of his audiences for the rest of his days.

Djali, on the other hand, is believed to have been the devil acting through Frollo and Quasimodo. Consequently, the priest is not buried on hallowed ground or given a proper funeral.

Quasimodo disappears, thereby also implicating himself, only for a strange and malformed skeleton to be found years later in the crypt. Its arms are wrapped around the skeleton of a young girl with a broken neck, and when disturbed, its bones turn to dust.

As for Phoebus, the book assures us he had the worst fate of all. He got married.

Hey, at least the goat survived.

In fact, it’s probably worth noting that Djali has the most sense of any of the characters, completely avoiding the battle on the cathedral and the attempt at mass execution in both versions. Although it’s mainly Frollo’s obsession that starts the showdown at Notre Dame, in the original novel the others reach their peak as well – Quasimodo kills his adoptive brother and father to protect or avenge Esmeralda, and Esmeralda’s obsession makes her break cover, sacrificing herself, her mother and her lifelong dream of meeting her family just because Phoebus happened to be passing by. Conversely, it’s at this stage of the film that Frollo’s madness unites everyone – the crowd rushes the cathedral to protect the gypsies, and Quasimodo finally stands up to his master to protect his friend. This results in him winning the hearts and minds of the peasants and gaining acceptance.

Conclusion

As well as pressing the “nuke character” button, Hugo’s story shows us the dangers of obsession, authority figures, and teaching animals cute tricks. Frollo, who was hitherto a compassionate father figure and respectable religious authority, becomes a violent and manipulative cad. Esmeralda’s obsession nearly makes her betray her own principles, and ends up costing her her life because all that matters to her is winning Phoebus’ affection and attention. Phoebus himself starts out as a heroic protector, but is then revealed to be selfish and hedonistic. Quasimodo is the only one whose personality improves due to his infatuation, but when it results in him starving to death while wrapped around a dead body, it’s not exactly a positive change.

Conversely, the Disney version is about prejudice, the dangers of religious dogma, and that even if things don’t always work out in the romance department, you can always rely on your friends. All three main male characters are driven to take a stand because of their feelings for Esmeralda, but it’s only the ones who truly love her who survive and become a force for good. It’s therefore also a story about the power of love and friendship, and how it can transcend appearances and misconceptions.

In comparison to the original, Disney have thrown rainbows and sunshine at the ending before burying it in the catacombs. The people who are unfairly treated are redeemed, and the crowd sees the error of its ways and fights to protect them. The characters in the book have no such luck, their discrimination only increasing, and their love or obsessions driving them to disaster and changing them into different people. However, Disney more than make up for such sugar-coating by taking a much heavier hand to some of the elements in the book, emphasising the persecution and hatred felt by some of the characters.

As a closing observation,  both goats get away suspiciously scot free. And are conveniently absent when things like torture or witch burning are going on. There is therefore only one real conclusion to this entry, and it is as follows:

They’ll eat everything. INCLUDING YOUR SOUL.

Sources

1)  The Hunchback of Notre Dame, 1996. Film. Directed by Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise, U.S.A. Walt Disney Pictures.

2) Hugo, Victor. Notre-Dame de Paris. Hachette, Paris, 1990. ISBN: 978-201-014-551-3

3) http://www.victorhugo.gg/victor-hugo/  [online]

4) http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/274974/Victor-Hugo/3352/Success-1830-51 [online]

5) Real Life Quasimodo uncovered in Tate archives, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/artsandentertainmentbooksreview/7945634/Real-life-Quasimodo-uncovered-in-Tate-archives.html

You’d be hard pushed to find a Disney film without a spot of romance, but is the same true of their original stories?

The short answer is yes, but that doesn’t mean that they have the same outcome, or that the romance was a good idea in the first place. Or that it even existed outside someone else’s head.

Regardless, every Disney film needs a loved up couple, dammit, so here is a countdown of seven love affairs (or not) glossed over by the House of Mouse so far.

#7

Bambi and Faline

From: Bambi

Disney version: Bambi and Faline are cousins and first encounter each other as fawns. They also become playmates, at least until the manly bucks strut on to the scene, after which Bambi decides he has no time for girls and chases her away with a head butt. The reverse is true in adulthood, however, when he chases away any male opponents with his trusty antlers and even battles a pack of vicious dogs to defend his lady love. The two remain together through hell and high water (pretty much literally), and the film ends with a proud Bambi watching over his mate and their new twins.

Salten version: Bambi and Faline are also cousins in this version, and they probably see more of each other than their own mothers. When mating season arrives, they enjoy a teenage-like infatuation that comes to an abrupt halt when Bambi sees his badass of a father wandering about. Becoming a noble and lonely stag is suddenly far more interesting to Bambi, and he responds to Faline’s affection with a non-plussed shrug before wandering off into the bushes and never looking back. He does briefly glimpse her later on with a couple of her fawns, but exactly which ones he fathered is anyone’s guess, and he seems about as interested in finding out as he is hanging around Faline once they have popped their respective cherries. But, to his credit, Faline’s is the only heart he breaks – we never hear about other dalliances with the does.

Romance Verdict: Forest Fling.

Interestingly, Disney glossed over the one night stand and abandoned offspring angle but kept the vaguely incestuous one. Still, the sight of all that wood seems to get people going, as we can see from the next entry:

#6

Tarzan and Jane

From: Tarzan

Disney version: A pretty zoologist meeting a half-naked jungle warrior was bound to spell romance, and Tarzan and Jane see each other with equal parts fascination and longing. Both are open to new ideas, such as wearing clothes or swinging through jungle vines, and by the end of the film they realise they are both happy living semi-naked among apes and with one respective parent playing gooseberry in their relationship.

Burroughs version: A pretty Victorian lady meeting a half-naked jungle warrior also spells romance, but only within the context of a shipwreck or a rescue. For all her swooning, Jane realises in the cold light of day that Tarzan wouldn’t make the most suitable husband in high society, and instead jumps ship with the more conventional and richer William Clayton, despite Tarzan learning English, how to behave like a gentleman, travelling thousands of miles to find her and getting a hair cut. So we have a classic Sk8er Boi situation, and Jane would no doubt kick herself if she knew that Tarzan was Clayton’s older cousin and therefore the real heir to the estate.

Romance Verdict: Fickle Flirtation

Since the Disney film is about embracing who you are, it’s no surprise that this Jane gives up everything to live with Tarzan, rather than leaving the one person she truly loves because her friends just wouldn’t “get” him. If only our next lady had had the same idea:

#5

Megara and Hercules

From: Hercules

Thought this one would be higher, didn’t you?

Disney version: Meg is likely the first woman Hercules has seen for several years, and she has a special place in his heart as his first real damsel in distress (despite being in cahoots with the Lord of the Underworld). This innocent but caring fish-out-of water is just what the jaded young Meg needs, and in the end she even defies Hades and risks losing her soul to protect him. Admirable, seeing as the last boyfriend she gave up her soul for ran off with the next bimbo, but instead our honourable and loving Hercules surrenders his hard-earned godhood so he can stay with her for the rest of his life. Ahh.

Mythology version: Megara was the daughter of the king of Thebes and was given to Heracles in marriage after he saved the city. We’re not sure if Megara was happy about this because she is barely touched upon in the original myths, but we do know she was distinctly unimpressed by Heracles going on a rampage and killing their two sons. In some variations she was also killed, but in the Apollodorus version she survives and Heracles later marries her off to one of his nephews, feeling he is no longer worthy of her after his little massacre. To be fair, he did it because his jealous stepmother Hera made him do it, but he is reasonable enough to know he was an idiot and perhaps not the best husband material.

Romance verdict: Domestic Derangement.

Let’s be honest – Disney wanted some authenticity in their version of Greek mythology, so out of Heracles’ mortal wives they chose the one who didn’t keep centaur jizzum in a jar. This romance  is also further down the list because the Disney version stops before we get to the family, and Heracles does show some remorse for his actions. Unlike our next Lothario:

#4

Esmeralda and Phoebus

From: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Disney version: Back chat, back-handers, and an aversion to religious genocide are just some of the things that this pair have in common. After impressing each other in the street with dancing or use of an animal sidekick, Esmeralda and Phoebus are intrigued by one another, and once they realise they would risk their lives to fight for the greater good, they fall into each other’s arms with a passion as hot as the fire consuming all of Paris. Even the friend-zoned Quasimodo can’t deny that they are made for each other, and sadly accepts that the beautiful gypsy chose the guy with the ridiculous blond goatee.

Hugo version: After Phoebus rescues her from Quasimodo’s clutches, the teenage Esmeralda is as smitten as your average boy band fan, and the soldier treats her as such: slightly bemused by her passion but also enjoying the attention. However, he’s not above meeting her for a secret rendezvous and deftly dodging a promise of marriage after the deed’s been done. Before they get this far they are rudely interrupted by Frollo’s knife attack, after which Phoebus completely washes his hands of the gypsy and leaves her to be tried and hanged for his murder, even though he’s clearly alive. Sadly, Esmeralda still doesn’t take the hint that he’s just not that into her, and in a last ditch effort to see him again ends up being captured and executed – to Phoebus’ complete indifference while he gets married to someone else.

Romance verdict: Virginal Victim.

The only way for this romance to work was to show the version Esmeralda saw in her own head. Phoebus backing slowly away was understandable after being stabbed, but by refusing to give evidence that he was, you know, alive, firmly stamped the word “GIT” on to his forehead. Fortunately, our next couple are evenly matched in this department:

#3

Zeus and Hera

From: Hercules

Disney version: Zeus, a man with impossibly large nipples, and Hera, a woman who would vanish if she stood sideways, are Greek gods who live on Mount Olympus and enjoy throwing lavish parties. The epitome of loving parents, they spend the majority of the film pining for their beloved son Hercules who was stolen and turned mortal by evil forces. Both watch over him from above, with Zeus imparting some much needed advice, and Hera embracing him and spelling out the film’s moral for the audience in case they didn’t get it.

Mythology version: Zeus and Hera’s relationship is equal parts amusing and disturbing, and therefore ripe for its own reality show (no takers as yet). The reason? They are siblings as well as spouses, and so their arguments are twice as vindictive and calculating as those of other car-crash couples. To give an example, Zeus spends most of his time fathering illegitimate children, and so Hera spends her time tormenting said children or sending them on murderous rampages for her own amusement, Heracles in particular. Like any sensible father, Zeus retaliates by suspending his wife from Mount Olympus with anvils hanging from her feet. So not the world’s most exemplary couple, even for Ancient Greece.

Romance Verdict: Incensed Incest (try saying that five times quickly, and without attracting strange looks.)

Cousins getting it on is apparently fine, but Disney draws the line at brother and sister action as well as infanticide and spousal abuse. Our next couple get on a lot better, but their relationship started off more one-sided than most. And by more, I mean completely:

#2

Prince Phillip and Princess Aurora

From: Sleeping Beauty

Disney version: Despite being betrothed as children, Phillip and Aurora don’t meet until years later when they stumble across each other in the forest (and as we’ve seen, it’s clearly the place for singles to hook up). After a bout of synchronised singing they know it’s meant to be, so who cares about small details like the other person’s name? In any case, Phillip is prepared to battle an evil sorceress and her dragon incarnation to save his love, and fortunately for him, Aurora seems fairly content that he was the one to kiss her and break the evil spell. They presumably marry soon afterwards, because kissing more than one person makes you a total harlot.

Basile version: I’m sure Talia would have also appreciated a kiss from a handsome prince, had she been awake for this and its subsequent follow up. The young girl (age unknown) is found in her unconscious state by a wandering king, and since she is beautiful and offers no resistance, he decides to take the initiative. By the time Talia wakes up, she has somehow given birth to and nursed two twins whose father already has a wife in tow and leaves them in the tower for long stretches of time. When the king finally shows up, the pair conveniently realise they love each other, brushing any shady implications under the carpet, and later marry once the former queen has been dispatched for her evil deeds.

Romance verdict: Retrospective Rape

As loved up as this couple was, this was only the case after the king had deposited his royal seed. Not only that, but there is a rather unpleasant question mark over Talia’s age, as well as that of the king.

With this in mind, you are probably wondering what number 1 is going to be. Before you scroll down the page (or glance downward if you’re on a desktop), consider that up until this point there has been at least some degree of mutual attraction between the couples, so it wasn’t completely off the wall for Disney to forge a romance out of it. For the next entry, it kind of was:

#1

Eric and Ariel

From: The Little Mermaid

Disney version: Ariel the mermaid has always had a fascination with humans, and Prince Eric is both dashingly handsome and the first man she sees up close. The rather cynical sea witch spell dictates that for Ariel to remain human and stay near the man she loves, she must make him fall in love with her in three days. No easy task, considering he is equally fascinated by the strange woman who saved him from drowning and doesn’t put two and two together when Ariel lands on his doorstep (although her lack of voice doesn’t help matters). Happily, the two do fall in love, and despite another woman and a few octopus-related setbacks, they are reunited and later married once Ariel’s human status  and voice box have been reconfirmed.

Andersen version: The set up in the original story is the same, but it goes horribly wrong in practically every way possible. The sea witch not only permanently removes her tongue, but her spell makes the mermaid’s legs sheer agony to walk on. The prince wrongly connects his rescuer with a girl from a nearby temple, and when he meets the mermaid, he treats her as an entertaining oddity and makes her sleep on a cushion outside his room like a small dog. For all her charm and beauty, she is always considered second best, and when it looks like the prince will grudgingly cut his losses and go with her anyway, he arranges to marry the girl from the temple after all. Although this would end in death for the mermaid, she refuses her only way out – killing him – and so turns into sea foam the morning after the wedding. She becomes some sort of angel afterwards, but the prince is even more oblivious to her than he was at the beginning of the story, and despite watching the person she loves marry someone else and giving her life for him, the mermaid finds out this counts for precisely bugger all when it comes to karma.

Romance verdict: Hopeless Heartbreak

This is the loudest example of Disney clapping their hands over their ears and singing over the original romance outcome. Given the target audience this is the only possible ending they could have conjured up, but this begs the question as to why they would choose this story anyway.

To avoid ending on a downer (or cynical cackle if that’s what floats your boat), here are two couples that were just as happy in the original as in the Disney films:

Belle and the prince/Belle and the prince

From: Beauty and the Beast

Both beasts would give up their lives or their human forms for Belle, and both Belles realise there is a decent person underneath all the hair and claws.

Aladdin and Jasmine/Aladdin and Badr al Budur

From: Aladdin

Both Aladdins use the genie to impress the princess and rescue her; both princesses love Aladdin for his streetwise nature or singular bling.

Now, doesn’t that make you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside?

If you’re not sure, just ask Belle.

Our first foray into CGI Disney, Tangled is based on the tale of Rapunzel, the girl with the long golden hair who uses it as a ladder to let people into her tower. Interestingly, the DVD box says the source text is “hilarious”, which is a slight departure from the original claim of “inspires Nazism”.

Okay, that’s an equally slight exaggeration, but Rapunzel formed part of Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm’s most famous work, Die Kinder und Hausmärchen (Children’s and Household Tales), which was banned from many a classroom in the west after World War II. It was feared that the stories contained therein had desensitised children to violence and paved the way for extremism, so at least we know it’s not just video games that turn kids evil. Despite appearances, just as Tangled is as happy-go-lucky as Hercules, Rapunzel is actually one of the less traumatic offerings from the Brothers Grimm.

In case you’ve only heard their names and not a lot else, the Brothers Grimm are heralded as the fathers of modern German literature studies, and with good reason. During the 19th Century, Germany was in a bit of a mess due to various political squabbles, and so to help preserve the country’s identity, the brothers set about collecting German folk tales and fairy stories as well as researching the roots of their own language. Since their adaptation is the first story that carries the name “Rapunzel”, I have chosen this version as our source text.

Based on the German translation of Mademoiselle de la Force’s Persinette, Rapunzel actually has two iterations, from 1812 and 1857 respectively. The one from 1857 is the most well known, but this was after some conservative editing – when the Grimms realised how popular their stories could be with children, they decided to clean them up accordingly. Sounds familiar.

So, are we going to look at the unedited 1812 version? Of course we are.

Flower Power

Disney version

In a far away land, a good king and queen (who still hang people for stealing) are in a spot of bother. The queen is pregnant but gravely ill, and the only thing that can cure her is a legendary flower made from a drop of sunshine. The king sends out his soldiers on what they probably thought would be an epic, dragon-filled, swash-buckling quest to find it, but it turns up pretty quickly beside an up-turned basket on a cliff, and so they whisk it away to make a potion to cure the queen. Result!

The chameleon: evil omen for Disney children everywhere.

Unfortunately, the owner of the up-turned basket is Mother Gothel, who may or may not be a sorceress.  She has been using the flower for its magical youth-restoring properties, and she is none too pleased at the thought of reverting back to wrinkle cream like the rest of us. By the time she reaches the castle to retrieve the flower, it has long since been digested by the queen and its powers now have a new home in the luxuriant blonde hair of the baby princess.

Out of desperation, Gothel resorts to something even more extreme than botox and cosmetic surgery: kidnapping and emotional abuse. She sneaks into the castle, steals the princess and then raises her as her own for the express purpose of cheating old age.

After a fruitless search for their daughter, the mournful king and queen make a pact to release hundreds of lanterns every year on her birthday in the hope that one day she will return to them. Because “missing” posters would be too obvious.

Grimm version

Both sides show a distinct lack of effort here.

After many years of trying for a baby, a married couple finally conceive, and one day the pregnant wife has a particular craving while looking out of the window. She spots a patch of rapunzel (lamb’s lettuce) in the lush and verdant garden next door, and decides there’s nothing else in the world she would rather eat. Unfortunately, it belongs to a fairy, and so no one dares to go inside. Clearly unable to do her own shopping, or, you know, ask the fairy’s permission, the wife falls into a deep depression and becomes ill.

This is what “rapunzel” looks like. Totally worth your first born.

Worried for her health, her husband steals some of the rapunzel for her, but when he returns the next day to pilfer more, he is caught red handed. Doing his best to avoid fertilising said garden, he apologises profusely to the fairy, Gothel, and explains that he can’t refuse his wife anything when she is pregnant. Gothel is utterly reasonable and says he can take as much rapunzel as he wants as long as they give her the child afterwards. In his terror the husband agrees, and when their baby daughter arrives, the fairy whisks her away. As an extra slap in the face, or because she has no imagination, she names the girl “Rapunzel”.

The parents are never heard of again, because after swapping their first born for a bunch of salad leaves, they then trade their organs for a sackful of carrots. Probably.

Disney took all of the elements of Rapunzel’s origin and gave them a cinematic upgrade. A tasty piece of garnish and a rather extreme punishment for stealing become a life-saving magical flower and a royal tragedy due to an inconvenience. There is also the hope that the princess will one day be reunited with her family, whereas in the Grimm version there is no question of this because the parents must take responsibility for their mistake. This seems to be the only motivation of the fairy in this case, whereas Disney’s Gothel takes the child so that she can continue her way of living. So what do these charming ladies do with their newly acquired offspring?

Life in the Tower

Disney version

Realising a basket isn’t the best hiding place after all, Gothel decides to confine the newly-named Rapunzel to a tower in the middle of the woods for the rest of her life. After a certain age she only visits the girl a few days at a time, shouting out for her to throw her long hair out of the window so she can use it as a ladder, with a clear disregard for hygiene. Her visits are fleeting; she only stays long enough to humour Rapunzel and replenish her youth.

Despite this, Rapunzel has been making the best of a bad situation and spends her days baking, painting, reading or playing with her pet chameleon. Although usually afraid of leaving the tower, she can’t help but be intrigued by the strange lights that appear in the sky every year on the night of her birthday. Demonstrating Sherlock-like skills of elimination, she has worked out that these lights are not stars or any natural phenomena, and since her 18th birthday is fast approaching, hopes Gothel will give her permission to go and see them up close. Her response?

Yes, it seems that Gothel went to the same parenting classes as Frollo (less the sideline in genocide and religious fundamentalism), and has manipulated and emotionally blackmailed Rapunzel into staying in the tower for her own safety, becoming sarcastic and snide whenever the subject is breached and baulking at the idea of Rapunzel surviving on her own. She then launches into a passive-aggressive song and rounds it up with veiled threats if she ever asks to leave again. So, that would be a no.

However, Rapunzel isn’t quite as downtrodden as it appears, and she is about to be presented with an opportunity to shine.

Grimm version

Obviously too difficult to fly up. You know, for a fairy.

Beautiful young Rapunzel is only confined to the tower from the age of 12, so we can assume that she was living with the fairy up until this point. Next door to her real parents. Who thought it perfectly acceptable to break the rules for a few salad leaves, but not in order to see their missing daughter. Hmm, perhaps the fairy had more sense than to leave the girl with those two idiots.

However, this Gothel’s actions aren’t exactly model either; like the Disney version, she makes Rapunzel stay in the tower indefinitely and visits her every day, shouting for her to throw down her hair and use it as a makeshift ladder. There are no details about what Rapunzel does with her time when Gothel is away, except for singing at the window, so we have no idea whether she is happy with her predicament or not.

The key difference here is that the tower in the Disney version is Gothel’s way of protecting her secret, whereas the one in the Grimm version is just a huge stone chastity belt. Grimm’s Rapunzel also offers no resistance to her captivity as far as we know, and has as much personality as the usual damsel in distress in a fairy tale. Gothel’s attitude towards her is also a mystery at this point. Conversely, in a bid to make her less of a victim, Disney have made their Rapunzel much more active, intelligent, and unwilling to while away the days despite her confinement, and their Gothel is much more manipulative and sinister in order to keep her in check.

The key to her escape comes in the form of a handsome young man, but each Rapunzel will find that the road to love and happiness is a tricky one indeed.

Easy Rider

Disney version

To fund his pipe dream of owning his own castle, wanted thief Flynn Rider steals what would have been Rapunzel’s crown from the palace and takes off into the wilderness. While fleeing his jilted robber friends and the royal guards (including the most awesome Disney horse since Samson), he stumbles upon the valley of Rapunzel’s tower.

No one apart from Gothel has ever come across this tower in 17 years, which means that this:

was somehow much more obvious than this:

Despite the sheer walls, Flynn manages to climb up and into the window, thinking it would be a superb place to stash his loot.  He is rewarded for this ingenuity with several blows from a frying pan, courtesy of a terrified Rapunzel.

The girl, astonished at her own bravery and resourcefulness, further surprises herself by making a deal with Flynn (when he has regained consciousness). If he takes her to see the lights in the sky, she will give him back his satchel, which clearly held something important.

Only Gothel would be less impressed by this turn of events, but Flynn agrees anyway, at first trying to talk her out of it – even turning the knife about how heartbroken Gothel would be if she found out – but then warming to the girl after they help each other out of various scrapes on their way to the lights. After revealing the magical healing properties of Rapunzel’s hair, and an earnest heart to heart about their respective upbringings and dreams, the pair realise they have much more in common than first thought.

It turns out that Flynn Rider was formerly known as Eugene Fitzherbert, a down-on-his-luck orphan who took to stealing so he could become an adventurer. He hasn’t let his status or situation restrict him, and this is part of the reason why he and Rapunzel click – he tells her she can’t live her life by Gothel’s rules, and that rebellion and independence are part of growing up. He also inadvertently shows Rapunzel the world she has been missing, amazingly without the need for a magic carpet. Regardless, he and Rapunzel go up to the brink of a kiss on a boat while finally watching the flying lanterns. Ahh.

All we need now is a conga eel.

Our original Rapunzel, on the other hand, would be left tapping her foot impatiently in this situation.

Grimm version

Rapunzel, by Granger.

Rather than a thief, this handsome young man is a prince, who happens to wander past the tower one day while Rapunzel is singing at the window. He’s somewhat less cerebral than Flynn and doesn’t know how to climb up without a ladder or stairs, but luckily, after a couple of days of moping about, he sees the fairy and hears her call out “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.”

That same day, when it gets dark, he calls out to Rapunzel using the same words. For some reason she doesn’t notice  that the fairy’s voice has suddenly grown a pair of testicles, and throws her long hair down to him.

The prince pulls himself up, and although Rapunzel is scared at first she doesn’t resort to frying pan-related violence. In fact, the pair hit it off so well that they arrange to see each other every day when the fairy isn’t around, and in the words of the original “lived in joy and pleasure for a long time”. So we can conclude that being locked in a tower was a popular medieval aphrodisiac, and that in the original, Flynn’s “smoulder” actually worked.

As with the Disney version, our mother figure is none too pleased with this development and ends up playing gooseberry.

In an interesting role reversal, Disney have made Flynn a peasant whose dream of living in a castle could technically be granted by Princess Rapunzel. Their relationship is also a slow-burner (in fantasy terms at least), starting with a bout of assault, a mind game or two on the part of Flynn, and a heart to heart talk inspired by proximity to death. But then onwards it starts warming up into a genuine romance. Conversely, the Grimm couple don’t even have to leave the tower before they get it on. Neither are also the sharpest tools in the box, as the prince couldn’t work out how to climb up the tower, and Rapunzel demonstrates worse voice recognition than your average Sat Nav, but they seem happy as a couple from the outset.

How is their illicit affair discovered? By good old fashioned stupidity, that’s how.

Mother Knows Best…Apparently

Disney version

After an expert diversion by Rapunzel, Gothel has left for three days and is blissfully unaware of her escape. At least for the first twenty minutes, until she finds the aforementioned awesome horse without a rider and dashes back to the tower in a panic. Finding it empty, Gothel somehow stumbles across Flynn’s satchel, complete with royal crown. This would be no help to her at all, if the narcissistic Flynn hadn’t identified himself by putting one of his own “wanted” posters in the bag as well.

Now knowing who to look for, Gothel sets off in search of her absconded prisoner offspring. She manages to track the pair down, but rather than drag the girl screaming back to the tower (at least at this point), she flexes her manipulative muscles. After planting seeds of doubt in Rapunzel’s mind about Flynn’s true loyalty – Gothel warns he will dump her as soon as he has the crown back – she then enlists the help of the thief’s jilted robber friends.

Together they create a situation where Flynn appears to betray Rapunzel for the crown, and then Gothel rescues her from the thieves. The thieves aren’t privy to the second part of this plan, so while they and the unfortunate Flynn are shipped off to prison for a bout of hanging, Rapunzel goes sheepishly back to the tower with her “mother”.

However, Rapunzel has put various subliminal messages together and worked out that she is the missing princess. She angrily confronts Gothel with this information, who reacts as any reasonable parent would do: she chains her up and says this time she will take her away somewhere where they will never be found.

Flynn has also realised this and is broken out of prison by some chums they met on their adventure, dashing heroically back to the tower to save his lady love. However, after climbing up her hair, he is greeted with a knife in the back by Gothel.

As he lies dying, Rapunzel promises to let Gothel lock her up forever if she just lets her heal him. Amazingly, Gothel obliges, at least she would do if Flynn didn’t take a knife and cut Rapunzel’s magical hair off.

“I learnt this move from Mulan. Except the ‘dying’ bit.”

This makes Gothel rapidly age, trip rather suspiciously over the pet chameleon, tumble to her death out of the window and turn into a heap of ash. Flynn turns into a heap of hurt and expires, so Rapunzel has lost her hair, her guardian and her new boyfriend in one fell swoop. Wow, Disney, you really can be bastards sometimes.

Grimm version

Gothel finds out about Rapunzel’s affair in a way that is much less dramatic but much more hilarious, in a car-crash sort of way.

One day when she visits Rapunzel, the girl asks her why her clothes don’t seem to fit her anymore. While she is utterly mystified at her bulging abdomen, Gothel realises something is metaphorically cooking, and, disgusted at her actions, cuts off her long blonde hair and throws her out of the tower (not literally this time), effectively disowning her.

For some reason Gothel holds on to the hair, and when the prince turns up for another visit, she throws it down to him so he can climb up. When he arrives, she rudely tells him that his Rapunzel is long gone and he will never see her again. In his grief, the prince throws himself out of the tower window and loses his eyesight in the fall.

Although Disney Gothel is angry and inconvenienced by Rapunzel’s escape and her new boyfriend, this isn’t the revelation that makes her snap – it’s the fact that Rapunzel has discovered her true identity, and no amount of chiding or manipulation can change the girl’s mind. For Grimm’s Gothel, it’s Rapunzel’s pregnancy, the one condition she was presumably hoping to avoid by locking her in a tower from the age of 12. She is also much less brutal in admonishing the party responsible; although she does trick the prince with Rapunzel’s hair and speak rudely to him, it’s by the prince’s own volition that he injures himself.

The Gothels also react differently to the revelation – the Disney version wants to limit Rapunzel’s freedom even more than before, whereas the Grimm version can’t wait to be rid of her once she has broken her rules. Now the Grimm version is finally free, let’s see how her time outside the tower compares with Disney’s.

Life in the Wilderness

Disney version

Skipping back to a happier part of the story, as soon as Rapunzel’s feet touch the grass outside the tower she becomes deliriously happy and devastatingly guilt-ridden, depending on whether an odd or even number of minutes have passed. She soon decides that she likes the outside world, despite being afraid that hooligans and sharp-toothed men will jump out at her at any minute. Flynn decides to reassure her by taking her to an inn that is full of said hooligans and sharp-toothed men.

His plan to scare the girl home again backfires, because being part pure sunshine means that even the hardiest and villainous of ruffians can’t resist engaging in a sing-a-long, talking about dreams and even baking you sublime cupcakes.

They also break your boyfriend out of prison thanks to a horse that’s either telepathic or versed in human sign language.

It’s not all pastries and parties though; soon after Rapunzel and Flynn are pursued by the royal guards, bringing down a dam in the process and ending up trapped in a flooding cave. Fortunately, Rapunzel remembers her hair glows when she sings  and this allows them to find the way out, as well as heal Flynn’s hand and utterly blow his mind.

Even Flynn’s most relentless pursuer, Maximus, said awesome horse who puts the entire army to shame, can’t resist Rapunzel and grudgingly agrees to call off his pursuit for 24 hours while they visit the lights. The three then find themselves bonding while shopping, dancing or eating apples (whichever is appropriate) in the main town before Flynn rows his lady love out on to the lake to watch the lights. Maximus, left behind with a sack of apples, is later able to warn their ruffian chums about Gothel and also rescue Flynn from prison, so Rapunzel’s influence seems to have affected everyone around her. What’s more, various signs around the town have left their mark on Rapunzel and allow her to piece together her origin.

Given that Disney Rapunzel has left the tower of her own choice rather than being thrown out for joining a certain club, it’s beyond evident that Grimm’s Rapunzel is not going to have so jolly a time, and likewise her prince.

Grimm version

Homeless, pregnant, with no real life experience and a bad hair cut, Rapunzel has a rough time alone in the woods. However, she must have salvaged her survival instinct from somewhere, as she is able to give birth to and look after a pair of twins. This is also without the help of any fairies, so take that, Sleeping Beauty.

The prince has an even worse time of it; injured in the fall and now blind, he now literally rather than metaphorically eats shoots and leaves everyday as he stumbles through the woods, mourning his lost love.

To inject more action into the film, Disney make Rapunzel leave the tower early on in the story, and life on the outside is both challenging, exciting and rewarding for her, mainly due to her inherent sunshine power. Although the reverse is true for Grimm’s Rapunzel, she is still able to survive despite her confinement and condition, and so both Rapunzels beat the odds by being able to take care of themselves without their guardian, growing up in the process. Both Flynn and the prince end up inconvenienced, either by knife or self-inflicted injury, after Rapunzel has left the tower, but this time it’s our respective ladies to the rescue.

Family Reunion

Disney version

Now that Rapunzel’s hair has been cut, she no longer has the power to heal Flynn – or so she thinks. A tear drops on to his face, and for some reason this proves to be just as powerful as her hair, reviving him.

Finally free of Gothel and reunited with her true love, Rapunzel now only has one last task – to double check that she is actually the lost princess and to meet her real parents.

“Thank you for finding our daughter. And, er, sorry about the execution thing.”

For an equally unknown reason, Flynn is allowed back into the kingdom with Rapunzel and even granted access to the palace. The king and queen swarm her, recognising her as their daughter despite the lack of long golden locks, and the entire town rejoices for several days.

Several of the loveable ruffians find new and respectable jobs in the kingdom, and thanks to Maximus, the crime rate plummets, showing that a good ruler always makes their horse a public official.

Eventually, Rapunzel and Flynn (now known by his real name, Eugene) get married and live happily ever after.

Pictured on the right: the town’s peeping tom.

Grimm version

Rapunzel, by Simon Kozhin

It turns out that the prince has a better ear than his lover, because several years later, while stumbling through the forest, he hears and recognises Rapunzel’s voice.

Rapunzel goes to him and her tears of joy restore his eyesight to as good as before.

That’s all you’re getting from the original, so we don’t know if the prince is happy or mortified at the sudden appearance of their two children. But we can probably assume the reception the couple gave each other afterwards.

The original therefore clarifies a rather contrived plot point in the Disney film – Rapunzel’s tears are enough to restore eyesight or bring someone back to life.

Sorry Simba, you’re just not magical enough.

Both families are also reunited happily ever after, but this happens sooner rather than later in the Disney version. Rapunzel’s return also affects the entire kingdom, whereas in the Grimm version, she, the prince and her children are very much alone and isolated in their group, in a decidedly non-extravagant setting. All they have is each other, but the implication is that this is all that they need.

Conclusion

Rapunzel is one of those fairy tales where bugger all really happens, so it’s no surprise that Disney decided to add more fantastical elements and action. In addition, there is more of a clue as to Rapunzel and Gothel’s motivations and feelings; Rapunzel is your average intelligent teenage girl verging on adulthood who wants to test her boundaries, and Gothel tries to keep her confined, both mentally and physically, in order to exploit her power (although what she does with her eternal youth is never fully explained). The love interest roles are also reversed, in that Rapunzel is the royal figure and Flynn is the peasant who sometimes needs rescuing. Regardless of their situations, neither character allows themselves to be a victim or dwell on the negatives, and this allows them to attain their respective dreams. The more severe version of Gothel is therefore a counterbalance to this success, and another example of Disney making their version slightly darker than the original.

Grimm’s Rapunzel is more about taking responsibility for your actions, albeit the parents stealing the rapunzel in the first place, or Rapunzel keeping her torrid love affair from the fairy. It is also about the effects of love, as the prince tries to kill himself when he finds out Rapunzel is gone, and his lover’s tears restore him again. Their relationship is also what makes Rapunzel break Gothel’s rules in the first place. However, by enduring through pain and tough times all by themselves, they are rewarded with happiness.

In essence, both versions of the story are about rebellion being a natural part of growing up. Each Rapunzel is a teenage girl who breaks a set of firmly defined rules due to her own curiosity. Despite her inexperience, and the disapproval of her parental guardian, she triumphs over adversity and in the end attains what she (presumably) wants out of life, simply by relying on herself and her own strength. This in turn helps those around her, especially the people she loves.

We can therefore conclude that you should never be afraid to spread your wings and try new experiences, as you are more than likely capable of handling any situation.

Even on a bad hair day.

Sources

1) Tangled, 2010. Film. Directed by Nathan Greno and Byron Howard, U.S.A. Walt Disney Pictures.

2) Ashliman, D.L., Rapunzel by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, a comparison of the versions of 1812 and 1857, 2000, http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm012a.html

3) Connolly, Kate, 2012, Grimm’s Fairy Tales: 200th anniversary triggers a year of celebration, http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/dec/19/grimm-brothers-anniversary-german-culture

4)  Davis, John K., The Origin and History of Rapunzel, 2009, http://suite101.com/article/the-origin-and-history-of-rapunzel-a148496

5) Grade, Ananda, The Brothers Grimm: Freaks or visionaries? 2012, http://www.dw.de/the-brothers-grimm-freaks-or-visionaries/a-16465915

6) Header image: http://static.zerochan.net/Rapunzel.%28Character%29.full.1150659.jpg

It’s not just the source text that requires Disney to tweak their stories, either for the sake of cinema, or to avoid reducing their average audience to a quivering mess of tears and denial. Mother Nature is just as guilty a party here, and since there are some great Disney films that I can’t include in the main theme of this blog, I thought I would add a couple of entries focusing on their portrayal of animals and how true they are to life.

I’ll be looking at the species of the main characters only, and, as an obvious disclaimer, I am well aware that animals can’t really talk/use magic/choreograph big musical numbers. This is solely to compare their behaviours and diet etc. as animals.

Let’s start with the (in my opinion) underrated Brother Bear.

Synopsis

When a bear kills his oldest brother, Sidka, Kenai the hunter seeks revenge by ramming a spear through its chest. The spirit of Sidka – embodied by the northern lights – responds by changing him into a bear, either for a laugh or to teach him about perspective. While travelling to the home of the spirits to ask for his human form back, Kenai comes across a cub named Koda who has lost his mother. He was heading to the yearly salmon run, and since this is in the direction of Kenai’s destination, the older bear grudgingly agrees to let him tag along.

They form a close bond in between being hunted by Kenai’s remaining human brother, Denahi, but when they reach the congregation of bears at the salmon run, Kenai finds out that the one he killed was actually Koda’s mother. Unsurprisingly, Koda isn’t impressed at this news and runs away, but later returns having forgiven him, just in time to save Kenai from being speared by Denahi. Then Sidka and the other spirits intervene, and Kenai agrees to remain a bear as penance and to look after Koda. Koda is briefly reunited with his mother’s spirit, and then all four brothers, human, spirit and bear, make amends and live in peace with one another.

Aside from all the spirit magic, would things have been much different if Kenai had been a real bear?

What They Got Right

Food

The first thing on Kenai’s to-do list would have been to eat a shed load of food. Bears are such badasses that if they don’t get enough, they’ll effectively start eating themselves – they can lose a staggering 1,000,000 calories during hibernation, so most of their time has to be spent stuffing their gullet with berries, nuts and of course salmon, which our main characters are seen  eating throughout the film. Fresh meat can also form a key part of their diet, and there is an allusion to this too - moose brothers Rutt and Tuke are initially terrified of Kenai in case he devours them on sight, which is a reasonable length to go to to stop their annoying banter.

In fact, the largest recorded bears are the ones whose diet consists primarily of meat, sometimes even other bears, so Kenai’s reaction to meeting Tug is also entirely accurate.

Family Life

“Ugh, no good. Get Mamma’s pryin’ broom.”

As for Koda, he’s lost his mother and is all by himself. Father fail?

No, not really. Bears are serially monogamous, so they only enjoy one booty call at a time during mating season, but the males don’t stick around for the aftermath. If they do hang around their cubs, it’s for another reason entirely, which I’ll touch upon later.

True to form, in Brother Bear we never see a mother, father and cub unit at any point in the film, even during the montage at the salmon run. However, mother bears are extremely protective of their offspring and Koda’s is no exception, dealing out not one but two hunter smack-downs during the course of the film.

This brings us to one of the main aspects of the story.

Human and Bear Relations

Unlike humans, bears will only really attack humans if threatened, protecting their young or starving – they don’t have a designated “let’s stuff our face with people” season. Having said this, they’re not the kind of animals you want to walk side by side with. A case in point is the story of Timothy Treadwell.

A word to the wise: be careful searching for “Timothy Treadwell” on Google images. Even on a safe search I came across some very graphic images, and let’s just say they weren’t exactly the “bow-chick-a-wow-wow” type.

A self-proclaimed “custodian” of grizzly bears, he lived periodically in the wilderness in Alaska, studying and even interacting with the bears, occasionally bringing his girlfriend Amie along. Although there was an ominous feeling to the bears’ presence, there was little outright aggression from the animals, but in 2003, Timothy and his girlfriend were both killed in a bear attack. It’s assumed that the bear shown in the last few hours of footage – which had failed to catch enough salmon and was starving hungry – was responsible, so we’re not really talking about Steve Irwin levels of danger here. Regardless, they were in close proximity to the bear and in its territory, and opinion is divided as to whether this was too much of an intrusion.

Simply put, normally Mr. Bear won’t deliberately come to get you.

Not required.

The same is true of Koda’s mother – she only fights because (human) Kenai keeps poking her with an unwanted stick, and he actively seeks her out both times.

What’s more, despite the film’s ending, we only see Kenai and Koda among the human tribe during the celebration. This courtesy hasn’t been extended to the other bears, and so this reinforces the message of humans and bears living peacefully, but also entirely separately, which is surprisingly realistic for a film about spirits turning people into animals and moose hitching a ride on a mammoth.

We’re doing well so far, but there are a couple of points that raise an eyebrow.

What They Got Away With

Kenai and Koda

To Mr. Bear, a cub means a light snack followed by a much improved chance of boning Mrs. Bear. This is one of the reasons why most cubs don’t reach adulthood, so in any other situation Koda would be flattened in as much time as it takes him to form a boastful story about it.

However, Disney get a free pass here because Kenai was originally a human, and since we can assume he wasn’t equally as adept at killing the children of his own tribe, there would be no reason for him to attack Koda.

On a more tenuous note, sub-adult siblings will sometimes travel together, so if Kenai and Koda were genuinely “bros” then this would also be possible.

Kenai’s human origin also explains such behaviour as helping hunters (to a point) and the aforementioned mammoth riding. However, this doesn’t excuse the behaviour of the other bears.

Brown Bears in Mist, Russia, by Michael Melford

What takes the 

That song. You know which one I mean.

If not, you can “enjoy it” here.

While it’s true that brown bears congregate at the salmon run each year,  singing a song about how they are one happy family that share their fish is a step too far. Why?

Social Behaviour

Despite the sheer abundance of salmon, there is fierce competition for the best fishing spot. Or indeed, any fishing spot whatsoever.

Imagine for instance turning up to the only restaurant in town to find that every single table is reserved, and if you go home, you’ll die of starvation (see the Bear Weight-Loss Plan above). If you so much as walk past another person at their table you’ll likely get a smack round the chops, and if you dare ask when they’ll be going, on a good day you’ll be laughed off the premises, and on a bad day you’ll end up staring at the ceiling with a broken jaw and no teeth left. That’s if the restaurant even let you in in the first place without punching you in the head.

Brown bears face a similar dilemma at the salmon run. Large adult males are at the top of the hierarchy, usually followed by mother bears and their mouthy teenage offpsring, and some bears aren’t even allowed to go near the run at all at the risk of an intense slap-o-rama or full on brawl.

Image by Charles Glatzer

There’s also the aforementioned risk of cubs, a.k.a. entrées, being snapped up by the larger bears if mum doesn’t pay attention. There’s no way that Koda would have survived an encounter with Tug, who we’ve established must be so huge because he has eaten a crap-load of meat.

Plus it’s an awful, awful song.

Conclusion

Brother Bear actually ticks most of the boxes for bear behaviour. They are portrayed as solitary, there are no family units, they eat the right types of food and they do gather to fatten up on salmon. In addition, the relationship between bears and humans is realistic – they won’t bother each other if kept separate, and will usually only attack in defence or to protect their young. The fact that the film reinforces this message by only having Kenai and Koda meet the human tribe, rather than having all the bears and humans mix, is one of the reasons why I think this film is underrated; Disney aren’t known for their subtlety with these kinds of messages.

Any bizarre behaviour is also explained away by Kenai having been turned from a human into a bear. And, you know, by it being a children’s film.

Regarding the salmon run scene, Disney could have made this a comedic struggle between the bears to get the best fishing spot, or Kenai could have been challenged to an epic battle to prove his worth among the others. Instead they show them coming together to swap stories, without any punch-ups or baby-eating, to soften the blow when Kenai decides to remain in his animal form for the rest of his life – it looks so much fun we want him to stay as a bear. But given that most people would swap a life of weaving fish baskets and sibling rivalry for one where you get to stuff your face with food, sleep for half the year and then wake up for the odd sexy liaison, this probably wasn’t necessary.

Accuracy Rating: 7/10

Sources

1) Brother Bear, 2003. Film. Directed by Aaron Blaise and Robert Walker, U.S.A. Walt Disney Pictures.

2) Uhlenbroek, Charlotte, Animal Life: The Definitive Visual Guide to Animals and their Behaviour. Dorling Kindersley, Great Britain, 2008. ISBN: 978 1 4053 22157

3) The Life of Mammals, television programme, British Broadcasting Corporation, England, 2002.

4) Stornorov, Derek and Stokes, Allen W., Social Behaviour of the Alaskan Brown Bear (unknown year), Department of Wildlife Resources, Utah State University. http://www.bearbiology.com/fileadmin/tpl/Downloads/URSUS/Vol_2/Stonorov_Stokes.pdf

5) Grizzly Man, 2005. Film. Directed by Werner Herzog. Lions Gate Films.

6) http://beartrust.org/brown-bear

7) Header image: Grizzly bear and cub by James Galletto http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/wallpaper/photography/photos/animal-mothers-babies/grizzly-bear-greeting/

Long ago, on an untouched Earth, giant lizard-like animals walked, grazed and hunted in their millions. Can you imagine a more awesome sight?

Disney couldn’t, hence their first non-Pixar CGI project: Dinosaur, a computer-animated film that integrates CGI characters with real life photography and footage. To make sure it was as convincing as possible, Disney dropped songs, showed some wounds and even dinosaur meat during the film, and very nearly kept the characters mute in a documentary style. With this in mind, you would think the rest of the details would be as true to life. And therein lies the problem.

Dinosaur films are notorious for bending the rules of timescales, their behaviour and even appearance, the main reason being that the only “facts” rely on whichever remains are available for study at the time, as well as whichever theories are currently doing the rounds. This can change year on year and even month on month as new discoveries are unearthed, so to a point it’s unfair to expect any film to be able to keep up.

This might sound like Disney have carte blanche to do what they like here, but even with the above there are some well established facts and theories that, sadly, were just as ignored as the film was. (Seriously, people, it’s dinosaurs. What’s wrong with you all?! End rant.)

Disclaimer: As with the previous entry, I’m not referring to the fact that the dinosaurs can all talk. This is about comparing their behaviour and other traits with what we believe they were like at the time of writing.

Synopsis

Millions of years ago, in what one could call a land before time, an Iguanodon egg is separated from its nest and dropped on a remote offshore island. A family of lemurs hatch the egg and decide to raise the baby inside, naming him Aladar, and together they live for many peaceful years in their mini tropical paradise. Unfortunately, this all comes to a grinding halt when the infamous comet falls from the sky, destroying their island and forcing the adult Aladar to ferry them across to the mainland on his back. On arrival, they find it’s full of deserts, vicious Velociraptors and other carnivores. Luckily they also come across a herd of veggie-loving dinosaurs who are heading to the safety of the Great Valley Nesting Grounds, and decide to join up with them on their dino road trip.

The leader of the herd is a big gruff Iguanodon named Kron who takes Darwinism to an extreme even before it’s invented – if you can’t keep up with the herd or get injured, it’s your funeral, literally. This is at odds with Aladar and the lemurs’ caring mentality, and so they end up pally with Baylene, Eema and Url, older dregs of the herd who are having trouble on their journey. Eventually, Aladar’s indomitable spirit, even in the face of vicious Carnotaurs, wins the hearts of the rest of the herd as well as Kron’s sister, Neera, resulting in a showdown with Kron (if you can call a bit of shoving about a “showdown”) and him guiding the herd back to the safety of the Nesting Grounds via a safer route, resulting in the unintentional deaths of Kron and the last Carnotaur on their trail. Once at the Nesting Grounds, it’s babies galore, followed by a hopeful voiceover about the future.

At least their optimism didn’t go extinct.

What They Got Right

Eema, Url and “Pompadour”

The comet that ended the dinosaurs’ reign struck the Gulf of Mexico about 65 milion years ago, which places Dinosaur during the Late Cretaceous period in Earth’s history. During this time,  Styracosaurus, Ankylosaurus and Parasaurolophus were all doing their respective dinosaur things in what is now North America, and may even have mixed occasionally.

Probably to out-ugly eachother.

The Iguanodon Herd

Iguanodon, by Raul-Martin

Iguanodon were like the rabbits of the Early Cretaceous period, at least in numbers. They were found pretty much everywhere, and their bones were often discovered in large groups. Conventional wisdom holds that this wasn’t due to some mass cult suicide and that they must have therefore formed herds when grazing and travelling.

The Lemur Family

Another social arrangement true to life is that of the lemurs – specifically, a group of Verreaux’s sifakas. Plio is the mother and implied leader of the troop (not that this counts a jot when the comet hits and she absconds with her nearest and dearest), and the courtship dance, spectacularly failed by Zini, takes place annually: sifakas are matriarchal and only breed once a year. They must save a fortune on contraception.

I’m guessing if you have any knowledge about dinosaurs you can already see the (decidedly small and furry) elephant in the room, but first let’s look at some of the things we can let Disney off the hook for.

What They Got Away With

Life After the Comet

Given the sudden drop off of dinosaurs (in evolutionary terms), and the high amount of iridium found in rocks during this period, the comet is considered the prime if not only suspect of the Cretaceous-Tertiary extinction. In which case, you may be wondering why the Nesting Grounds appears untouched and why plenty of animals seem to be alive and well during the film. The impact certainly finished off a great deal of them, but for the rest it was only the beginning of the end – there is no accurate indication of how long it took for the dinosaurs to die out afterwards. It could have taken days, months, weeks, even hundreds of years or more, so life did still go on during this time. Basically, Disney get a free pass here because we honestly don’t know the answer yet.

Featherless Foes

I don’t know about you, but I think this chap looks even creepier with feathers.

It’s now generally accepted that most predators like Velociraptor and Tyrannosaurus had feathers for insulation, but this is a very recent theory and one that wasn’t fully recognised when Dinosaur was in production (between 1996 and 2000). Also, they had enough trouble rendering the grass and the lemurs’ fur, so I don’t think we should begrudge them a couple of dino headdresses.

Feathers weren’t the only omission in the designs.

Iguanodon Beaks

Dinosaurs in the Iguanodon family eventually gave way to the duck-bills, and so they had jaws ending in a beak. This was removed from the design for Dinosaur due to expression and animation constraints. On the Collector’s Edition DVD there is some test footage of this but it makes the characters look like they only ever have one expression, as if after a bad facelift. As far as we know they didn’t have eyebrows or eyelashes either, so you can understand why Disney made this tweak.

Ah. It seems I was being a bit generous with “things” (plural) we can let slide, because a good deal of the other changes aren’t quite so forgiveable.  Have you got 65 million hours to spare?

What takes the 

The Velociraptors

Thanks to Jurassic Park, any mention of Velociraptors being smaller and spindlier than their kitchen-stalking counterparts makes people clap their hands over their ears and shout loudly (or yawn loudly, but if that’s you then you probably shouldn’t be reading this post). The truth is, they were about the size of wolves, but Disney have gone and made them even larger – up to about 10ft high compared to Jurassic Park‘s now modest 6ft. This is even sillier considering that there actually is a type of raptor about this size. Known as Utahraptor, it was discovered while Jurassic Park was being filmed, so unlike with this film Disney had no excuse not to use it instead of Velociraptor, especially as Utahraptor was found in the U.S. and Velociraptor only rampaged across Mongolia and other parts of Asia. You’ll notice that geography isn’t Disney’s strong point either.

Carnotaur-U.S.

On the one hand, props to them for choosing such an awesome (and until then unknown) carnivore for their villain. Carnotaurus really did have horns like that – its name means “meat-eating bull” – and it’s a refreshing change from good old T-Rex. However, its killing ground was in fact Argentina and other parts of Central and South America.

At one point Kron does mention that Carnotaurs “never come this far north” and his lieutenant Bruton chimes in that the “fireball must have driven them out”, but this doesn’t account for the one that attacks Aladar’s mother in the Nesting Grounds at the beginning of the film. The way it attacks its prey is also up for debate, as we’ll see from the next point.

Charge of the Bite Brigade

(Sorry.)

Thanks to Kron’s stubborn direction, the herd ends up cornered in a ravine with a hungry Carnotaur at the other end of it. The dinosaurs panic as the carnivore rushes towards them, which makes no sense on two fronts. First of all, the herd is cornered, so a leisurely pace would be equally as effective at catching prey. Secondly, notice how some of the dinosaurs have spikes and horns? If a predator had rushed them like this, this is what would have likely happened:

It’s possible that such stupidity made Carnotaurus extinct, but despite Kron’s objections it doesn’t look like the weak or idiotic dinosaurs come a cropper at all.

Badass Baby Iguanodons

During the march we see no less than two dinosaurs drop down dead from exhaustion, and Eema almost succumbs when they don’t get enough water at the halfway point. These are all adults who have presumably made the trip before, but these two baby Iguanodons trump them entirely. Even before Neera decides to help them, they manage to keep up with the herd, are somehow the first dinosaurs to reach the dried up lake, and the absolute last dinosaurs to have a drink of water.

If you are an uber dinosaur geek like me then you have no doubt noticed some other discrepancies in the film after looking at the composition of said herd. If not, then sit up straight and you may learn something. You never know, it might come up in a pub quiz or something.

The Fallacious Cretaceous

As I mentioned earlier, the comet shows that the events of the film take place near the Cretaceous-Tertiary boundary, or K-T boundary, 65 million years ago. This represents only a tiny part of the dinosaurs’ reign; they lived on Earth for about 140 million years in total, and in that time there were various species with various adaptations.

To help get your (and my) head around the timescale involved, imagine that every single person in Greater London or New York City represents one year. Now imagine 8 Greater Londons or New York Cities. That number of years takes you back to the time of the comet and the K-T boundary, i.e. the Late Cretaceous period.

Now, this motley crew,

Iguanodon	Pachyrhinosaurus	Stygimoloch
Pteranodon	Carnotaurus	Microceratops
Oviraptor

were, long, long dead before the comet hit. They all hail from the Early-Mid Cretaceous period, up to 80 million years before the beforehand, ergo, 18 Greater Londons or New York cities ago.

And the last two were from Mongolia, so yet another geography fail.

An even (literally) bigger offender is Baylene, the second most amazing CGI Brachiosaur.

She is “the last of her kind”, which is good going considering the rest of her species died out about 100 million years earlier, i.e. 27 Greater Londons or New York Cities ago. The gap between Baylene and the comet is also more than twice the gap between it and us. So saying it’s okay because she’s the last one is like saying there could be a real life T-Rex among the other animals at your local zoo, probably in the cage next to the aforementioned elephant in the room:

The Lemurs

Sifakas, leaping superfluously into a dinosaur movie near you!

This…is an odd choice for a family unit. I understand the idea of having some kind of mammal in the story that the audience can relate to, but a lemur? A mouse, possum or even a raccoon-like creature would be nearer the mark as there were similar mammals scurrying about at the dinosaurs’ feet in this period, but a primate makes no sense this far back in the fossil record. The sifakas also look like modern-day sifakas, so we’re not dealing with a more primitive species here either. It’s one thing to bung lots of dinosaurs together from different periods, but inserting a modern day creature into a film that was only a few steps away from being a prehistoric documentary smacks of laziness, or Disney were more lax with their research than first thought.

Not only is the time difference between the first ever primates and the comet about 7 Greater Londons or New York Cities, but between the primates and Aladar it’s about 11. Again, more than the gap between the comet and us.

Since we’re dealing with gargantuan numbers it’s all too easy to dismiss it as “eh, it’s pretty much the same”, but imagine if the person doling out your Lottery winnings had the same opinion. These animals didn’t coexist and to say so makes the story about as realistic as the Flintstones.

Conclusion

As far as social behaviour goes, Disney have stuck to the accepted theories about dinosaurs and also read up about sifakas. A couple of designs have understandably been tweaked, and there are a couple of points where their guess is about as good as any other. This is not the case for pretty much everything else.

When it comes to time periods, Disney are no further forward than their earlier rendition of dinosaurs in Fantasia. There seem to be two distinct groups – one from the Late Cretaceous when the comet struck, and another from the Early Cretaceous, as if they researched both periods independently and assiduously and then gave up and decided to throw them into the mix. It would have been so easy to just remove one group and/or the comet and make the story much more accurate, but instead they toss in a bunch of lemurs as well.

To be fair, this has been the crime of virtually every dinosaur film ever put to celluloid. Outside of younger children, an interest in dinosaurs is quite niche (as an example, when I announced I was doing my MA dissertation on palaeontology everyone laughed. Seriously.) and so to attract as wide an audience as possible they will throw the most popular and recognisable dinosaurs together. But Disney have also chosen some lesser known species, and every effort seems to have been made to shoot a film that looks realistic and portrays dinosaurs as they were. In the end, this suggests an Aladar-Kron-like struggle over realism versus marketability.

In short, Dinosaur is like the infamous shot of Nessie. It looks real, but if you go a bit deeper you’ll find one person trying to act convincingly while the other is using it to sell tickets.

Accuracy Rating: 3/10

Sources

1) Dinosaur, 2000. Film. Directed by Eric Leighton and Ralph Zondag, U.S.A. Walt Disney Pictures.

2) Brusatte, Steve. Dinosaurs.Quercus, 2008 (Great Britain). ISBN: 978-1-84724-286-6

3) Gardon, Tim and Milner, Angela. The Natural History Museum Book of Dinosaurs. Carlton, no year (Great Britain). ISBN: 1-85227-486-7

4) Haines, Tim. Walking With Dinosaurs: A Natural History. BBC, 1999 (Great Britain). ISBN: 0-563-38449-2

5) Mehlling, Carl. Dinosaurs and Other Prehistoric Animals. 3C Publishing Ltd, 2009 (Great Britain). ISBN-13: 978-1-906842-0301

6) Norman, David. The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Dinosaurs. Salamander Books, 1985 (Great Britain). ISBN: 0-86101-225-9

7) Parker, Steve. The Complete Book of Dinosaurs. Apple Press, 2004 (Great Britain). ISBN: 1-84092-456-X

8) Walking With Dinosaurs, television programme, British Broadcasting Corporation, England, 1999.

9) http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/accounts/Propithecus_verreauxi/

10) http://www.nyc.gov/html/dcp/html/census/popcur.shtml

11) http://www.londonhigher.ac.uk/population.html

12) http://science.nationalgeographic.co.uk/science/prehistoric-world/prehistoric-time-line/

13) Header image: http://walkingwithdinos.wikia.com/wiki/Iguanodon?file=Image4_-_Copy.jpg

Another captain known for annoying “hot alien babes”.

To give as balanced a view as possible, I have therefore picked out four works about the life of Pocahontas – two from each side of the cultural fence – and will try to focus on the points they all agree on as well as any they mention independently of one another. Although this still might not constitute “the truth”, it should give enough of a contrast with the Disney version and an idea as to what may have really happened.

In the Red Corner we have Pocahontas, the Life and the Legend by Frances Mossiker, a historical biography that leans more towards romanticisation and drama and takes Smith at his word while also poking fun at some of his more outrageous claims.

We also have Love and Hate in Jamestown: John Smith, Pocahontas, and the Heart of a New Nation by journalist David A. Price, which focuses on the first English settlers in Virginia and like Mossiker seems to take Smith at his word for the most part.

In the Blue Corner, we have Pocahontas, Powhatan, Opechancanough – Three Indian Lives Changed by Jamestown by Helen Rountree, Professor Emerita of Anthropology at Old Dominion University. As well as growing up in Virginia itself, she has written various works about the Native American people and has written this book as an “insider’s view” of the English ‘strangers’. Disney actually approached her as a consultant on the film, an offer she “flatly refused”.

 And finally, the most recent and perhaps controversial work in terms of its different content, we have The True Story of Pocahontas: The Other Side of History by Dr. Linwood “Little Bear” Custalow and Angela L. Daniel “Silver Star”. This is the unpublished oral history of the Mattaponi tribe, who formed part of the original Powhatan chiefdom in the 17th Century.  This time it was apparently Disney who rebuffed the offer of consultation.

Although the film ends with the departure of John Smith, this only constitutes half of Pocahontas’ full story, so as with Hercules I will be going through the scenes of the film and comparing them with the relevant parts of history.

So, without further ado, let’s look at why Disney’s Pocahontas made the Powhatan Nation curse with all the colours of the wind.

The Main Figures

Disney version

Playful, spiritual, and fond of diving off suicidally high waterfalls (and surviving), Pocahontas is the beloved daughter of Chief Powhatan. She is curious and non-judgemental, to the point that she has no qualms about talking to a tree every day or taking a leap of faith with a group of settlers who like blowing things up. She also demonstrates wisdom beyond her years by thinking outside the box and standing on cliff-tops looking noble.

Our strangely angular hero is Captain John Smith, a famous explorer and “injun-killer” who also likes taking suicidal dives into water, albeit to save members of his crew. Although he initially thinks that the Indians are “savages” whose lives can be “improved” by English ways of life, he does allow himself to be corrected by Pocahontas and tries to fight for her people. He also brushes off danger and serious injuries as easily as Pocahontas’ hummingbird.

Chief Powhatan is a leader who is both traditional and open to new ideas. He doesn’t go charging off into battle at the drop of a hat, despite the opinion of his entourage, but he does want to see his daughter settle down and get married like everyone else. Pocahontas is especially dear to him as she reminds him of his late wife, and he will do anything for her, including choosing a hot warrior for her husband and stopping a war.

Governor Ratcliffe is our villain, which means he has to have an authentic English accent rather than a fake one. He is in charge of the search for gold and other riches in Virginia, and shamelessly enjoys fine food and lodgings while the other settlers – or “peasants” – dig up the land and do battle with the natives. This colony is his last chance to redeem himself and become even richer, so he won’t let anything get in his way, even if it means all-out war with the Indians.

Historical version

But, as you may have gathered from the peripheral details, the stories won’t stay on the same course for long.

A Virgin Land?

Disney version

In the year 1607, swarthy hero John Smith and his crew are headed on a long voyage to Virginia, at the behest of the Virginia Company of London, to retrieve the gold and riches they will no doubt find there (after all, the Spanish found some in South America, so how different can it be?). If they come across any Indians they have no qualms about killing them, so much so that they will even sing about it. However, they don’t deal as easily with a violent storm at sea. Timid crew member Thomas is thrown overboard but Smith dives heroically into the water to save him. Their bond stronger than ever, the English colonists feel they’ll have nothing to fear when they reach their destination.

Meanwhile, the Powhatan are celebrating the return of their chief and warriors after successfully battling their enemies, the Massawomecks. Chief Powhatan is eager to find his daughter, Pocahontas, as he wishes for her to marry the most impressive warrior in his collection, a serious and humourless young man named Kocoum. Pocahontas has been too busy riding waterfalls and thinking about a dream involving a spinning arrow to bother with things like marriage, and feels she is destined for another path.

Historical version

Smith’s map of Virginia from The Generall Historie of Virginia, New-England, and the Summer Isles. Minus the kill-bots.

Of the three sources that mention it (Custalow & Daniel only focus on the Powhatan), it’s agreed that the English did set out for Virginia to look for gold and create a settlement in the New World, and were likely ravaged by horrendous storms on the journey. They would have had “find passage to the Pacific”, “don’t offend the natives”, and “Christianise the Indians” on their to-do list as well, and Mossiker also throws in a request to find out what happened to the second failed colony at Roanoke that mysteriously disappeared.

After a pep-talk from Grandmother Willow, Pocahontas is able to hear the silently approaching sails of the English ship the Susan Constant, and goes to investigate these “strange clouds”. On the shore, Ratcliffe plants a British flag into the soil and orders his men to begin their search for gold. How? With a musical number, shovels and dynamite of course. Lots, and lots of dynamite.

For some reason this doesn’t perforate Pocahontas’ super-sensitive ear drums, but then again she is too engrossed in watching and following John Smith, who has volunteered to scout out the area for natives.

Someone has noticed the explosions though, as some of Powhatan’s men have been sent to observe the invaders. Kekata, the village shaman, foretells that these newcomers will ravage the land and resources, but rather than destroy them outright, Powhatan wants to know more about them. This only lasts until Namontack of the scouting party returns less one kneecap, after which the chief throws up his hands and sends for his warrior brothers for their own demonstration of badassery against the enemy.

Historical version

Image by Sidney E. King.

When this group of English settlers first arrived – in three ships instead of one – John Smith was in no position to scout out the area, mainly because he was under arrest and confined to the Susan Constant. This was officially due to an attempt at mutiny, but unofficially due to him losing a cock contest with one of the Jamestown “council” – a man named Wingfield (this is the chap Ratcliffe later helps him depose). Again, this is according to everyone except Custalow & Daniel who don’t go into specifics about the colonists.

Their first encounter with the natives was even more troublesome – one of the colonists was shot through the hand with an arrow on their landing at Cape Henry, but there were no serious injuries and their attackers left after being spooked by the colonists’ “thunder sticks”. Rather than being from Wahunsenaca’s town, however, these Indians would have been from other villages in the chiefdom, and due to invasions by the Spanish, would have opened a can of whoop-ass for any other foreigners that landed there.

All of our sources do mention the Delphic prophecy believed by the Powhatan people – that a tribe would arrive in the Chesapeake area and one day destroy them. This was why Wahunsenaca ordered the Chesapeake tribe eliminated, but even with this prophecy in mind, he decided to “wait and see” about the newly arrived English, even though they arrived via Chesapeake Bay and also fit the bill.

As for searching for gold, at least in real life the colonists’ method was more refined, in that they started panning the river rather than blowing up half the forest. However, the colonists were less enthused than those in the Disney film, as according to Price and Mossiker, as we saw earlier, many of them were “gentlemen” who couldn’t bring it upon themselves to do any hard labour whatsoever. Namontack was also treated considerably better – rather than being shot in the leg, he was sent back to London with some of the colonists to serve as an interpreter and scout for Wahunsenaca, and actually came back in one piece.

For reasons of simplicity, the film has reduced the number of ships and colonists, and goes straight to the natives of Powhatan’s village rather than those on the edge of the chiefdom. The Powhatan warriors also only end up in a fight because they object to an all out armageddon on their local neighbourhood trees and the English panic on sight. Smith’s arrest is however buried under the carpet, and the prophecy is  modified so that it specifically names the English as the troublesome tribe. Essentially, Smith and the Powhatan are softened again to show how they are different or to be more politically correct.

You may notice that Pocahontas hasn’t been mentioned much so far, but this is because she wasn’t yet involved in this part of history. So, let’s now move on to the axis of the Disney film, and one of the most controversial differences in the story.

Pocahontas and Captain John Smith

Disney version

FYI: This is not a good way to meet women.

Something about this blond adonis has intrigued Pocahontas, and so she silently tracks him through the woods as he scouts the perimeter. Smith catches a glimpse of what he believes to be a violent savage and readies his pistol, only to meet the gaze of a beautiful American Indian woman, standing solemnly in the mists of a waterfall.

Even Captain Smith wasn’t prepared for this, so he puts away his gun and asks her not to leave when she runs away. Fortunately, with the help of a tree, the wind, and a narrative stretch wider than the Atlantic, by taking each other’s hand the two can suddenly understand one another.

So that’s all you need to learn a language. That’s twelve years of my life. Wasted.

John Smith takes this opportunity to be an arrogant git and explain how he and his cohorts can “improve the lives of the savages” and help them to “use the land properly”. Pocahontas responds with an award-winning song that not only opens Smith’s eyes to the wonders of her world but also makes cliffs and waterfalls miraculously appear in the decided flat area of tidewater Virginia. The pair continue to meet in secret, with Grandmother Willow’s blessing, and as time passes, John Smith finds out that corn is the only “gold” to be found in Virginia, and that there is more to life than riches anyway.

Also, it would be rude to argue with a song like that.

Historical version

Pocahontas and John Smith, equally non-plussed at these rumours.

At their first encounter, rather than standing duskily in front of a waterfall, Pocahontas was more likely to have been enjoying a spot of naked cartwheeling.

This is according to Rountree and Custalow & Daniel, and I’d like to take this opportunity to reiterate Pocahontas’ age when John Smith first arrived (about 10). She would have only come across him when sent to Jamestown with her father’s entourage and priests, when they took food to the hapless colonists after being ingratiated into the Powhatan nation. However, this presents us with our first stalemate among the sources.

Price and Mossiker say that the first time the pair met was actually when Pocahontas was shielding Smith from Wahunsenaca’s club, in the most famous part of the legend. (I will discuss this in a later section.)

Regardless of how they first met, all sources except Mossiker agree that there was no romantic involvement between the two, either at this point or later on. Although the girl may well have helped John Smith learn some Algonquian words and therefore learn to better negotiate with her people, there is no evidence to suggest that Smith embraced her culture in any way.

The star-crossed lovers agree to try to talk each other’s people down, and share their first kiss under Grandmother Willow. Unfortunately, although said tree notices the intrusion of a hummingbird, a dog and raccoon, she doesn’t notice the fully armed Kocoum and Thomas approaching from opposite sides. Seeing Pocahontas kissing Smith, Kocoum flies into a rage and attacks, and Thomas ends up shooting him. Ironically, these two had followed their respective friends out of concern for their safety.

Smith is hauled away, and Thomas rushes back to the colony to warn the others of his capture. Pocahontas visits Smith in his “prison”, as he is due to be executed by Powhatan at dawn before the tribe launches a full on assault on the English. Even though their worst nightmares have come to pass, the pair are surprisingly calm, with Smith suddenly forgetting how to heroically escape from a scrape and Pocahontas forgetting to point out that, um, it wasn’t actually Smith who killed Kocoum.

Historical version

John Smith captured, by Fortunino Matania

First of all, John Smith was captured by the Powhatan before he even met Pocahontas.

Smith and several other colonists had been travelling up and down the James River hoping to trade with the natives for corn; “free-loading” off the natives was seen as preferable to foraging for themselves, as they had no idea how to live off the land, an opinion expressed by all of the sources. However, after various skirmishes on both sides, it seemed Smith was outstaying his welcome, and so one of Wahunsenaca’s younger brothers, Opechanconough, himself a chief, decided to rein him in for a closer look and to present him to Wahunsenaca in person. He also took him for a quick tour around the chiefdom to double check with the other tribes that he wasn’t one of those pesky Spanish who had been terrorising the area.

After four days’ custody, during which Smith told Wahunsenaca that the English were only in his lands to recover from an attack by the Spanish, and dodging the question of a permanent settlement, the paramount chief decided to fully commit to an alliance with his people and released him. During his custody, Smith was stuffed full of food and all sources agree he was treated well, as he would have been if he were a potential member of the Powhatan chiefdom. They also say that, in exchange for weapons and other goods, Wahunsenaca also promised him a settlement at Capahowasick, which had better soil, water and food resources than their marshy, mosquitoey home at Jamestown.

Secondly, Custalow & Daniel say that Kocoum was killed much later on, after Pocahontas was kidnapped by the English a few years later.

However, Custalow & Daniel are the exception in dismissing that Pocahontas warned Smith about an attack on the English. A few months into the “alliance” between the Powhatan and the English, things had started to go downhill, mainly due to Smith’s reluctance to trade or give weapons to the other side despite promising to do so in exchange for food, and the beginning of strong-arm tactics on the side of the English to get more food when it was refused. Fed up of his work-shy freeloading “adopted son”, Wahunsenaca was planning to ambush Smith one night after supper, but Pocahontas snuck away to warn him of the danger. Rountree concedes this may have happened, but says to say Smith only survived thanks to her warning was nonsense, as he had already been ominously surrounded by Powhatan warriors that very afternoon during a less successful negotiation with Wahunsenaca, and was well aware of how the situation could turn out.

It seems that Smith wasn’t captured in order to be punished for killing a member of the tribe (although this had happened), but so that the paramount chief could get a better look at him and see what his real intentions were, and then ideally relocate him to an area within the chiefdom in exchange for goods. Pocahontas was not at all involved in this and neither was Kocoum, but Pocahontas may well have snuck out of her village to warn Smith about a possible attack on his people. This sets up the scene that most people think of when they hear the name “Pocahontas”, so did this have any basis in reality?

The Rescue

Disney version 

For some reason Grandmother Willow is not the least bit concerned that she could have prevented the aforementioned tussle, and is content to listen to Pocahontas admonish herself for choosing the wrong path. However, the young woman suddenly remembers the compass that Smith gave her during one of his visits, and links this with the spinning arrow in her dream. Realising it’s her destiny to save him and be with him, Pocahontas dashes back to her village hoping to halt Smith’s execution.

At the same time, Ratcliffe and the other settlers are marching off to retrieve their lost companion, and presumably bag some gold during the massacre. Their war cries are echoed by the Powhatan as they bring out their prisoner and prepare for battle themselves. Smith is dragged out on to a cliff in front of Chief Powhatan, and just as he readies to smash his head with his club, Pocahontas lunges into the fray and shields him. If that weren’t enough of a shock to her people, she also declares her love for Smith.

“Will it be like this for all my boyfriends, Father?”

Both the English and the Powhatan hesitate, and then the chief, both chided and impressed by his daughter’s intervention, delivers a peace declaration that we must assume the settlers can understand as well, as they realise that the Indians don’t want to fight. Of course, Ratcliffe is having none of this, and after throwing his toys out of the pram takes aim at Powhatan. Smith dives into the way and takes the bullet, causing the rest of the settlers to turn on the governor and send him home in shackles, while the Indians and the English put down their weapons and decide to play nicely.

“Don’t fire, lads, wait until the crazy man finishes his speech.”

Historical version

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to stalemate number two.

Price’s version of the rescue matches Disney’s, in that Smith was to be executed, but Pocahontas threw herself in the way of her father’s club, after which Wahunsenaca relented and extended his hand in friendship. Our other sources are far more diplomatic or scathing.

Mossiker concedes that this event did occur, but that what Smith experienced was simply play-acting – part of an adoption ritual among the Powhatan people, and so his life never really was in danger at all. To be fair, if you were in a foreign country where you barely understood anyone, were separated from your cohorts and then asked to put your head on a rock in front of an imposing authority figure with a club, you’d hardly think you were suddenly one of the family.

Rountree and Custalow & Daniel, on the other hand, argue that this was not an adoption ritual of the Powhatan people, and Smith would also be far less useful an ally with half his head missing, so why kill him? Rountree goes even further and points out that Smith seems to have had a knack for being rescued by the chief’s daughter, as it also apparently happened to him in the Russian steppes and in Turkey. Simply put, they say it didn’t happen at all, and that as a 10 year-old girl, Pocahontas would not have been anywhere near Smith when he was captured and brought before Wahunsenaca – at the most she would have been elsewhere helping prepare food for the feast afterwards. It also seems strange that Smith didn’t mention this game-changing event until many years after the fact, despite writing several accounts about Virginia in the interim.

We can dismiss the idea of Smith catching a bullet for Chief Powhatan, as not even he mentions it in his writings, but he did have a compass that apparently helped wow Opechancanough into believing he was a person of importance among the English, at least according to everyone except Custalow & Daniel. Such importance may have been magnified even then, because the real Smith didn’t have the benefit of an approaching army of allies, or anyone else attempting to rescue him from captivity, and in fact relations with his own people had begun to worsen during his absence.

At least he didn’t share Ratcliffe’s fate, who according to Price was skinned and then burnt alive later on when relations between the Powhatan and the English had plummeted even further.

To give a more politically correct version of events, Disney have made both Pocahontas and John Smith risk their lives to save the leader of the opposition, and tied in the legendary “rescue” with their love affair. To give the story a bigger climax they also have the armies marching towards one another, and use the compass as a way of combining Pocahontas’ destiny with new-fangled technology. Ratcliffe is also shipped back to England in disgrace. This is in contrast to a rescue that may not have even happened, John Smith being left to his fate, a trinket used to boost his ego in front of a native chief and a torturous death for one of the heads of the colony. Oh, and the fact that the English and the Powhatan didn’t play nicely for very long.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows for Disney Smith though, since taking a gunshot to the chest can ruin anyone’s day.

Back to Old Blighty

Disney version

“By the time you get back, my hat will be considered ‘cool’.”

Medical care is so bad in 17th Century Virginia that Smith has more chance of survival braving a four-month voyage over ravaging seas than staying there. He therefore has no choice but to return to England, but he has won the approval of the chief for saving his life. Powhatan says he is always welcome in his land and calls him “brother”, and Pocahontas leads a procession of tribesmen bearing corn for the English colonists to eat, cementing their newfound friendship.

Smith is safely loaded on to the ship with far less fuss than Ratcliffe, despite his mortal injuries, and the Susan Constant pulls away from the shores of the Americas. Pocahontas rushes alongside it, and then nobly watches her beloved leave from a windy cliff top.

Historical version

Disney’s Smith deserves a medal for his injury, but the real life one probably got a Darwin Award.

Rountree, Price and Mossiker all agree Smith was injured in a gunpowder explosion, but Price and Mossiker clarify that said gunpowder went off in his own pocket. Badly injured, he was sent back to England but not expected to survive, and there is no proof that most of the Powhatan, let alone Pocahontas, were even aware that he had gone. Pocahontas had stopped visiting Jamestown by this point, as the alliance between the Powhatan and the colonists had long since begun to deteriorate.

Part of the reason was to do with the aforementioned freeloading, so this scene:

was a regular occurrence, initially so that the Powhatan could trade for English trinkets, and then as part of polite protocol as the colonists were incorporated into the Powhatan chiefdom. Or so Wahunsenaca thought.

Although Smith and Chief Powhatan exchange a whopping one line of dialogue in the film, in actual fact, these two men were the driving forces behind the growth, conflict and downfall of both Jamestown and the Powhatan chiefdom as a whole, and Pocahontas was only a few steps above a footnote as far as they were concerned. All sources agree that while Wahunsenaca obviously had his own motives for becoming pally with the English, Smith was not about to let anyone order him around and began making one-sided deals with the natives that later escalated into intimidation and violence. This was reciprocated, until the colonists were left to starve one winter as they couldn’t fend for themselves or were unwilling to, a far cry from the message of tolerance and brotherhood shown in the film. Also, once Smith had gone, there was nothing to stop the starving colonists from eating each other, so there’s that display of camaraderie to consider too.

In an interesting move, Disney have saved the happy ending for another time, as the main couple neither marry nor stay together, even though it would technically be possible. To add a spot of drama they have Pocahontas waving off her beloved, and of course the nature of Smith’s wound is heroic rather than hilarious.The gift of corn does add up somewhat, as this was also an offering from the chief once Smith had been incorporated into his kingdom, but Powhatan and Smith’s relationship is unsurprisingly frozen at a relatively rosy point. In reality,  the Powhatan probably didn’t give a monkey’s that Smith had gone, and both their relationship with the English, and the colonists among themselves, went from bad to worse. This in turn led to desperate and underhanded measures on the part of the English, and brings us to the rather controversial epilogue of Pocahontas’ story.

“I’m Needed Here”

Disney version

Despite the heartache, Pocahontas says she can’t accompany Smith back to England because she must stay and help her people and the colonists. Likewise, she says Smith can’t stay as he is too injured, but that she will always be with him wherever he goes.

Historical version

Jean Leon Gerome Ferris, “The Abduction of Pocahontas, 1612″. Date fail, but an awesome painting.

Pocahontas did end up helping the English after Smith’s departure, but not at all in the way she was expecting.

In the year 1613, after she had married Kocoum (and had a child according to Custalow & Daniel), Pocahontas was kidnapped by Captain Argall to use as leverage against Wahunsenaca. This was for the return of some weapons his men had stolen, some English prisoners, and yet again for more food. Wahunsenaca submitted to their demands up to a point, and for a while there were no attacks on the English. Pocahontas’ custody officially lasted until 1614, at which point she was baptised “Rebecca” and married to an English colonist by the name of John Rolfe.

This time, the difference of opinion is as wide as the Pacific.

Price and Mossiker say that, although her abduction was initially unpleasant, Pocahontas was treated well by the English, and due to her previous meetings with them at Jamestown as a young girl, she would have had a positive view of them and their “exotic ways”. What’s more, they treated her like a princess, when among her own people she may not have enjoyed specific privileges as such (inheritance was matrilineal, meaning her uncles and aunts would be heirs to the “throne” before she was). They explain that she genuinely fell in love with John Rolfe, who was instrumental in her conversion to Christianity.

Baptism of Pocahontas, by John Gadsby Chapman

Rountree and Custalow & Daniel brand the above as Stockholm Syndrome, although Rountree admits the young woman may well have enjoyed the attention and prestige given to her by the English. Custalow & Daniel vehemently deny that any part of her conversion or marriage was consensual, and that according to Mattaponi oral history, she was raped, possibly by more than one person, and that her marriage to John Rolfe was used to cover up the resulting pregnancy. This, they insist, explains why Rolfe did not record the birth of his own “son” in Virginia, despite being the available registrar at the time, and why they named the child Thomas (Sir Thomas Dale was the overseer of Jamestown at this point, and the prime suspect).

What is known for certain is that Pocahontas left for England with some of her entourage soon after, both English and Powhatan, and was shown around 17th Century London as the “civilised savage” to attract more investment in the Virginia Company of London. Said company had utterly failed on the gold front, but they had managed to scrape some money out of tobacco farming in the area of Jamestown. From tobacco plants imported from the West Indies.

Pocahontas never set foot in Virginia again after this. She died suddenly on her return journey before they even left the shores of England, and to your utter surprise no doubt, the sources can’t agree on this either.

Price and Mossiker say she likely died of respiratory illness due to the thick smoke and fog of London in the 1600s, but Rountree refutes this, as Powhatan homes were apparently very smoky and she would have grown up in a similarly smoggy environment to a point. Her take is a somewhat less flattering case of dysentery that was sweeping some areas of England at the time, which would have led to a rapid if undignified death. Custalow & Daniel’s version is altogether different: according to Mattaponi oral history, it’s suspected that Pocahontas was poisoned, since after her tour of London she would have realised how big the English “tribe” really was, as well as their plans to expand and eventually take over her father’s lands. To prevent her from revealing this to Wahunsenaca on her return, the English poisoned her food on the return journey.

She was buried in Gravesend, England, but the church where she was buried later burnt down and had to be rebuilt. The graves were moved to other areas of hallowed ground, but mixed up in the process, meaning that Pocahontas’ bones are now considered lost. Oh, and if you think you might be related to her, unless you’re already part of the Powhatan Renape Nation then you’ll probably never know for sure, as the official Powhatan website will attest (with rolled eyes).

No matter which account rings true, the real end of our heroine was far more tragic than her waving off her true love from a breezy cliff edge. While in the film it’s implied she will help the English and her people co-operate and live off of the land, in reality, their relations deteriorated and further conflict was only held in check at one point due to her kidnapping. She then left her homeland for England and was used to secure more English funding for the expansion of Jamestown, which eventually resulted in the dispersal of her people.

Conclusion

You can probably see why this film caused so much controversy, or at least made people shield their faces and quickly walk away humming when asked about its historical accuracy.

Disney have picked out the main characteristics of the people involved in the most famous part of the Pocahontas legend, and based the events of the film on the best possible outcome. Pocahontas is a free spirit, beloved by her father and John Smith, and helps two disparate groups find friendship and brotherhood. Smith allows her to teach him about her people and see them as something more than “savages”, and likewise Powhatan bows to his daughter’s wisdom when it comes to dealing with the English. But, as we have seen, regardless of which account you look at, history paints a very different picture.

The real story of Pocahontas is her abduction, conversion and journey to England. Before this point, she was pretty much incidental or background colour, as the famous “rescue” may not have been a rescue of any kind at all. Her relationship with John Smith, if you can call it as such, may have exposed him to more of her culture, but he only used this to demand food and other gifts from the Powhatan without giving any of his own valuable possessions in return – not to fight their corner before the other colonists. Whatever relationship they may have had only happened after the apparent “rescue”, and after Smith had already won the approval of Wahunsenaca. And in the end, Pocahontas indirectly helped the English, through no fault of her own, to gain a foothold in the New World that spelt doom for the Powhatan nation. And cement the solid reputation of the British abroad.

Essentially, Disney have shoe-horned Pocahontas into parts of history that didn’t really involve her much, if at all, and turned a blind eye to the main events of her life story, which arguably ended in tragedy. The notion that she helped the English and the Powhatan find a peaceful resolution for both sides is just as tragic. Although they based their story on the legend of Pocahontas, not the true events, Disney do have to take some responsibility here, as the general public would see the film and assume this is pretty much what happened, even with Hollywood’s propensity to stretch the truth. Giving an accurate portrayal of Pocahontas’ people is not really enough to make up for it, but on the plus side, it could inspire more people to seek out the real version of the story.

Well, at least it doesn’t sound like Avatar anymore.

Sources

1) Pocahontas, 1995. Film. Directed by Mike Gabriel and Eric Goldberg. U.S.A. Walt Disney Pictures.

2) Custalow and Daniel, The True Story of Pocahontas: The Other Side of History. Fulcrum Publishing, 2007 (U.S.A.), ISBN  13: 978-1-55591-632-9

3) Mossiker, Frances, Pocahontas: The Life and the Legend. Da Capo Press, 1996 (U.S.A.), ISBN: 0-306-80699-1

4) Price, David A., Love and Hate in Jamestown: John Smith, Pocahontas and the Heart of a New Nation. Faber and Faber, 2004 (U.K.), ISBN: 0-571-22099-1

5) Rountree, Helen, Pocahontas, Powhatan, Opechancanough: Three Indian Lives Changed by Jamestown. University of Virginia Press, 2005 (U.S.A.), ISBN: 0-8139-2323-9

6) Hastings, Waller, 1995:  ’Disney’s Pocahontas:Folklore, History and the Culture Industry’, Academia.edu, accessed 30th June 2013, <http://academia.edu/2144708/Disneys_Pocahontas_Folklore_History_and_the_Culture_Industry>

7) Dutka, Elaine, 1995: ‘Disney’s History Lesson: ‘Pocahontas has its share of supporters, detractors’, Los Angeles Times, accessed 2nd June 2013, <http://articles.latimes.com/1995-02-09/entertainment/ca-29997_1_native-american>

8) Buckland, Carol, 1995: ‘Walt Disney’s Pocahontas’, accessed 2nd June 2013, <http://edition.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/Movies/Pocahantas/ >

9) Wright, T., 2010, ‘Like Avatar, Only Without Aliens‘ , London Particulars, weblog post, 17th March, accessed 2nd June 2013,<http://londonparticulars.wordpress.com/2010/03/17/like-avatar-only-without-aliens/ >

10) ‘Pocahontas’, Primary History – Famous People, 2013, accessed 2nd June 2013,  <http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/primaryhistory/famouspeople/pocahontas/>

11) ‘History of Jamestowne’, Jamestowne  Rediscovery, accessed 3rd June 2013, <http://apva.org/rediscovery/page.php?page_id=6>

12) Rountree, H. C. Pocahontas (d. 1617). (2012, November 1). In Encyclopedia Virginia. Retrieved from <http://www.encyclopediavirginia.org/Pocahontas_d_1617>

13) ‘The Powhatan Indian World’, Historic Jamestowne, 06/04/2013, accessed 3rd June 2013,<http://www.nps.gov/jame/historyculture/the-powhatan-indian-world.htm>

14) ‘The Pocahontas Myth’, Rankokus Indian Reservation, 2010, accessed 1st June 2013, <http://www.powhatan.org/pocc.html>

 

Disney’s recent acquisition of Lucasfilm (and subsequent demolition of Lucas Arts, boo!) has reminded me that they can be just as adept at ramping up the evil as covering their characters in glitter and rainbows. Not all of them started off on the side of Luke and Yoda, but here are five characters the House of Mouse dragged over to the Dark Side.

#5: The Sea Witch

Film: The Little Mermaid

Transformation

From amoral organ dealer to glamorous megalomaniac.

Hans Christian Andersen version

Andersen’s sea witch is strictly business. Ask her for a spell and she will tell you how it works in frank and toe-curling detail, but also make sure you get the most out of it, albeit painful human legs in exchange for your tongue, or a prince-murdering dagger for your long luxuriant hair. Once body parts have been exchanged she couldn’t be less interested in her customers, and seems happy lounging around on the undead sea bed letting snakes eat from her mouth. I’ll leave you to decide if that’s a euphemism.

Disney version

Disney’s Ursula, on the other hand, sees every customer as a chance to screw over the mer kingdom that exiled her, and so encouraging the impulsive Ariel to use her services is her meal ticket to taking over the whole ocean. Although she is up front about the pros and cons of her spells, she also sets out to sabotage them, and her contracts include such small print as “satisfaction guaranteed, or get turned into a sea polyp”. Even when she has control over the ocean, Ursula feels the need to grow enormous in size and cause havoc among the waves for no apparent reason other than because she can. Or maybe because she grows to fill the size of her container like a goldfish.

Although Andersen’s sea witch is no angel herself, Disney decided to make her the antagonist rather than be true to the book and show the prince to be a bit of a prick.

#4: The Beast

Film: Beauty and the Beast

Transformation

From genteel, murderously protective gardener to selfish monster diva.

Madame de Villeneuve version

Despite asking Belle if she’ll sleep with him every night, this beast starts off as a reasonable if disadvantaged gentleman, giving Belle’s father delicious meals, a day of bed and board and whole chests of jewels at no extra charge. The one caveat is to avoid stealing his roses, and this is the only point at which he flies into a rage. Belle’s imprisonment in the castle must be entirely her choice, and she must be completely mindful of what she is doing before the Beast allows her to stay. After this point, he leaves her politely to her own devices and only shares meals with her, his only question (other than the above) being whether she is happy and fulfilled. He seems to handle rejection much better than his governess, who turned him into a Beast when he refused to marry her.

Disney version

Disney’s Beast, conversely, was transformed into a beast for being a selfish and grumpy git, and his condition only makes him worse. Roaring and smashing up furniture are a part of his routine, and he thinks nothing of imprisoning helpless old men and damsels alike. Forget bedroom antics – he hits the roof when Belle simply refuses to have dinner with him, because obviously watching him eat is the way to her heart.

Gorgeous.

It’s only when Belle cracks and runs away into a pack of waiting wolves that the Beast starts to reassess his behaviour and clean up his act. He then pretty much reverts back to the Villeneuve version, making sure Belle is cared for and sharing meals with her in the castle, but thankfully doesn’t ask her if she wants to see his rose. (She discovers this on her own.)

Disney have made the Beast an antagonist (at least to start with) to labour the point about inner beauty. It’s not just Belle who has to overcome appearances; the Beast must also learn to control his temper and become a good person.

#3: Judge Claude Frollo

Film: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Transformation

From fallen father figure to genocidal madman.

Victor Hugo version

Claude Frollo received a slap-o-rama of  bad luck in his early life. Not only did his parents die of the plague, but he was then left to take care of his infant brother, Jehan, all by himself and thereby cut short a promising academic career. He later adopts the infant Quasimodo, but despite his genuine affection, both of his proteges end up a disappointment – one is an alcoholic layabaout, and the other shoves him off the roof of Notre Dame to his death. The reason? Having spent most of his own youth raising other children, Frollo has never had a taste of real passion, and so when Esmeralda comes along, she rocks his world. This is such a shock that it turns him into a manipulative bastard who will stop at nothing to have her, even bribery, voyeurism and attempted murder, or to make sure no one else can have her either. In short, Frollo starts off a sympathetic figure until he lets his own desire and long-held resentment get the better of him.

Disney version

Disney’s Frollo seems to have always been a racist ass-hat with a huge chip on his shoulder. He thinks nothing of committing murder and torture as he uses his own beliefs to justify these actions, especially towards the immigrant gypsies, and raises Quasimodo out of duty rather than any concern for his welfare, which is admirable since he was the one who kicked his mother to death. This is even before he crosses Esmeralda’s path, and so once she defies him he resorts to burning down half of Paris and potentially burning crowds of innocent people in order to get what he wants – either total annihilation of the gypsy population, or the kind of hot-bed that involves Esmeralda. Ideally both. Fortunately, he ends up falling into in a literal hot-bed of lead.

Hugo’s version is used to show the dangers of obsession, and while this is also true of Disney’s version, it’s more about religious dogma and corrupt officials, and probably seeing what they could get away with in a children’s film.

#2: Clayton

Film: Tarzan

Transformation

From vaguely green-eyed gentleman to trigger-happy poacher.

Edgar Rice Burroughs version

William Cecil Clayton is the only one of Jane’s admirers that had enough balls to accompany her to darkest Africa. Unbeknownst to him he is Tarzan’s cousin, and since Tarzan and his father were presumed dead, Mr. William Clayton has plenty of money and estates to woo the object of his affection. Upon hearing she’s been kidnapped and lost in the jungle, Clayton thinks nothing of charging into the wilderness to find her, but is rather miffed that Tarzan beat him to it, as well as his impressive musculature. He then proceeds to plant seeds of doubt in Jane’s mind about the ape-man’s loyalty and eating habits, but he needn’t have worried as he has enough societal bling to win the tug of love in the end.

Disney version

With his booming, well-spoken voice, Clayton sounds like he wandered off a pantomime stage and into the jungle, which would explain why he feels the need to blast anything that moves. On the very thin surface he is  a guide for the Porters, but in reality he wants to capture himself some gorillas and score some good old English dosh. Completely blinded by greed, he lets his shotgun do the talking and even goes so far as to imprison the people he was supposed to protect. He’s not especially intimidated by Tarzan, even when he charges him completely unarmed, and keeps his stiff upper lip even when he’s being unceremoniously hung by jungle vines.

Admittedly I was thinking too hard about this one in my blog post and thought that Clayton was a jab at the original Tarzan character (also officially named Clayton). Really, Disney have just boosted Clayton from a catty love rival to the epitome of the greedy poacher to reinforce the environmental message.

#1: Kaa

Film: The Jungle Book

Transformation

From wise and fiercely loyal companion to sneaky, underhanded nightmare fuel

Rudyard Kipling version

Kaa the rock python is one of Mowgli’s best and most loyal allies, for several reasons. How many other friends would lead you to buried treasure, help an assault on a  mad monkey base and then protect you from ravaging killer bees and wild dogs in one go? Not many, and Kaa is also the only animal that can resist or fight all of the above. Although this could make him Master of the Jungle, he is perfectly happy chilling in a rock pool with his man-cub pal. He does have a hypnotising dance, but this works on everyone except Mowgli and is mainly used to scare away the troublesome monkeys.

Disney version

Arguably the most considerate carnivore (he puts his victims to sleep first), Kaa is a menace and frequently tries to hypnotise Mowgli, and even tries his hand, or coils, at putting Bagheera and Shere Kahn to sleep too. Despite this advantage, he is a coward who won’t stand up to the tiger, and tries every trick in the book to lure his victims into his grasp, albeit reasoning, his endless coils, or a musical number. He does know when to draw the line though, as after one knotted tail too many he decides Mowgli is too much trouble and would probably give him indigestion.

While the wolves seem to have escaped the “Big Bad Wolf” stereotype, poor old Kaa has been bludgeoned with every western misconception about snakes ever written, which probably explains his complete transformation in the Disney version. Also, a snake is probably a more threatening enemy than a bunch of dogs or bees.

And the moral of the story is that Disney hate the black arts, love rivals, people who change shape and snakes. Oh, and if you happen to have an English accent as well, you can expect to die horribly.

I haven’t posted in this section for a while, so I thought I would add my undoubtedly long-awaited list of favourite male characters. I should probably say from the outset that I don’t have a thing for bad boys, and I’m not condoning the behaviour of any of these chaps, but each of them have made an impression over the usual Disney “Kens”. I’m looking at you, Eric, Phillip, Smith, Hercules…meh, let’s get on with the list before I fall asleep.

#5: Aladdin/Flynn Rider

Film: Aladdin/Tangled

I’ve tied these two because I like them for the same reason – both grew up penniless orphans who became thieves, but in spite of their crappy predicaments, they never whinge about it, not once. Flynn is the only one who openly mentions it, but he’s quick to avoid such a “downer” of a tale. Aladdin, on the other hand, has perfected the skill of larceny and guard evasion to the point that it feels like a theme park ride and seems fairly content in his surroundings. The only difference is that Aladdin uses his skills to help other people at the bottom of the food chain, like the orphaned children, whereas Flynn utterly fleeces his fellow thieves. In the end, Aladdin and Flynn both renounce their illegal hobbies and become better people, but then stealing isn’t really necessary once you’re hitched to a princess.

#4: Prince Naveen

Film: The Princess and the Frog

Naveen is the opposite of the above, in that he’s had everything handed to him on a plate all his life, and then when it’s taken away he has no idea what to do. And then he gets turned into a frog. Fortunately, this doesn’t stop him from looking on the bright side, and he takes every opportunity to have fun, albeit with his royal entourage, the local townspeople, or other frogs and fireflies, making sure they all join in the party.  When you drill down deeper, however, you find a young prince who is pretty embarrassed and bemused that he has never learnt how to take care of himself, and he grabs the bull by the horns when this is pointed out to him. Well, in so far as he tries to chop his own vegetables, but it’s a start, and he becomes more sensible and responsible without losing any of his happy-go-lucky nature, which is why he stands out to me. Plus, I’m a sucker for the French accent.

#3: Kerchak

Film: Tarzan

If you are under the age of 5 you will probably find Kerchak terrifying (if you are, kudos for being able to read this), and there’s no doubt he has a temper when pressed. However, his roaring tantrums seem to be his way of processing new information, like a noisy loading screen, as afterwards he usually approaches any problem with a different mindset, albeit allowing Kala to keep her newfound baby, or deciding not to obliterate or banish Tarzan for betraying his word and leading hunters into their midst. He does have the best interests of his family at heart, and it turns out he was right all along – adopting Tarzan only lead to a lot of trouble for his troop. But, being a protector through and through, Kerchak does eventually accept Tarzan as his son and fights for him. Unfortunately, a tantrum followed by reasoned argument is no match for an explosion followed by shotgun shrapnel.

#2: Judge Claude Frollo

Film: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Yes, this was who I was referring to earlier on. I’ve picked Frollo for this list because he’s no doubt one of the most memorable Disney characters ever, not only because of his despicable acts, but because of the lack of motive and evil powers or abilities that some of the other villains have. Frollo is an identifiable bad guy that you hear about all too often in the real world, even today, who carries himself with dignity and has no problem in justifying his crimes. On top of this, he’s in a position of authority, and as Esmeralda points out, he is the person people are supposed to turn to when they need help. To make him even more appealing, Disney have made him a victim of his own lust. If you can find me a worse combination, I’d like to hear it. Actually, no I wouldn’t.

#1: Hades

Film: Hercules

Face it, when someone mentions this film, this is the first guy you think of, not the titular hero. Villains are generally the more interesting characters, so when you have a villain that’s also honourable, they’re even more so. For instance, he’s probably the only bad guy who keeps his side of a bargain, sometimes pointlessly (or idiotically) so, and in spite of his actions, he’s just doing his job and trying to get a promotion. It only looks bad because in this case it requires despicable things such as attempted infanticide, sending natural disasters all over the world and usurping the ruler of the cosmos. Um, well, at least there are no hard feelings when it fails, and he is also open to a more diplomatic approach, such as the sexy-lady diversion or waiting another few thousand years before trying again. Basically, unlike most other Disney bad guys, Hades doesn’t always go for the most severe option to get what he wants. And, unlike other Disney bad guys, he’s voiced by the awesome James Woods. Which makes him the clear winner regardless.

Thanks again for indulging me with another non-comparison post. Are there any chaps you would like to see on this list?

With Prince George continuing the Circle of Life here in jolly old England, what better time to revisit The Lion King, until recently the highest grossing Disney film of all time and the first without any human characters whatsoever. Even without opposable thumbs, clothes, vehicles or tools, these characters still managed to grab our attention long enough to forget that they’re a group of wild animals, so you’ve got to wonder what compromises had to be made with their behaviour to make them relatable, believable and suitable for family audiences. Given that Disney’s attempt at a real-life human story was so far off target they had to call it a legend, you probably don’t hold out much hope for Simba and co. Well, that’s where you’d be wrong, at least if you ignore the singing and the interspecies co-operation.

Originally envisioned as a documentary (and underdog to the then-in-development Pocahontas), The Lion King is a testament to Disney’s research skills as well as that of keeping shtum about certain details. But I’m going to let the cat out of the bag and explain, among other things, the real reason Simba can’t wait to be king.

Synopsis

The entire African savannah is overjoyed at the birth of Simba the lion cub, even the animals he will one day eat for dinner, but his uncle Scar is less enthused as he is now one step further from claiming the throne of Pride Rock. While Simba and his father, the good king Mufasa, stroll through the kingdom talking about the food chain and the delicate ecological balance, Scar hatches a plan to murder them with the help of the outlawed hyenas. Unfortunately being a cute and rambunctious cub means that Simba is both suicidally brave and gullible, and has no qualms about going to play in the elephant graveyard (and hyena stronghold) with his best friend and reluctant future bride, Nala, or ending up in the midst of a stampede of thousands of wildebeest. Although Simba is lucky enough to survive both adventures, Mufasa ends up being thrown off a cliff by Scar while trying to escape the stampede. In perhaps one of the worst psychological games ever, Scar tells Simba it was entirely his fault and that he should run away to escape the shame and scorn of the pride. For some reason neither Simba nor the lionesses connect the dots when a load of hyenas suddenly appear after Mufasa’s death and Scar’s takeover, but then Simba is too busy dying in the desert to notice much else.

Fortunately, he is rescued by meerkat and warthog duo Timon and Pumbaa, who teach him how to live like a loafer and somehow survive on bugs. By the time he is fully grown Simba is so used to this, and still raw over causing his father’s death, that he doesn’t want to return to save the day when an equally fully grown Nala comes across him seeking help to depose Scar. It takes a ghostly apparition of his father and a wallop on the head from the baboon shaman to convince him to do so, and after both accepting responsibility for his father’s death, and then discovering it was all a lie anyway, Simba is able to rally the lionesses and retake his throne. Scar pretty much tosses himself to the hyenas, the formerly desolate land becomes green and lush and full of fresh living meat, and Simba and Nala find out the result of their erotic tussle in the bushes – the Circle of Life continues once more.

So this is basically the story of a power struggle, the importance of family ties and fighting for what is right. Do real lions have these kinds of dilemma?

What They Got Right

Pride Structure

Image by Scotch Macaskill

Prides are usually made up of one or more male lions who have the task of eating, sleeping, getting food delivered to them and servicing the many lionesses in the group. This might sound awesome to some of you, but male lions have to be at the top of their game to stop others from taking over their pride and murdering their cubs, so brothers often form coalitions – like Mufasa and Scar. This explains why Nala isn’t killed when Scar assumes control of Pride Rock, and brings us to our first example of Disney keeping shtum.

Daddy Issues

The identity of Nala’s father is conspicuously absent. Given that this is a coalition, Nala and Simba are at best cousins and at worst half-siblings, but this would also be true to life as lions aren’t above getting it on with their blood relatives, as the staff of Longleat Safari Park can tell you.

Dad or Uncle will also drive out any sons who get too big for their boots, and Junior or Nephew might return again later to take over, with or without allies, so this is another feather in Disney’s research cap. Note also that the only cub you see once Simba has assumed the throne is his own heir at the end of the film, as would be the case if he conquered a pride. And there are no sequels to suggest otherwise.

No. No there aren’t.

Equally non-existent is the feline feminist movement.

It really, really sucks to be a lioness

The abused always kick downwards, which is probably why the lionesses do the hunting. They have no control over who leads their pride, who they get down and dirty with, who has the best choice of cuts at the dinner table, or whose bloodline will carry on the Circle of Life, as step-children are utterly un-cool in a lion’s world. Even with this, the only time a lioness will ever leave her pride is if pickings are slim, hence Nala dashing off into the wilderness when Scar somehow causes a famine.

Fortunately, hormones can give lionesses a reprieve and blot out all the horrible things that their partners might have done in order to meet them.

Courtship

Can You Feel the Love Tonight isn’t only a love song in The Lion King – it’s also a step-by-step manual of lion dating etiquette.

1. Follow each other around

2. Drink together

3. Playfight

4. Make baby lions

This is pretty much what happens in the wild, except Simba would have to repeat this for the eight other lionesses in the pride. Again, we can assume from the severe lack of sequels that this happened after the end credits.

As it happens, strength, territory and a harem aren’t the only badges of virility and dominance in lion society.

Roar Ambition

Not only do lions roar to communicate or co-ordinate each other, but they use it to periodically tell other lions to stay away from their pride and their home. Or that they’re assuming control of said home, bitch. This explains why young Simba is obsessed with practising his own, much to the exasperation of his friends and guardians – if his roar isn’t any good, he won’t be king of anything in future.

Nala finds another reason for a lioness to be depressed.

The hyenas seem to be the only fans of his squawking, so let’s move on to another animal where Disney ticked some of the boxes.

Women on Top

In complete contrast to lions, female hyenas rule the roost and are the larger and more aggressive of the two sexes. Their genitalia is also very similar, which must take the thrill out of cross-dressing.  In The Lion King, Shenzi is the leader of the hyena clan as she is the one who instigates any plan, discussion or fight, and from her entrance from the elephant skull, she is always shown in the middle between Banzai and Ed.

The hyenas living in the elephant graveyard also makes sense up to a point.

Bone of Contention

Hyenas are one of the only animals with a jaw strong enough to crunch bones, and a digestive system badass enough to ingest them. This explains how the hyenas in The Lion King have enough sustenance to stay alive but also crave fresh meat, just as Lestat tells Louis that you can technically survive on rat’s blood, but it would be bloody horrible, both literally and figuratively.

The big African predators all hate each other, so Mufasa chasing hyenas off his land and keeping them at bay in the elephant graveyard is also pretty accurate. Although lions are more likely to be antagonistic towards them, hyenas will most definitely go for any lion cubs on the menu, because who wouldn’t when the alternative is sucking marrow all day.

However, while they got some aspects of hyena life right, Disney have folded to conventional stereotypes in others.

What They Got Away With

Relatively Wrong

D’awww!
Image by Michelle Turton

Hyenas may look and act like dogs, but this little chap is a closer relative. Hyenas are more likely to have civets and mongooses on their Christmas card list than any kind of hound, but given their behaviour, and the classic cat vs. dog set up, you can see why Disney chose to go a different way. This isn’t the only instance where they bend to public opinion.

The Real Injustice in The Lion King?

This rather blurry blast from the past from 90s U.K. shows how hyenas are viewed as thieves and scavengers (although stealing a vehicle would be slightly outside their remit. Especially Ed’s).  But in fact hyenas kill about 95% of their own meat and are pretty self sufficient, whereas it’s been reported that lions scavenge their kills far more often and would probably be the ones to chase them away and steal their prize.  By all accounts hyenas are sophisticated hunters, both solitary and in clans, rather than the lazy leeches depicted in the film.

Here’s another change that in my opinion Disney made as a concession to audiences.

“I Think You’re A Little Confused”

I’m not going to slag off Rafiki, because he’s awesome. However, he has the facial markings of a mandrill ape, but the physique and tail of a baboon. He even pokes fun at this identity crisis by saying Simba is a baboon, but he isn’t. If Rafiki were a mandrill, he wouldn’t have a tail and so audiences would be treated to views like this:

So…that’s a fair concession.

What makes somewhat less sense is the following.

What Takes The 

Grub’s Up!

Even as a starry-eyed 11 year-old, I found this part of The Lion King hard to swallow. An adult lion can put away about 20kg of meat in one sitting, so there’s no way that Simba could survive off bugs until adulthood or beyond, even if he ate a crap-load of them like Timon and Pumbaa. Disney could have just brushed Simba’s hunting habits under the carpet here, as they did with the possible incest/infanticide angle, as we know he was quite a precocious pouncer (much to Zazu’s disdain) and could have perhaps bagged a few non-meerkat-related mammals. But nope, regardless of the fairly accurate points in the rest of the film, Disney decide to shrug and just go with it. Which is strange considering they were diligent enough to change the title of the film from King of the Jungle when they realised that lions don’t actually live in jungles.

With this in mind, can we forgive this last oversight?

Conclusion

Disney have rather cunningly given an accurate portrayal of life in lion society without showing or denying the more unpleasant aspects. Even lion mating rituals are cleverly disguised as a romantic musical number. There are no convenient explanations for what goes on, such as the whereabouts of Nala’s father and the lack of cubs when Simba becomes king, and for the most part the other animals are shown in a light that’s either realistic or conforms to what people would expect. The fact that this is a “royal family” of lions also lets them wrestle certain types of behaviour past the censors, as things like betrothal, betrayal and murder are fairly run of the mill when it comes to the balance of power among relatives, at least historically.

Although this doesn’t detract from Simba being raised on a diet of insects, we can overlook this given the amount of accurate details or nose-tapping in the rest of the film, and the other questionable points that make sense to serve the plot or maintain a monkey’s dignity.

In short, Disney have just about kept the delicate balance between an informed documentary and an entertaining, emotional story with great characters in a stunning setting. And that’s always worth shouting about.

Accuracy Rating: 8/10

Sources

1) The Lion King, 1994. Film. Directed by Roger Allers and Rob Minkoff, U.S.A. Walt Disney Pictures.

2) Uhlenbroek, Charlotte, Animal Life: The Definitive Visual Guide to Animals and their Behaviour. Dorling Kindersley, Great Britain, 2008. ISBN: 978 1 4053 22157

3) The Life of Mammals, television programme, British Broadcasting Corporation, England, 2002.

4) Carroll, Chris. (2005) Misjudged Hyenas [Accessed: 5th August 2013]

5) Kemper, Steve. (2008) Who’s Laughing Now?  [Accessed: 5th August 2013]

6) http://www.bbc.co.uk/bigcat/animals/lions/lions.shtml [Accessed: 10th August 2013]

7) http://nationalzoo.si.edu/animals/greatcats/lionfacts.cfm [Accessed: 10th August 2013]

8) http://tvguide.lastown.com/bbc/preview/animal-park-series-8/30-minute-reversions-episode-8.html [Accessed: 12th August 2013]

9) Header image: http://de.wallpaperswiki.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Lion-Pride.jpg

It’s rather apt that Disney’s The Fox and the Hound and Daniel P. Mannix’s The Fox and the Hound are about as compatible as, um, a real life fox and hound.

Part of the reason was good old fashioned politics. To carry on the Disney legacy, many “new bloods” were hired to work with the remaining Nine Old Men or original core animators, and some were at odds with the rose-tinted direction the story was taking. So much so that one of said new bloods left with some colleagues to start up the first company to ever rival Disney, at least in the 80s. You may know him as Don Bluth.

With most of the naysayers out of the way, a story about the unlikely friendship between a fox cub and a bloodhound puppy could finally emerge in 1981, even though it had caused a year-long delay, become the most expensive animated film to date and created Disney’s own worst enemy in the process.

The other reason? Probably because no one could find the damn novel anyway. Despite having “magician,” “circus performer” and “hunter” on his CV, as well as a menagerie with foxes, eagles, an ocelot and even a ten foot alligator in the family swimming pool at one point, author Daniel P. Mannix himself is rather elusive when it comes to biographical information, and he seems to have transferred this skill to his 1967 novel. When it isn’t topping £130 on Amazon you would need a whole fleet of Coppers to find it, so we will have to make do with the condensed Readers Digest version. But worry not, as the only thing missing here is why Disney didn’t just change the title and have done with it.

The Foundling Fox

Disney version

It’s traditional for a Disney owl to be woken by a new arrival, but in Big Mama’s case the news arrives via dog bark and gunshots rather than cheery birdsong, and any gasps are reserved for the mother’s suicide run rather than the baby itself. Left all alone while the vixen catches a bullet, the fox cub is helpless and Big Mama realises she has to foist him onto someone else as soon as possible.

By hatching a plan with feathered friends Dinky and Boomer, and stealing a pair of pink bloomers, she manages to grab the attention of Widow Tweedy who lives in a nearby cottage. Fortunately, Tweedy is the incidental badass of mortal Disney grannies and happily takes in the orphan, naming him “Tod” as he is “such a little toddler”. Big Mama and the others look on as the little cub is carried away into the house, moments before the local neighbourhood hunter, Amos, pulls up next door with a brand new hunting dog. Nice one, Bird Brains.

Mannix version

Image by Eric Bégin

Believe it or not, the Disney version is the best case scenario. In the book, Tod and his mother don’t even make it out of the den.

The fox cub’s first memory is the stench of fear and the sound of men and dogs digging them out of their earth. Unlike his siblings, who run around like the headless chickens they likely ate last week, Tod keeps as cool as a cucumber and simply waits for his mother’s escape plan. She carries him to an exit burrow, and one of the terriers kindly spares her a return trip by breaking into the tunnel and savaging the other cubs to death. The vixen then tries to dig another route out and for a brief moment she and Tod are buried in enough dirt that the dogs can’t smell them.

The men are just about to call off their hunt when another terrier picks up their scent. The vixen rewards its diligence by snapping its spine in two, but is caught herself when trying to tunnel her way up through the roof, leaving Tod all alone in a cacophony of death. He stays still and quiet, trying to hide right under his enemies’ noses, and they either pity his stupidity or are embarrassed at having missed him, because one of the hunters, a local farmer, puts him in a sack and takes him home to adopt him.

Hands up who knows why Disney changed this part.

Wisely opting for a cross-country chase rather than a full-on fox massacre, the film paints our orphaned Tod as a victim who is quickly rescued and given an alternative guardian with the help of some wacky side characters. We never see how the hunt started or if he even had any siblings, and since the neighbouring hunter arrives separately, with a new dog instead of a trophy, we can assume he wasn’t involved. Mannix’s Tod isn’t spared any such horror as he is rescued by one of the very hunters who killed his family rather than a gushing little old lady, and his mother is torn apart by dogs rather than blasted with a shotgun. Tod himself is shown to be a survivor as well as a victim – he was spared because he knew to keep still and quiet while all hell broke loose around him. Well, at least he escaped having an old woman’s pants dropped on his head.

You’ll be pleased to know that our opposing hunting dogs are introduced in much less traumatic a manner.

Copper and Chief

Disney version

Luckily for Tod, next door’s new hunting dog is more interested in being cute than attacking anything. The resident hunting dog, a wolfhound named Chief, is getting long in the tooth and doesn’t like this fact being rubbed in his face by the newcomer, but Amos instructs him to teach the young bloodhound how to become a hunter. Despite appearances, Chief is a softy at heart and allows the puppy, named Copper, to sleep on him when no one is looking and grudgingly teaches him everything he knows.

Much to Chief’s chagrin, Copper is an apt pupil and is rewarded with a seat at the front of the truck and even Amos’ hat when they return from their winter hunting trip. Since the bloodhound is so keen to learn and impress rather than humiliate or upstage, the older dog seems grumpy at the situation rather than him personally, and although their bond doesn’t quite reach father-son status, by the end of the film Copper and Chief are content in each other’s company.

Mannix version

Image Gilliamhome on Flickr.

The book is the opposite of pretty much everything I just said. To start with, Copper is the old timer and Chief is the young upstart, and the former utterly hates the latter.

The half-breed bloodhound used to be the master’s favourite, but Chief, a Trigg hound (a type of American foxhound) now carries that distinction and constantly tries to lead the charge when they are out hunting. If that weren’t bad enough, by the occasional fluke Chief has found a scent that Copper was tracking and then taken all the credit for it. Consequently, whenever the master takes Copper out on a hunt, albeit with the police or for game, the bloodhound tries to rush him along so he doesn’t take the younger dog with them. He is particularly put out when he is the one who tracks down the body of a hunter killed by a bear, but the master sees fit to bring Chief and all the other dogs along as well when they go to capture it.

The reason for this is soon revealed; Copper is an absolute wimp in a fight, so when he finds the bear he doesn’t know what to do with it. After it flings the other dogs around like cushions it decides to go for the hunters, and it’s Chief who dashes in to save the master, seizing the bear in a tender spot probably best left to the imagination. As the master lavishes praise and attention on the Trigg hound for saving his life, Copper flushes with anger and shame as he was unable to protect his owner. Meanwhile the bear is torn to pieces by the other dogs.

Don’t worry Koda, they were all turned into bears to teach them a lesson. Maybe.

In an interesting parallel with the animators, which is also mentioned in the DVD documentary, the Disney version shows the passing of the torch from old to young in the best way possible. The newcomer is so happy at their success and respectful of their elder that it’s hard for the old timer to be too offended. Conversely, the Mannix version shows the worst possible outcome, with the older dog jealous and angry and the upstart trying to take the credit away from them, consciously or otherwise. Copper and Chief’s ages are also swapped in the original novel, with Chief a different breed of dog entirely, and there is no mentor-pupil relationship at all, just good old wholesome hatred. We also see that Copper is a multi-purpose tracker who may or may not be a coward.

One particular animal he tracks will leave a mark on him forever more, in both versions no less.

The Best of Friends…?

Disney version

Young Tod and Copper have a few things in common. As well as being godawful at Hide and Seek they are both surrounded by old people (or animals) and want to explore further afield. Tod is basically kicked out of Tweedy’s barn for causing a ruckus, whereas Copper picks up a strange scent that he can’t place. While Chief tuts disapprovingly, the puppy wanders off in search of the source, whereupon he comes face to face with the fox cub.

ONE DAY THIS WILL BE THE SOUND OF YOUR DEATH.

They form an instant friendship and after a couple of days’ frolicking acknowledge (rather than pledge) that it will last forever. A dog-shaped obstacle is about to put this to the test, as soon after Amos becomes fed up of Copper running off and decides to tie him to his makeshift kennel next to Chief. Tod comes over to play anyway, and despite Copper’s nervous warnings, he thinks that poking a veteran hunting dog in its sleep is a great idea. It turns out that Chief is a softy except when faced with anything other than a dog or human and chases Tod viciously and hilariously across the farm, resulting in Amos taking a few pot shots that blast Widow Tweedy’s milk canisters to smithereens. Hmm, there was probably a better way to phrase that.

The subsequent shouting match between Tweedy and Amos means the friends are separated – Tod is confined to the house, and Copper later leaves with his master and mentor on a winter hunting trip. Much to Tod’s dismay and disbelief, Big Mama tries to convince him that their friendship is over by sort-of singing a song about how he will come back a fully-fledged hunting dog. Dinky and Boomer try to assist by showing Tod Amos’ shed of animal trophies, explaining that Copper will play a part in collecting them. While Tod’s mind isn’t completely destroyed by the sight, or the fact that him being a fox means he will also hunt most of these animals if he doesn’t already, he still has trouble believing Copper will go from this:

to this:

Consequently, when winter is over, the hunters are home and both Tod and Copper are adults, the fox is shocked at the bloodhound’s response to his visit – their bromance is officially over as he has a career now.

Friends forever, folks!

Mannix version

In the time it takes Mannix’s Copper to track down Tod, the latter has had two sets of cubs and most of the surrounding countryside has been converted into housing estates. Simply put, the pair don’t officially meet until the very end of the novel, much less form any kind of bond other than hunter and hunted.

That’s not to say that foxes and hounds don’t ever get along in the book. Part of the reason Tod stays calm during the attack on his family is because the scent of dogs isn’t strange to him – it’s the scent of human that freaks him out – so when he is plopped on to the kitchen floor as a cub, he finds the farmer’s puppy bemusing rather than terrifying. The pair grow up together, but Tod quickly tires of his company as well as that of the farmer’s and elects to spend most of his time outside before leaving for good. The only dogs he encounters thereafter are after his blood or are used as amusement, often both. His two favourite games involve taunting them by leaping just out of reach of their kennel chains and leading them directly into a herd of angry cows. It’s implied that he meets Copper while playing the first game, but neither animal appreciates the other’s importance until something happens to Chief.

Essentially the film’s friendship and the conflict it causes are non-existent in the novel. The only bond Tod has with a dog is with the farmer’s puppy, but he soon loses interest in him, just as he and the farmer don’t seem particularly bothered about parting ways. This is in contrast to the film where Tod is the one who seems set on maintaining their friendship, and Tweedy is extremely protective of him. In both cases though the fox is a bit of a shit-stirrer with any dogs he didn’t befriend as a cub, and lacks any sense of danger whatsoever.

These characteristics pave the way for the biggest life change for Tod since his mother died.

Off the Rails

Disney version

Tod and Copper’s friendship may not last forever, but one thing certainly does – Chief’s enthusiasm for dead fox. While Copper gently tries to persuade Tod to leave before they get into trouble, the wolfhound wakes up and goes straight for his throat. Fortunately he was still chained, but as Tod dashes away Amos bursts out of the house and unties both hunting dogs, ordering them to chase down that sneaky no-good fox. Tod’s hiding skills have improved somewhat, but Copper still happens upon him crouching in a wood pile and takes the honourable decision to let him go just this once.

Redeemed, for some reason Tod decides to run even further away from the safety of Tweedy’s house and up along the railway bridge. He then has to decide which fate is worse – an coming train or Chief’s uber-sharp teeth, both of which have appeared out of the dark and are fast approaching. Fortunately he realises he can just duck between the tracks, and I would say Chief isn’t as fortunate as he is elbowed off the bridge into the river below, but given what a speeding train normally does to you, I would say he has better luck than Tod ever had.

Finding Chief collapsed with a severely injured leg, Copper is furious and makes a new pledge with Tod – that he will rip him asunder when he catches him, a policy also heartily endorsed by Amos. Well, what did Tod expect if he stayed friends with this guy?

Mannix version

It’s just another day of dog-baiting for a bored and mischievous Tod, and another day of the dogs barking and howling like demons possessed whenever he gets near. At least until the master opens the door to see what the fuss is about, and Chief manages to break loose from his chain.

In Tod’s first “Oh shit” moment for a long while, he bolts across the field with the Trigg hound in hot pursuit, trying to remember his usual tricks and escape routes. When these fail, and the dog doesn’t obey his master’s calls, he remembers an iron track where a huge iron monster occasionally roars back and forth, and since today he decided to tease the dogs earlier than normal, he knows that it hasn’t had its daily roar yet. He leads Chief along the railway line and then leaps out of the way at the very last minute, hearing a scream of pain as the train thunders past behind him.

The master arrives soon after, and for a long time stares down at Chief’s remains on the track. Eventually, sobbing, he picks him up and shouts angrily to anyone who will listen, swearing vengeance on the fox. Tod can’t understand English, but even from the safety of the juniper patch he senses that he took things a bit far this time. From then on, the master is set on tracking him down, and Copper is only too willing to assist – not because he is sorry for the Trigg hound’s death, but because it makes his owner happy.

One thing the old and new animators couldn’t agree on was Chief’s demise, as they had never killed off a main character and weren’t willing to do so now.

(COUGH)

In any event, Chief’s accident spells doom not only for Tod and Copper’s friendship but also Tod himself, as both master and bloodhound make it their mission in life to catch and kill him. You could argue that Disney Tod is treated a little unfairly as he never intended for Chief to get mown down by a train – he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, and on this occasion he wasn’t poking about in Chief’s barrel, so you can’t blame him for the wolfhound going after him. Mannix’s Tod, while still being a fox trying to survive, was decidedly more of an ass-hat this time by deliberately leading the dog to its death. Both Coppers, meanwhile, do a U-turn with their respective characters, with one reneging on his decision to spare the fox and former friend, and the other seemingly happy to avenge the death of his former rival.

Having a hunter and a bloodhound on your trail certainly makes life more interesting, especially in the great outdoors.

Born to Be Wild

Disney version

Caution, DUMBO levels of sadness approaching.

Like any good parent, Widow Tweedy has done her utmost to protect Tod, including facing down Amos’ shotgun not once but twice, and even firing it herself to get her point across. However, when Amos tries to barge into her home, yelling and waving his gun around about Tod’s latest adventure and how he will pay for Chief’s injury, Tweedy solemnly realises that she can’t keep the fox confined to the cottage or even on the ranch. She makes the tearful decision to turn him loose in the game preserve the very next day, and just to compound Tod’s bad luck, there is a torrential downpour as soon as her cart disappears down the hill.

Raised on human cuddles, food and a warm basket by the fire, Tod is utterly clueless at what to do and not only faces the wrath of a badger when he tries to take shelter, but gets woken the next day by an arse full of spines from a porcupine who took pity on him and let him stay his burrow. Left to wander alone, feeling sorry for himself, Tod’s only friend comes in the form of Big Mama, who has an idea how to cheer him up in his new environment.

Mannix version

Red Fox at Wild Acres, by Sandy Urgo

Conversely, Mannix’s Tod is the James Bond of wild foxes.

When he’s a cub, he refuses to be trained like the puppy, and can’t wait to leave the house and explore the fields and farmland. As an adult, in addition to teasing and outwitting the dogs, he both works out how to and becomes addicted to springing gin traps, regardless of whether they are set upright or upside down, which must have caused many a WTF moment among the hunters. Although he doesn’t manage to free any of the other foxes who get caught in them, he does bring them food to look after them and if it’s a cub he will stay with them until he hears human footsteps approaching.

Throughout his life of leading his pursuers into cow stampedes and cow catchers, he also survives an epidemic of rabies that annihilates the other foxes, including a violent encounter with a rabid fox, and survives the subsequent wave of poisonings used to wipe them out. And, as you would expect, he’s a lady killer, in more ways than one as we will discover.

It’s interesting that for all Disney Tod’s inexperience with life in the wild, the worst thing to befall him so far is a bit of rain and an angry badger, whereas Mannix’s Tod shrugs off lethal metal contraptions, zombies and chemical warfare like any action hero, even though he was also raised by a human and enjoyed all the comforts associated with it. However, he rejects this, follows the call of nature and flourishes, while Disney Tod can’t adjust at all and ends up wandering around not knowing what to do next. Luckily for both of them, life in the wild isn’t just harsh and dangerous – it comes with other types of thrill too.

Foxy Lady

Disney version

While Big Mama flaps through the forest looking for Tod she bumps into Vixy, who professes an obvious interest in any new and handsome fox in the area. In comparison to Friend Owl, Big Mama encourages the pair to meet, and Tod is utterly star stuck by this alluring female, telling her her name is beautiful rather than asking if her parents had any imagination. Things don’t go precisely to plan when Tod attempts to show off his fishing skills, ends up a bit of a drip and then berates Vixy for laughing at him, but, as with any female, all is forgiven with a flower and a snuggle (and Big Mama’s intervention). The work of a Disney owl is never complete as Big Mama’s job is now shooing away all the voyeuristic birds, and the badger for some reason, as the pair wander off into the forest together.

Vixy rather unsubtly voices a preference for “six” of something, and the next morning the two foxes emerge from her den as happy as Larry, with Tod learning that sex can be used to sell anything, even life in the woods.

Anyone who lives near wild foxes will sympathise with the animals in their neighbourhood that night.

Mannix version

“You have a beautiful voice, like rusty nails, a remote controlled car and a hyperactive dolphin rolled into one.”

As I mentioned earlier, Tod ends up a womaniser, but like his Disney incarnation he is rather clueless the first time around. It’s an older vixen who makes a move on him first, and he only works out what to do when he grabs her by the scruff of the neck to stop her messing about. After the deed he wants to go off on his own, but eventually decides to stay with her and help raise their cubs. The vixen is bossy and possessive and so doesn’t follow his lead when he tries to pick a safer den for the family, meaning that the master and Copper eventually find them and gas them all. The parents escape, but the vixen later comes a cropper in a gin trap.

Tod’s next bride doesn’t fare much better. He finds her cowering, dirty and uninterested in anything, but manages to convince her of his awesomeness and they also have a family together. This time, she is happy for him to choose a den for them and he picks one with plenty of escape routes lest they enjoy the same fate as his last set of cubs. This is all for nothing, because the master has procured a recording of a rabbit and a cub in pain, and one by one all of the family, except for Tod, are duped and run right into the hunter’s hands.

As time goes on, Tod’s surroundings become more urbanised and the vixens he meets are more promiscuous and in less need of help for food, as there is plenty of it from the overflowing bins in town. This defeats the point of Tod hanging around his mate and offspring, so he eventually tires of family life too. This is just as well, as he’s about to become full-time prey for Copper and his master.

In the film and book Tod needs some help with his first romantic encounter, and luckily the vixen is already on board to make things easier. The Disney version only includes the possibility of cubs, which is probably a good thing considering the Mannix version has a terrible track record, even with his survival skills, and of course we only see Tod have one girlfriend. Another difference is that the issue of progress rears its head again in the novel – that of the countryside becoming developed and the negative change in the foxes as a result. Any change that Disney Tod sees is good, as he begins to enjoy his life in the woods and starts to adapt by dating a local.

Speaking of progress, let’s now look at how Copper and his master are doing on their mission.

A Hunt to End All Hunts

Disney version

Copper and Amos sneak into the game preserve armed with gin traps, most of which Amos places along a very specific route through the forest. Just to reinforce how bad his luck is, Tod chooses this one route when he and Vixy go for a drink of water, and they narrowly escape both metal and canine jaws as Copper lunges after them. The fox and bloodhound relive their play-fighting days by actually fighting each other, until Tod makes his second dash for Vixy’s den in the last 24 hours.

Trapped, the foxes appear doomed as Amos tries to smoke them out, but Tod and Vixy brave the flames and charge up the mountainside to safety. As Copper and Amos scramble up after them, a huge grizzly bear wakes up and has a huge and satisfying stretch. Instinctively Amos fires a shot into its shoulder, so the understandably irked bear goes for him and Copper. Poetic justice in the form of a gin trap closes around the hunter’s boot, leaving the bloodhound to fend off the beast. The bear slaps him about until Tod has a crisis of conscience and tears down the mountainside, hurling himself into the fray to save them.

“My ear! My one weakness!”

A gun and an angry dog are far less threatening than a sheltered fox, and so the bear scuffles with and chases Tod back up the mountain. Cornered precariously over a waterfall on a log bridge, Tod believes this is it, until the bear is accommodating and basically kills itself by swiping said bridge in half with its own paw. Fox and bear then tumble down into the misty spray.

Mannix version

The Fox Hunt, by Alexandre-François Desportes

Copper and his master end up pursuing Tod for many years, and not because they can’t tell him apart from the other foxes. Their methods include using packs of hounds, finding his trails and chasing him along them into the path of a hunter’s gun or car (foiled by an oncoming lorry), the aforementioned gin traps, gas, recordings and of course poison during the rabies epidemic. Over the years, the other dogs die off, the other hunters move away and more and more housing estates crop up, leaving Copper and his master all alone. One particular day the master is encouraged to move into an old people’s home, something he refuses to do as it would mean separating him from his beloved bloodhound, but the tables turn and they gain favour again when it’s discovered there is still one fox standing in the area, and he and Copper are the best hunters available to dispatch it. Funny that, seeing as they’ve utterly failed to catch the original fox they set out for.

This time things will be different though, because Tod isn’t so well these days. Although unlike the others he survived eating poisoned carrion  - he ate the smallest Russian doll in the set – it’s taken its toll on his older body, and when tracked continuously over a day and night he’s unable to lose his pursuers. He eventually collapses and lies waiting for the inevitable as the master and Copper gain ground.

Both Tods demonstrate incredible survival skills as well as taking on impossible odds without so much as a shrug, but in the film, Tod manages to protect his mate and his old friend, while Mannix’s Tod loses pretty much everything, including the rest of his species, mostly due to the hunter and Copper’s persistence. Disney also introduce the bear as an even bigger enemy for the characters, one which also unites them, and unlike the book Copper is brave and tries to defend Amos from its claws. The hunt is also over fairly quickly in comparison to the novel, where it spans many years and becomes a lifelong vendetta rather than what is arguably an impulse kill.

With the foxes now cornered or possibly dead, will the dog and his master do the deed?

The Fox and the Hound

Disney version

A dishevelled and broken Tod crawls out from the waterfall and collapses in the water, with no sign of the bear anywhere. Copper, with both a confused and blown mind, stands on the shore not knowing what to do, at least until Amos wearily approaches with his trusty shotgun and aims at the fox. Hoping to show him he’s an ungrateful bastard, Copper quickly stands over Tod and woefully stares his master down. The hunter relents, probably thinking a fox that survived traps, fire, a bear attack and a cliff fall is impervious to bullets, and decides it’s time to go home. The fox and the hound then exchange an exhausted but knowing smile before going their separate ways.

Later, back at the ranch, Widow Tweedy dutifully checks the bandage of the man who swore to kill her pet, and Copper lies in his kennel, reminiscing about his friendship with Tod. Tod himself sits on a hillside overlooking the houses, disconcertingly within the range of a gun, and appears to reminisce just as deeply before being distracted by his lady friend.

Mannix version

Study of a Bloodhound, by William Holman Hunt.

Tod isn’t the only one exhausted after the chase. When the bloodhound finally catches up with his quarry, he can barely walk and has just about enough energy to finish the job before collapsing on top of him.

When Copper is conscious enough to work out what’s happening, he’s back in his home and surrounded by men pointing flashing boxes at Tod’s lifeless corpse. The fox is skinned and then nailed to the wall, and for a time, Copper and his master enjoy heroic status for killing the last one in the area. Such bliss on Copper’s side doesn’t last, because soon after the same men come knocking and urge the master to move into an old people’s home. This isn’t only due to his age and his apparent alcoholism – it’s implied the men want to build more houses, and the hunter’s home is the only thing standing in their way.

Unfortunately, this is not an option.

The master breaks down and cries, much to Copper’s confusion, before taking the bloodhound outside with a shotgun. He covers the dog’s eyes, and Copper’s last thought is that he’ll be happy as long as he’s always with his master.

Quick! Think happy thoughts!

The one thing linking the film to the original here is the hound standing over the fox. Everything that comes after is entirely different –  neither Tod nor Copper escape the hunter in the book, and the hunter is also at the mercy of his own kind as he must give up his way of life and sacrifice his only companion for the sake of progress. This is in contrast to the film where the humans both relent when shown the error of their ways and also put any grievances to rest, i.e. Tweedy helping Amos with his bandages in spite of their previous arguments. Copper and Tod also acknowledge their friendship and part ways peacefully, as opposed to being united in death.

Conclusion

Despite the rosy outlook of the film, Disney’s The Fox and the Hound actually has some depressing elements. Namely how societal rules can force people and friendships apart, and how doing the right thing for your friends and family can be painful, both emotionally and physically, especially if a grizzly bear is involved. It also hammers home the importance of loyalty and tolerance, as long as those societal rules are adhered to. Given Disney’s usual track record, you probably thought Amos was going to take Tod home with him too, didn’t you?

Of course, this doesn’t stop it from being the polar opposite of Mannix’s novel. The title The Fox and the Hound is used to compare the lives of two different animals who barely meet, and teaches that whether you’re man’s best friend or enemy, you’re buggered. And if you’re a man or woman yourself, society also has it in for you in form of progress, which doesn’t happen without some form of sacrifice. In fact, progress is the evil monster in the book as it can take away the warmth of relationships (Tod), your personal liberties (the master), or your way of life, although your actual life may be taking it a bit far (Copper).

What does form a link between the film and novel is Tod and Copper’s respective characters, as well as the nature vs. nurture argument. Both Disney and Mannix’s foxes are survivors with a sense of adventure who often take suicidal risks, and for the most part emerge victorious. The bloodhounds are also obedient and fiercely loyal to those closest to them, even if this is at odds with others they have met in their lives. What’s more, the Tods end up flourishing in the wild, even though they were hand-reared, and once in the great outdoors they don’t ever look back. In the end, both fox and hound follow nature’s call, albeit as a hunter and tracker or a dog-bothering scamp.

The moral of the story? You can typecast a dog and a fox all you want, but humans can be as different as a Disney adaptation.

I.e, very.

Sources

1) The Fox and the Hound, 1981. Film. Directed by Ted Burman, Richard Rich and Art Stevens, U.S.A. Walt Disney Pictures.

2) Mannix, Daniel P. The Fox and the Hound:Reader’s Digest Condensed Books Volume 4. Reader’s Digest Association, Canada, 1967. First Edition.

3) Sito, Tom, 1998: ‘Disney’s The Fox and the Hound: The Coming of a New Generation”, accessed 3rd September 2013, http://www.awn.com/mag/issue3.8/3.8pages/3.8sitofox.html

4) ‘Daniel Mannix, 85, Adventure Writer’, 1997, accessed 10th September 2013,  http://www.nytimes.com/1997/02/08/arts/daniel-mannix-85-adventure-writer.html

Filed under: Disney vs. Original

Sometimes the characters that say nothing can be the most compelling. We can only gauge their emotions through their movements, reactions or the musical score,  if we can gauge anything about them at all. I thought I would give a nod to my top five Disney characters who never utter a word and can therefore be universally understood.

#5: Dopey the Dwarf

Film: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

If Dopey doesn’t at least raise a smile, then you have no soul.

It’s not just his silliness that makes him endearing, it’s the fact that he’s as innocent and good-natured as Snow White, so when he does something daft you think “aww, you adorable scamp,” rather than “good God you’re an idiot” before ramming your palm through your face. This also works in his favour when it comes to Snow White, as he’s the only dwarf she doesn’t tut at for having dirty hands – she’s distracted by laughing – and manages to steal more than one kiss when she leaves, probably because she’s thinking the same thing as above. Perhaps there’s more going on than meets the eye with this one?

#4: Dumbo (aka Jumbo Jr.)

Film: Dumbo

When was the last time you saw a Disney film where the main character never said a word? (No, Wall-E doesn’t count, he can at least say his name.) Somehow this little elephant keeps us engaged for a full hour and a half simply by being cute and vulnerable, and reminding us of what it was like to be a small child in a world full of towering adults. Being separated from your mum and laughed at by everyone, and certainly not in a Dopey way, is most children’s worst nightmare, so our hearts go out to Dumbo, especially in that tear-jerking scene when he’s briefly re-united with his mother. In short, we don’t need a self-pitying or melodramatic diatribe to know or care about his problems, just as we don’t need him to burst into song to know how happy he is flying with his own set of wings at the end of the film.

#3: Samson

Film: Sleeping Beauty

The more subtle ancestor of Maximus from Tangled, Samson represents how I and many other children felt while watching yet another pretty princess film. He rolls his eyes at her beautiful singing, is visibly irritated by Prince Phillip’s desire to meet her, and is far more interested in helping him battle a demonic dragon or escape a crumbling castle. Also, any character whose mood utterly changes at the thought of food has a special place in my heart. But, for all his grumpiness, Samson is a brave and loyal steed, and judging by his reaction to Phillip’s late night date, he would be an awesome wingman for many a bachelor. If, you know, he weren’t a horse.

#2: Rapunzel’s Parents

Film: Tangled

This pair are only on screen for about two minutes in total, but in that time they convey so much with so little, especially Rapunzel’s father. There’s a heavy sadness to their facial expressions and movements, so like Dumbo we don’t need to hear them mourn the loss of their daughter, or vocalise a plan to find her. In fact, one of the reasons they stand out is because they are the only characters that seem to show any sadness in the film – Rapunzel and Flynn are both quite chatty and happy-go-lucky despite their situations, making the monarchs’ silent tears, reassurance and inner reflection even more resonant.

#1: Marahute

Aww she so fluffy!

Film: The Rescuers Down Under

Marahute is one of the only Disney animals that isn’t anthropomorphised (much) and yet still manages to connect with the audience. Her eyes, vocalisations and body language tell you everything you need to know about her state of mind, recent widowhood and hope for her offspring, while still reminding you she’s a huge eagle, and she deserves far more screen time in my opinion. What’s more, she can fly you high up into the clouds with no ill effects from lack of oxygen and take you water skiing while defying the laws of physics, so why wouldn’t you want to spend time with her? Choosing her as number one is also another excuse to remind people how good the second Rescuers film is and to go and watch it, right now.

Are there any mute Disney characters you’d like to shout about?

Filed under: Top 5s

Some of their characters have surprisingly horrible ends, so Disney don’t always shy away from including darker elements in their films. That said, there are still occasions when they can’t compete with the originals, so I thought we could look at a different kind of death match: a morbidly curious list of characters Disney decided to save or kill off.

I will only include the characters that appear in the films and not those who were absent from the start (e.g. Aladdin’s parents), and I’ve grouped them by film, otherwise we’d likely be here forever.

In Part One we’ll look at the characters Disney decided to spare and what befell them in the original.

Oh, and er, Happy New Year!

#7: The Evil Sorceror/Jafar

Film: Aladdin

Show of Mercy

Life imprisonment with a hyperactive parrot.

Original Sentence

Drunken decapitation.

When the alternative is to have your head hacked off in your sleep, most people would choose Door Number One. The again, it might depend on your companion’s voice.

The evil sorcerer in Aladdin and the Enchanted Lamp, like Jafar, manages to abscond with both an entire palace and the princess thanks to the power of his newly acquired lamp. Luckily our hero Aladdin is a man with a plan, and gives the princess a drug to slip into the sorceror’s wine. The sorceror slips off into the Land of Nod, and then demonstrates a particularly severe nod as his head is sliced from his shoulders. At least he would be spared any sequels.

#6: Kala

Film: Tarzan

Show of Mercy

Caged by poachers, then rescued by Tarzan.

Original Sentence

Shot with poisoned arrow, then avenged by Tarzan.

As Tarzan’s adoptive mother, Kala was the only ape who wasn’t constantly trying to kill him. So it stands to reason that of all the apes lumbering about in the jungle, a local racist caricature cannibal decides to pick her for his main course. After the poisoned arrow has done its duty, Tarzan takes off after him to wreak revenge as well as continual havoc in his village, realising that now his “mother” is gone, all he’s left with is a group of naked primates bent on beating him to a pulp at every opportunity. Time to move out then.

#5: Shere Khan

Film: The Jungle Book

Show of Mercy

Frightened away with fire.

Original Sentence

Crushed by cattle.

Hunting Mowgli is only a sideline for Kipling’s Shere Khan. He’s much happier snacking on people in the local village and sleeping in sunny ravines, but the latter habit leaves him open to the man cub’s dastardly plan. With the help of his wolf pals, Mowgli causes the village cattle to stampede right through said ravine, trampling the tiger underfoot and crushing him to death. He then skins him and drapes his fur over Council Rock like a trophy. See, Scar? Your mistake was enlisting the help of canine wannabes rather than actual dogs.

#4: The Main Cast of The Fox and the Hound

Film: The Fox and the Hound

Show of Mercy

Life in the wild                       Life with his master                                A broken leg

Original Sentence

Killed by Copper                      Shot by his master                     Killed by a train

Tod is even more of a cheeky scamp in the novel and when Chief gets loose – while the fox is teasing him –  he deliberately leads him into the path of a speeding train. This isn’t the only train wreck the fox bears witness to; as a result of Chief’s death, Copper and his master pursue him avidly over many years, wiping out two of his families and turning his life into a constant hunt, right up until he collapses under a victorious but equally exhausted bloodhound. Unfortunately for Copper, before Tod’s skin can even dry on the trophy wall his master is told to move into an old people’s home, leaving the hunter no choice but to euthanise his loyal friend as dogs aren’t allowed. I would have taken him to an animal sanctuary, but okay.

#3: Esmeralda and Quasimodo

Film: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Show of Mercy

Lives happily ever after with Phoebus      Lives happily ever after among the people

Original Sentence

Hanged  for witchcraft/murder            Starvation (hugging Esmeralda’s body)

That’s right – in the original, Frollo sort of won. In the beginning he’s the only one who believes Esmeralda is versed in the dark arts, but after framing her for the murder of Phoebus – despite him being very much alive – public opinion turns and the young gypsy is arrested and tortured. Phoebus could have stepped in to say he wasn’t really dead, but she was making their relationship a bit awkward in front of his fiancée, so he leaves her to get lynched. The only one who seems to care is Quasimodo, who after shoving Frollo off the top of Notre Dame disappears and is later found in skeleton form hugging her corpse in the catacombs. Maybe you should have stayed in the tower, Quasimodo.

#2: Ariel

Film: The Little Mermaid

Show of Mercy

Changed back into human form, lives happily ever after with Eric.

Original Sentence

Dissolves into sea foam, then has karma reduced to zero.

The poor mermaid. After throwing away her family, lifestyle and voice to impress the first guy she fancies, she misses the boat and he marries someone else. As well as having to endure the wedding, due to her agreement with the sea witch she ends up dissolving into sea foam the morning after, and not due to excessive alcohol consumption. Fortunately, she is resurrected by the angelic Daughters of the Air, who admire and reward good and heroic deeds, but despite this the mermaid’s ultimate sacrifice counts for precisely bugger all, as she will have to start entirely from scratch if she ever wants to earn an eternal soul. Karma is indeed a bitch.

#1: Governor Ratcliffe

Film: Pocahontas

Show of Mercy

Shackled and sent back to England in disgrace.

Original Sentence

Skinned and burned alive by the Powhatan (according to Pryce).

Ratcliffe was one of the original overseers of Jamestown in Virginia and had an extremely nasty end at the hands of the Powhatan, at least according to journalist David A. Pryce. Even before John Smith left for home after blowing himself up, relations between the English and the native Americans had begun to sour, mainly due to the English bullying the natives for food and land and the natives responding in kind with food and arrows,  and when Ratcliffe stepped up to negotiate with the chief, things deteriorated even further. It’s not clear if the English threw a strop on the spot or if the Powhatan had planned it all along, but Ratcliffe’s men were ambushed and killed, his ship was attacked, and a group of Powhatan women skinned him alive with mussel shells before burning him at the stake.

And you thought Disney treated its villains badly.

The obvious rule here is that you don’t kill your protagonist, especially if they’re an animal. Even more so if they’re endangered and if letting them live lets you dance around any uncomfortable stereotypes. What is quite surprising is the mercy shown to the two villains – of course Disney couldn’t include Ratcliffe’s original death, but although both of these men do quite despicable things, they are either comically tied up or treated to a spot of poetic justice rather than the usual unintentional-but-convenient-fall-from-a-great-height scenario.

Some of the characters in Part Two aren’t quite so lucky.

Continuing our (my) bout of morbid fascination, let’s now look at some characters who survived the original but were doomed by Disney. Yes, this does actually happen from time to time, as these four will attest:

#4: The Sea Witch

Film: The Little Mermaid

Original Version

Left to continue organ-trading/spell-casting

Disney Doom

Impaled by ship’s mast

Disney’s Ursula is by far the more bombastic of the sea witches, turning every trade into a punishment for the mer kingdom rather than letting them get on with their poor lifestyle choices. When she manages to take over, she grows enormous and whips up an evil storm, allowing Prince Eric to steer a shipwreck right into her that somehow makes her explode. Hans Christian Andersen’s sea witch, on the other hand, bears her customers no ill will and presumably carries on creating spells with organ donations.

#3: General Li/Army General

Film: Mulan

Original Version (Xu Wei)

Defeats opposing army, awarded title of Marquis of Chang-shan

Disney Doom

Annihilated by opposing army

In Disney’s Mulan, General Li is the imperial army’s best hope and the father of Mulan’s love interest, so clearly he won’t last very long. He and his soldiers are wiped out by the Huns and found lying in the snow by Shang, Mulan and a small group of undertrained and comical recruits. To add insult to injury, or violent death, these bumbling soldiers are the ones who manage to save the emperor and the rest of China. In Xu Wei’s play, General Xiu Ping could defeat his enemies with a thought and pretty much does so – he is later rewarded with a title and stipend and by all accounts barely has a scratch on him.

#2: Clayton

Film: Tarzan

Original Version

Marries Jane

Disney Doom

Hung by jungle vines

I’ll give you a moment to absorb the contrast there. Ready?

Disney have changed Clayton from a jealous love interest into a trigger-happy hunter, and after double-crossing the people who likely funded his transport, food and expedition, he gets into a brawl with Tarzan and switches to stab-happy once his gun is no longer available. His knife conveniently and inadvertently slices the wrong jungle vines and the hunter is left hanging by his neck, lit up by an equally convenient lightning flash. In the book, Clayton gets the girl instead of Tarzan thanks to his more conventional upbringing, and the only thing he threatens Tarzan with is a few catty remarks behind his back.

#1: Gothel

Film: Tangled

Original Version

Kicks Rapunzel out, never seen again

Disney Doom

Ages centuries in one go, trips over chameleon, falls to her death

Both Gothels can be considered cast-iron cows, but Disney’s one takes the biscuit by kidnapping and imprisoning Rapunzel and then murdering her boyfriend. Fortunately, giving Rapunzel a funky hair cut both dissolves her powers, slams her with hundreds of years of ageing in one go, and then makes her confused enough to trip over a pet chameleon and fall out of the tower before turning into dust. Grimms’ Gothel? After kicking Rapunzel out for being pregnant and giving the prince a mouthful of abuse, we hear nothing more of her and she presumably carries on being a bitch to her neighbours.

Given the powers and tenacity of Ursula and Gothel in the films, Disney could only hope for a happy ending by bumping them off or giving them a trite or unrealistic character u-turn. Likewise Clayton was never going to be steered away from blasting animals and making money, so his fate was also sealed. But Disney aren’t above killing off good characters – General Li dies to show how desperate the situation is and to create an emotional link between Shang and Mulan, the latter of whom went to war to avoid the same thing happening to her own father.  

So the moral of the story is if you’re a villain and you partly succeed in your devilish plan, you’re dead. Unless you’re an animal, or god, or if giving you a taste of your own medicine would be more amusing. If you’re the oldest hero that everyone’s depending on, you’d better take out some life insurance pronto, especially if your next of kin is about to take the reins.

The fate of the characters in the Disney version therefore stems from how they portray that character. For instance, killing off the original Gothel and Clayton would seem unnecessarily harsh, but due to their actions in the film you secretly hope that they die horribly. Tod and Copper’s friendship would also end on an extremely sour note if the ending was the same as in the book. So whether Disney choose to save or kill off a character depends on the story constructed around them and whether this would gel, and not just because “oh my god think of the children!!”.

Then again, if you’re a pretty girl or an animal, you’re probably safe.

I said “probably”.

Filed under: Disney-Related

With its female co-star, female villain and subliminal female nudity, Disney’s The Rescuers saw more ladies get the limelight.

Released in 1977, it was a testament to Bernard and Bianca’s prowess. Not only did the mice rescue little orphan Penny, but they also lifted Disney out of a rut by securing their first big hit since Walt’s death in 1966. This in turn spawned the first ever sequel (thanks, guys) and made an appropriate swan song for five of the original Nine Old Men. But how faithful is it to the book?

Initially, The Rescuers was to be based on Margery Sharp’s story of the same name, part of a series of nine adventures starring Miss Bianca and her loyal friend Bernard. But rescuing a Norwegian poet from the dreaded Black Castle – in a thinly-veiled Soviet Union – did not a happy family film make, and so the focus was switched to the second episode, entitled Miss Bianca, where the pair rescue a young girl from an evil duchess. I’ll be basing my comparison on the latter, but I’ll give you a shout when the first one pokes its little mousey nose in.

Although Elizabeth Taylor was snagged for the film version of The Nutmeg Tree, most of Sharp’s non-rodent work is under the radar. Eschewing emotion and romance for heroism and practicality, her style was charmingly branded as a “male perspective”, and her novels and plays span the best part of 50 years. Even though the gap between The Rescuers (1959), Miss Bianca (1962) and the film alone is more than ten years, and political correctness and women’s rights were gaining ground during this period, in some ways the original stories trump the film with their treatment of female characters. This is but one surprise in store on our rodent road trip, another being that you can’t always rescue everyone. Because the most important thing in a story with talking mice? Realism.

Main Characters

Disney version

Arabia and Africa are countries, right?

The Rescue Aid Society is a group of mice who meet in an unattended suitcase in the New York United Nations. (You decide which is less realistic.) In case their adorably stereotypical clothing didn’t do the trick, the delegates are helpfully seated by their country names, and pledge to always answer a call for help. They are bolstered by an anthem and a chairman, who employs various underlings to carry out his duties.

One such underling is Bernard, the janitor. Although he happily joins in with said anthem and is a closet mouse agent, he is too modest to put himself forward for the job and simply shouts from the sidelines. Despite his strong sense of superstition and fear of heights, Bernard is impeccably practical and barely notices his own bravery at times. Fortunately, one particular mouse helps him to hone his skills and confidence.

Voiced by Eva Gabor, Hungarian delegate Miss Bianca is elegant, coy and completely fearless as well as entirely non-judgemental. Unless she sees you do something awful she will happily chat to you, and carries herself “like a lady” at all times, even when sauntering in late for an emergency meeting or missing a flight. Fortunately, her charms and wily ways breeze her out of many a sticky situation, and beneath the immaculate style beats a huge and tenacious heart with easily yankable strings.

This is good news for little orphaned Penny, who by all accounts will grow up to be a badass. Only six years old, she’s nonplussed by crocodiles, potholing for diamonds and driving a vehicle with no training whatsoever – her only real fear is that she will never be adopted. On the whole she is polite to both of her captors, remembering her p’s and q’s unless Mr. Snoops earns a bit of sass, but at the same time the mastermind, Medusa, can freeze her in her tracks.

Madame Medusa is a pawn-shop owner and literal Cruella De Vil stand-in who also seeks a glamorous item. This time, rather than skinning innocent puppies for a fur coat, it involves kidnapping and traumatising a young girl until she finds a huge diamond called the Devil’s Eye. Aside from her ostentatious dress sense and two pet reptiles there is nothing remarkable about her – she is simply a woman who stoops to terrible lengths to gain a priceless object, making her one of Disney’s most relatable and realistic villains.

Nero and Brutus are the aforementioned crocodiles whose skills include patrolling the swamp, hunting down errant children and playing the organ. They reward Penny’s back-chat with guffawing and Mr. Snoops’ sycophancy with aggression, but seem generally loyal to Medusa despite her chaining them up outside every night. They are at least treated better than anyone else in her posse.

Snoops is Medusa’s bumbling assistant. Controlling a six year-old girl is too much for him, let alone two entitled crocodiles, but he is apt at playing with fireworks, shifting the blame on to other people, and missing each and every hint that Medusa will run off with the diamond the first chance she gets.

So we have an international mouse rescue ring, two mouse agents (one a former caretaker) and a feisty young girl going up against two crooks and their crocodiles. This sounds charmingly comical now, but it’s positively side-splitting when compared to the original.

Sharp version

Image by Garth Williams.

In the first episode The Rescuers we are introduced to the Prisoners’ Aid Society, a group of everyday mice who meet in a wine casket somewhere in the Mediterranean. Surprisingly, Disney didn’t just change their name to make a catchier song – rescuing anyone is completely beyond their remit. With an anthem focusing on cheese and all its awesomeness, they limit themselves to giving prisoners a pat on the shoulder rather than busting them out, and it’s only due to some recent radicals that it’s even being considered. What’s more, the society is headed by a chairwoman, and by the second episode, it’s Miss Bianca herself who is sitting in the hot seat.

Miss Bianca, by Garth Williams

Our leading lady is a white mouse who lives in a porcelain pagoda and is the pet and companion of the ambassador’s son, meaning she has been raised in lavish surroundings with human beings. Miss Bianca finds herself roped into the Prisoners’ Aid Society thanks to her sense of duty and international travel links, and is as inseparable from decorum as her neck chain, meaning she often approaches danger aiming for negotiation rather than fight or flight.

Bernard, by Garth Williams.

In such  situations it’s her loyal and modest friend Bernard who does the worrying for her. In The Rescuers he is a pantry worker, giving him a similar social standing to janitor among the mice, but by Miss Bianca he has been promoted to society secretary as he is always so practical and reliable. There is, however, an impulsive nature hidden under the polite and unassuming one, as he has at some point earnt the Tybalt Star, a medal for bravery in the face of cats. This impulsive nature surfaces more and more as his devotion to Miss Bianca increases.

Image by Garth Williams.

Little orphaned Patience, on the other hand, can only dream of such devotion. She is starved of all friendship and affection, meaning she will emotionally attach herself to anything with a face, and due to being mercilessly worked in the duchess’ service looks the same age as Penny despite being two years older. So who is this despicable woman?

Image by Garth Williams.

You wouldn’t know it from her name, but the Diamond Duchess is even more obsessed with diamonds than Medusa, decking out her entire palace with jewels in a landmark of awful, world-renowned bling. Her cruel and selfish nature is just as famous, earning her the suspicion of sorceress among the locals and immovable tyrant among the country’s leaders. Although she has all the money and possessions she wishes, the Diamond Duchess has no dreams of her own and treats everyone else like objects, making her utterly irredeemable.

Image by Garth Williams.

Mandrake, the major-domo, is another of the duchess’ slave-driven servants. He is trapped in her employ because she is the only one with evidence of a crime that he committed, but he does find some pleasure in his job by getting trashed on bad port or emotionally abusing an eight year-old girl. He is unexpectedly swapped with an evil ranger later in the story who uses a different method of inflicting misery: bloodhounds.

Image by Garth Williams.

Tyrant and Torment are the duchess’ dogs who are stationed in a hunting lodge in the woods. Unlike Nero and Brutus they can be engaged in conversation, but lack any sense of remorse or pity for anyone on their hit-list, whether it’s a bog-standard poacher or a helpless little girl.

Sharp gives the main characters a social upgrade, but downgrades the European Prisoners’ Aid Society from official and heroic to symbolic and ad hoc. This is unfortunate, given that our orphan is being held by a sadistic aristocrat rather than thieves after a quick buck. On the other hand, Bernard and Bianca’s characters are mostly unchanged, and in both versions it’s the female characters who take centre stage with the males playing an awkward second fiddle to them and their prophetically-named animal lackeys. The only exception is the chairman of Disney’s Rescue Aid Society, and both his reaction, and that of the Prisoners’ Aid Society to the mission, is another of the stand-out differences between the two stories.

A Call For Help

Disney version

Before the opening credits we glimpse the villains’ moderately cool hideout – a shipwrecked showboat in a swamp – and a furtive Penny dropping a message in a bottle overboard. This is in full view of Nero and Brutus, and apparently not the first time, making the crocodiles and Snoops’ guarding skills on a par with Bernard’s message extraction skills when the bottle finally arrives at Rescue Aid Society H.Q.

“Silly thing. Why didn’t you just lie the bottle down?”

The letter is smeared, but there’s enough to know Penny is pleading her former orphanage to help her. Miss Bianca’s heart is skewered and she begs the society chairman to let her take the mission, but since she is just a lady, he gives her paw a fatherly pat and says he needs to send someone with her. Too dignified to give him a roundhouse kick to the face, Bianca looks upon the sea of raised arms and realises she has the pick of the litter. Strangely, she chooses Bernard, who was both vocally opposed to her going and the one she was coyly gazing at during proceedings. With some good-natured cajoling from all sides, the reluctant Bernard agrees to come along after all. Oddly, he’s not the one who needs encouragement in the original.

Sharp version

Image by Garth Williams.

On the face of it, Miss Bianca has everything sorted. She already knows about Patience’s predicament and even has a home lined up for her in the subtly-named Happy Valley, where a farming family lost a daughter years ago and are aching for another one. What’s more, the Diamond Palace is in the exact same town as the society, making it the simplest mission ever put before them. Too bad they don’t think an eight year-old slave girl is worth saving.

Why? Firstly, she’s too boring. Fresh from the excitement of the Black Castle rescue, the Prisoners’ Aid Society were hoping for a grand adventure with swashbuckling pirates. Secondly, little girls prefer little kittens, and mice don’t like kittens. Using expert flattery to cut through the disappointment (and our general impression that mice are bastards), Miss Bianca both persuades them to help, and, as a spiffing boost of morale, convinces the oft-unsung Ladies’ Guild to take the reins on this occasion, since as one group they can scare away the duchess’ ladies in waiting and give Patience a chance to escape. Worried for his lady love as usual, Bernard disguises himself as a woman so he can come along too. Unfortunately, he is busted mere moments before the mice leave and is chided back to his secretarial post by Bianca.

Image by Garth Williams.

Those masks are to filter out the duchess’ perfume, but if you thought of anything unsavoury, don’t worry, because Sharp completely did as well – apparently the mice find them “coquettish” and even pose for photos while wearing them. Hey, if you had 60 babies a year you might need to spice things up a bit too.

Moving swiftly on, it’s amusing that in the version with an organised escape plan and victim after-care the mission’s biggest obstacle is apathy. Conversely, the Disney mice don’t have a clue where to find Penny, let alone any escape plan or what to do with her afterwards, but are still falling over themselves to help. Otherwise, in both the book and the film the rescue is unusual in that either the Ladies’ Guild or a lone female agent end up accepting the mission, and more unusual still, it’s the 1960s book that has less of an issue with Bianca being in charge. In any case, each Bianca has a hidden agenda, either to boost the morale of a certain group or to spend time with the mouse she finds most alluring. Whether or not he puts his money where his mouth is, Bernard is concerned for Bianca’s safety, and this brings us to one of the key story themes.

Bernard and Bianca

Disney version

With their mutual respect, politeness and inherent trust, these mice have as much romantic tension as another pair of famous investigators.

However, due to a short lifespan this pair can’t wait seven years before getting together, and refreshingly it’s Bianca who puts the moves on Bernard. Beginning with a spray of perfume and a coy look, she then progresses to a comforting peck when flying (and possibly the naked lady) throws Bernard off balance, ending with a nonchalant snuggle as they fly under a rainbow.

As a pair they are a perfect match: she is elegant and confident, he is modest and chivalrous, meaning that for all Bernard’s concerns and misgivings about their journey, he throws all caution to the wind to rescue Bianca, for instance when she’s thrown overboard or they’re ambushed by crocodiles. Similarly, when Bernard frequently questions their odds of completing the mission, Bianca gives him a much-needed morale boost and general nudges of encouragement throughout their trip. Despite their differences, they never lose their temper with one another, instead doing everything they can to make the situation right for the other. Throw in a few instances of saving each other’s lives and you have the perfect recipe for romance.

Evinrude’s journeys are always traumatic.

To add the obligatory mouse joke, the only dish in the original is hard cheese.

Sharp version

Image by Garth Williams.

While Miss Bianca shoulders the burden of leadership, life-threatening situations and keeping up appearances, Bernard supports her in public and dashes to save her despite his odds, romantic or otherwise. In contrast to the film, the mice only ever lose their temper with each other – Bernard at Miss Bianca for venturing out to the Happy Valley all by herself, and she right back at him for trying to stow away on her mission. But such passion is deceptive. I mentioned earlier that Bianca was Bernard’s lady love, but sadly this is all in his own head. Prepare for a narrative slap in the face, because social status drives a huge and impregnable wedge between them.

At the end of The Rescuers, a meek and hopeful Bernard approaches Bianca suggesting a happy but modest life with him down in the pantry, but the ambassador’s footman (human) scoops her up to take her back to the boy, and they agree that this is where she belongs. At the end of Miss Bianca, she puts the final nail in the coffin by refusing to let him keep her silver necklace that he found, the idea being that he’d otherwise carry a torch for her. She considers their backgrounds too different for their relationship to be anything more, and reiterates that he should treat her like a sister instead.

So there you have it – one of Disney’s most famous couples was never meant to be, with Bernard relegated not to the friend-zone, but the dreaded sibling-zone, all thanks to Bianca pouring water on the flames. In the film, as soon as the mice lay eyes on each other it’s obvious that something’s a-brewing, and although their evenly matched personalities and adventure strengthen the attraction anyway, Bianca does her part to help things along. The main reason Sharp’s mice remain unrequited is to keep up appearances, and this will backfire on both of them when it comes to the mission.

Mouse Trip

Disney version

After braving the rain and a grumpy lion, Bernard and Bianca arrive at Penny’s orphanage. Rufus, the resident cat, admits the girl was worried about being left on the shelf, but can’t understand why she would run away, especially after his pep talk about keeping the faith. When pressed, he vaguely waves a paw towards a suspicious man and woman who were hanging around her. Their next stop? The police station, where the mice circulate Penny’s description and that of said man or woman so that the authorities have a new lead.

Nah, only joking. Instead they go to Medusa’s pawn shop, overhear a discriminating phone call between her and Snoops, and as she heads down to meet him at Devil’s Bayou, they decide to follow her via bra strap, suitcase, and then the more traditional albatross. Thanks to Bianca, Bernard learns to appreciate the joys of air travel, but any romantic fireworks are replaced with real ones, courtesy of Mr. Snoops.  Fortunately, while Orville the albatross pretty much leaves the mice to tumble to their deaths, the swamp folk catch them and perk them up with a dusting off or swig of moonshine.

They’re not the only ones having a rough ride; Penny has tried to escape again and has been snatched up by Nero and Brutus. As the crocs drag her through the swamp, Bernard and Bianca chase after them with Evinrude, the fastest dragonfly around, while the swamp folk suddenly decide to get off their backsides and help by rounding up reinforcements. Water transport proves no more fun than flying; after being slopped about and running Evinrude ragged, it’s by sheer luck that the mice come upon the shipwrecked showboat and manage to sneak inside.

The journey in the original has other ways of being traumatic.

Sharp version

Image by Garth Williams

Bianca and the Ladies’ Guild have a shorter but ironically far less glamorous trip to the duchess’ Diamond Palace. Unfortunately the easiest and most direct route is via dust-cart, meaning they have to share the ride with piles of stinking household waste and a fluffy little kitten. Which is also dead.

Regardless of their anti-cat stance, the mice decide the decent thing to do is bury the kitten under a pile of potato peelings and use their packed lunches as a sort of after-funeral dinner. No, I’m really not joking this time.

With that trauma out of the way, they can prepare for the next one, which results in every single one of the mice, except Bianca, fleeing in abject terror from the palace throne room. It turns out that the duchess’ ladies in waiting are made entirely out of clockwork, so not only are they impervious to the fear of rodents, their unstoppable shoes threaten to squash them mercilessly underfoot.

Image by Garth Williams.

While Bianca manages to find sanctuary in Patience’s pocket, the Ladies’ Guild hot-foots it back to the rest of the Prisoners’ Aid Society and puts on a brave face, pretends it was all part of Bianca’s plan and promptly forgets about the eight year-old slave, their abandoned chairwoman and the mission. Likewise Bernard, remembering the severe finger-wagging Bianca gave him earlier, grudgingly decides to leave things be and trust that she can handle everything. Hooray for social obligation!

Both sets of heroes have a horrendous journey, but Disney’s Bernard and Bianca could at least enjoy snatches of romance and rainbows as opposed to unfiltered rubbish, dead cats and clockwork horrors. Logistics aside, these mice knew from the start that they would have to go it alone, so Orville making a quick exit isn’t entirely unexpected, and they at least pick up some allies along the way. In the original, poor Bianca loses all of her reinforcements and is utterly abandoned, and for the foreseeable future it seems, for no reason other than to avoid making everyone feel embarrassed.  On the plus side, the mice have reached their destination and can now tend to the captive. One clearly has better coping skills than the other, and it’s not the one you’d expect.

Little Girl Lost

Disney version

Local transport doesn’t suck for if you’re Medusa, who crashes in on possibly the coolest vehicle ever, a.k.a. a swamp mobile, before throwing her temper and second grade jewels around in frustration. Why such a fuss over a little girl? She’s the only one who can fit into the cave where the diamond was hidden, and to make matters worse, the cave floods whenever the tide comes in, cutting short any search efforts. Medusa thinks all Penny needs is an adrenaline boost, and accuses Snoops of being too soft on her, promising that next time she’ll make sure the girl stays down there until she finds the gem, lung capacity be damned.

Penny is only helping on the promise they’ll take her back to the orphanage, but rather than dangle the carrot, Medusa tries to break the mule, sweetly telling her no one will ever adopt her anyway, and that her current situation is more than she deserves. This is the only thing that breaks our orphan, and she returns to her bedroom in tears.

“Uh-oh, looks like I swallowed swamp water again.”

Thankfully, yet another Oscar-nominated song, a Bambi-family cameo and remembering Rufus’ words about faith lift her spirits again, and after saying her prayers before bed, Penny opens her eyes to see Bernard and Bianca. Her reaction? To ask why they didn’t bring anyone else with them (like the police), and figuring out the escape plan all by herself.

Will Patience cope much better? Well, let’s see what she has to contend with.

Sharp version

Clue: it’s worse than high-pitched singing. Image by Garth Williams.

The Diamond Duchess is a hard woman to please, as evidenced by the countless ladies in waiting who have been fired, quit, had nervous breakdowns or fainted en masse. For this reason they were replaced with twelve inexhaustible clockwork versions, but the old bat also needs the sights and sounds of acute human misery to perk her up. Whenever she hears of a newly orphaned girl, she orders her kidnapped so that she has someone to scream at and beat with a cane. For his part, Mandrake dabs the orphan with emotional abuse by telling her that beggars can’t be choosers.

“Call me ‘Marge Simpson’ again and I’ll feed you to my chair!” Image by Garth Williams.

If that wasn’t depressing enough, Patience is the latest and only whipping girl – all of her predecessors died young, sometimes in ways that leave a bad taste. For the humans, anyway.

Miss Bianca is fuelled by anger at the girl’s predicament as well as at her own fear of the clockwork staff, and tries to pry useful information out of her that could lead to an escape. The fortified front door is a no-go, but apparently Mandrake once left the back door unlocked when the clockwork maker visited. Patience was too frightened to run, but odds are good that the door will be left unlocked again when the maker does his rounds. His next appointment isn’t until next year, but Miss Bianca decides to wreck his schedule by sabotaging the ladies in waiting herself. In the interim, she sings Patience to sleep and urgently hopes that Bernard will come to help her.

See what I mean about not being able to rescue everyone? For all of Miss Bianca’s research and preparation she has somehow missed a whole factory line of orphans, making Patience’s situation all the more desperate as there is no end in sight other than her own death. While the Disney version also has a young girl held against her will, it softens the child labour blow by making Snoops and Medusa unpleasant rather than threatening, and by showing that the girl is still capable of hope. She is also the only one to broach the subject of other human adults coming to help. Happily, Patience has a reason to hope now too, and both girls decide they will put up and shut up no longer now that their rescuers are here.

What A Diamond

Disney version

Having overheard Medusa’s plan, Bernard advises them to escape that very night. But in a plot hole larger than the mouth of the cave, we suddenly cut to the next morning where Penny is lowered via bucket into the cavern, with her beloved teddy held captive by Medusa. Bernard and Bianca help her pick through pirate bones, rocks and several instances of near-death by drowning to find the Devil’s Eye lodged inside a skull.

Just as the waves start to high-five each other Penny and the mice are hoisted out, and predictably Medusa grabs and claims the diamond all for herself. She ushers the whole troop back to the hideout at gunpoint before stuffing Teddy with the gem and making off with her trusty shotgun. Fortunately, an exhausted Evinrude has dodged fatigue and a colony of bloodthirsty bats to call in reinforcements, consisting of a pair of muskrats, an owl, a tortoise and a rabbit  in various states of intoxication.

Instead of a drunken posse, salvation for Sharp’s Bianca comes in the form of Bernard, who has swapped his pretty dress for a full-on arsenal.

Sharp version

Image by Garth Williams.

After several days with no news, Bernard upgrades his worried pacing to a pursuit armed with two swords, three daggers, two hatchets and half a lawnmower. To avoid looking like a rodent Leatherface he piles all of his weapons into a handcart and poses as a knife grinder, even going so far as to take lessons before he leaves. Shockingly, going the extra mile backfires, because by the time he reaches the Diamond Palace it’s completely empty.

Once again Miss Bianca’s plan has suffered a hitch; although she meticulously disabled all of the clockwork ladies the night before and the clockmaker is on his way, the duchess has thrown a strop and decided she wants to stay in her hunting lodge in the woods until they’re fixed. To give some clue as to where they are headed, Bianca throws her precious neck chain out of the carriage window.

Soon after arriving at the lodge, she leaves Patience in her new bedroom with prison-cell motif and seeks out Tyrant and Torment, hoping to convince them to help or at least let the girl escape. The bloodhounds are impeccably polite, offering her a nicely polished seat, but impeccably implacable when it comes to the duchess’ orders, so Miss Bianca soon realises it’s a lost cause. Even before noticing her “seat” is in fact the gnawed shin-bone of a human child.

Fortunately, an abundance of foresight means that Bernard finds the neck chain and ups his speed.

It’s a close call, but I’d say being eaten by dogs is worse than drowning, so it’s a good thing Sharp’s Bianca is the more determined and resourceful rescuer. Although she’s a victim of bad luck, she has given herself a safety net, which is more than the Disney pair can say. It may be due to budget rather than lazy storytelling, but there is no reason given as to why the animated mice didn’t get Penny out of the swamp that night, as they had reinforcements waiting and they could have executed the plan there and then. Still, they are about to redeem themselves by finally putting their rescue plan into action.

Escape the Rat Race

Disney version

“We’ve got enough fuel to reach New York, right?”

As well as the swamp, the captors, and the hundreds of miles between them and the orphanage, Bernard, Bianca and Penny have two reptilian roadblocks to contend with. Nero and Brutus already welcomed the mice into the showboat with an organ recital and a clapping of jaws, but with the help of Penny’s quick thinking and Bianca’s perfume, they manage to lure and trap them inside a lift cage.

As for Medusa and Snoops, Bernard and Bianca distract them by setting off Snoops’ fireworks indoors while Penny helpfully offers to drive the swamp mobile. Our main villain doesn’t take this too well, blasting at all and sundry with her shotgun before unconventionally waterskiing after her captive and potential fortune.

I stand corrected: this is the most awesome form of transport ever.

Thanks to the explosions, Medusa’s recklessness and Penny’s driving, Snoops is left half naked and half blown up, and Nero and Brutus live up to their names by deciding they’ve had enough of their owner’s nonsense, cornering her on a pole and threatening to snap her up.

Will Bianca and Patience escape as spectacularly?

Sharp version

In her first stroke of luck for several days, Miss Bianca discovers that the Happy Valley isn’t too far from the lodge. That very night she and Patience make a run for it, but said luck lasts about as long as Bernard’s disguise did; the duchess suddenly wakes up demanding a foot message, and when it’s revealed that her slave has escaped, she commands the Chief Ranger and his dogs to bring her back, dead or alive. Even Mandrake thinks this is a step too far, but as usual he just sits back and lets things happen.

After a brief pitstop at a charcoal burner’s (who seems all too eager to wash his hands of a weak and frightened orphan) Bianca and Patience reach the very farm they were looking for, but their knocks on the front door are drowned out by the approaching hounds. Since she scouted out the farm previously, Miss Bianca knows they can hide up a ladder in the dovecote, out of the dogs’ reach, but is less sure what to do about the Chief Ranger who has just appeared at the foot of the steps.

For his part, he’s unsettled by the lack of blood around the dogs’ jowls, because it means he’ll have to finish the job himself or drag the girl back to the duchess for a worse fate. Before he can ponder this too long he is accosted by frightened pigeons – expertly panicked by Miss Bianca, who can speak their language – and suddenly receives a mouse-sized knife to the throat courtesy of a daring Bernard. The combination of squawking birds and shouts of pain attracts the attention of the farmer’s eldest sons on their way back from partying. Immediately sussing out the situation, they rescue Patience before dunking the ranger in the mill pond and giving each dog a bitch-slap.

Sharp’s characters resort to a midnight flight through the woods with man-eating bloodhounds on their tail rather than playing with fireworks and alcohol, and it’s thanks to Bianca’s quick thinking and Bernard’s incredible timing that the day is saved, with the ensuing ruckus attracting the attention of their salvation. In the film, the escape plan  – thought up almost entirely by the captive – begins with a distraction and ends with a chase. Again, it’s more comical than life or death – if Medusa or Snoops got their hands on the girl they would clasp them around the diamond rather than her neck. Still, all’s well that ends well, and with our heroes home and dry in both versions, what’s next for our orphans?

Home Sweet Home

Disney version

A victorious Rescue Aid Society watches the news inside the suitcase (which somehow remains unattended, even with an obvious power source and wires hanging out of it) to discover the Devil’s Eye has been sent to a museum, and more importantly, that Penny has been adopted by a loving couple. The girl brightly explains that it was Bernard and Bianca who helped her escape and gives them a wave, much to the confusion and bemusement of the reporter. There is no word of what happened to Medusa or Snoops, or any mention of kidnappers, so we must assume either the crocs finished them off or that they got away scot-free.

Moments later, Evinrude, who’s obviously a glutton for punishment, appears to deliver a message about another kidnapped child needing help. Bianca immediately volunteers them, and although Bernard initially objects, he is conquered by her winning smile and together they set off for another adventure. Because that’s the right attitude when looking for a minor held against their will.

Sharp’s Bernard and Bianca, on the other hand, receive a more material reward.

Sharp version

Image by Garth Williams.

With Patience tucked snugly in bed, the farmer’s wife thanks Miss Bianca for her help and offers the reward of a matchbox house and free bacon rinds every morning. Bianca diplomatically explains she already has her own digs back in the village, and that she must check on it in case her maids broke anything while spring cleaning. Instead of staying, she leaves Patience one last lullaby, which the farmer’s wife promises to pass down the family for years to come. Later on, the girl marries the eldest of the sons – with a presumed age gap of about 15 years, interesting – and Bianca and Bernard receive yet another medal for their bravery.

What happened to the Chief Ranger, Tyrant and Torment, Mandrake and the Diamond Duchess? Mandrake tries to redeem himself in a later episode called The Turret, but otherwise the duchess is presumably free to continue kidnapping orphaned girls and working them to death, or alternatively feeding them to the dogs.

Never mind that though, because both of these orphans end up with a loving new home, allowing Bernard and Bianca to nod at a job well done before washing their hands of their clients and moving on to the next. While Disney shows the villains receiving some payback for their crime, Sharp’s go almost entirely unpunished, but on the other hand, Bianca has more contact with Patience’s new family and was more involved in getting her there, compared to Penny’s incidental adoption at the end of the story. It seems Disney’s version is more concerned with the here and now – i.e. the rescue – while Sharp’s looks beyond getting the girl out of harm’s way and into the arms of a loving family. Then again, given her traumatic experience, anything less would have driven her stir crazy.

Conclusion

Whoever said a story with talking mice had to be cute?

Sharp’s Miss Bianca is loaded with glimpses of a darker reality behind the twee little rodents going about their business (and occasionally wearing bondage masks). Our orphan is held simply out of sadism and spite, and any peril in the story is most certainly life-threatening, albeit due to a tyrannical aristocrat or man-eating bloodhounds, and with a gruesome history to back it up. Death is never far away either, even on a short journey.

This is also Bianca’s story. In spite of a stream of bad luck, abandonment and various other obstacles she remains calm and collected at all times, thinks on her feet, and more than earns her position as chairwoman of the Prisoners’ Aid Society. Bernard is her faithful friend and loyal protector without being a knight in shining armour to a helpless damsel, and this is the key theme of the story – the importance of friendship and devotion. For all her lavish surroundings, the defenceless Patience is miserable and abused, and the Diamond Duchess is none too happy a character either despite having her every whim catered to. The girl only finds happiness once she has love and affection, and it’s Bernard’s devotion to Bianca that makes him risk his life to find her.

Disney’s The Rescuers also has the theme of friendship, but its main message is to never give up hope. We have Penny, who is afraid of never being adopted or rescued but ends up being both, and two mice facing staggering odds to reach and help her, all because they believe that they can achieve their respective goals. They’re also self-starters, because the girl makes varied escape attempts and thinks up most of the plan, and Bernard and Bianca boost each other’s spirits without any outside intervention. The result? Both parties receive help from others once they have helped themselves, showing you shouldn’t just sit back and wait for things to happen. And that if you fight for what you feel is right, you’ll eventually get it, unless you do something illegal (although vehicle theft apparently doesn’t count).

The film takes a mean-spirited situation and villain in a glamorous décor, pours all that unpleasantness into a swamp, and makes the crooks less threatening, the child less traumatised, and the lead mice more amorous. That’s also lead mice, as Bernard and Bianca are at level pegging in Disney’s version, either because Disney shied away from having a strong female character with no romantic interest, or wanted to reinforce the idea of friendship and togetherness, possibly both. Either way, we ended up with one of animation’s most memorable and balanced animal couples. Speaking of animals, all that’s left now is the elephant in the room: neither set of characters ever consider calling the police. At all. So the lesson here is to always take the law into your own hands.

Oh, sorry Bianca – and to make sure you look classy while doing it.

Sources

1) The Rescuers, 1977. Film. Directed by John Lounsbery, Wolfgang Reitherman, and Art Stevens, U.S.A. Walt Disney Pictures.

2) Sharp, Margery. A Rescuers Three in One. HarperCollins, Glasgow, 1993. ISBN: 978-0006746263

3) Sharp, Margery. Miss Bianca in the Salt Mines. William Collins Sons and Co. Ltd, Great Britain, 1966. ISBN: 978-0006713241.

4) http://myvintagebookcollectioninblogform.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/miss-bianca-illustrated-by-garth.html Accessed 20th February 2014.

5) The Independent. Forgotten Authors No. 16: Margery Sharp. 2008. http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/features/forgotten-authors-no-16-margery-sharp-1038137.html Accessed 12th March 2014.

6) Oxford Index. Margery Sharp.

http://oxfordindex.oup.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803100459736 Accessed 24th February 2014.

7) Dan. Behind the Scenes of The Rescuers. 2013. http://icanbreakaway.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/behind-scenes-of-rescuers.html

8) King, Susan. Disney’s Animated Classic ‘The Rescuers’ Marks 35th Anniversary. Los Angeles Times, 22 June 2012. http://articles.latimes.com/2012/jun/22/entertainment/la-et-mn-disney-animated-film-the-rescuers-is-35-20120621

9) Canby, Vincent. Disney’s ‘Rescuers’, Cheerful Animation. New York Times, 7 July 1977. http://www.nytimes.com/movie/review?res=9F03E2DE1F39E334BC4F53DFB166838C669EDE

10) Butler, Craig. The Rescuers. http://www.allmovie.com/movie/the-rescuers-v40980/review  Accessed 11th February 2014.

11) http://www.frankanollie.com/Film_Features.html. Accessed 11th February 2014.

12) Empire. Disney Controversies: True or False? http://www.empireonline.com/features/disney-controversies-true-or-false/6.asp Accessed 4th March 2014.

13) Britannica.com. Disney Company. http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/165722/Disney-Company Accessed 6th March 2014.

14) http://www.disneystore.co.uk/the-rescuers-dvd/mp/11699/1500065/#longDesc Accessed 11th February 2014.

15) Goodreads.com. Margery Sharp. http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/43970.Margery_Sharp Accessed 12th March 2014.

Some Disney characters will do idiotic things for the power of love, their pride (literal or not), or just to keep the story exciting, and this usually involves keeping secrets. They say hindsight is a wonderful thing, but for these five cases, it wasn’t really necessary. Here are five films where the characters could have saved themselves a lot of work just by telling the truth.

#5. Beauty and the Beast

Stupid secret: The enchanted rose

Belle is a bright girl, so fairly early on she clocks that the castle is enchanted. Instead of shrouding the West Wing in deep and delicious mystery with an all out ban, the Beast could have simply explained:

“You can go anywhere you like, except the West Wing. That’s my private quarters, and I don’t tidy up all that much, even with an army of enchanted servants. If you must poke around inside, please don’t touch the rose. If it gets damaged, we’re all doomed.”

That’s all he needed to say. There are no instructions by the rose or anything else incriminating regarding his Stockholm Syndrome plan, so there was no need to keep this part of the castle a forbidden secret.

Perhaps royalty have a tendency to be vague.

#4. The Lion King

Stupid secret: Simba’s role in Mufasa’s death

This situation could have been diffused in mere seconds.

Simba: “I was responsible for my father’s death.”

Lionesses: [Gasp]“How?!”

Simba: “When I was a cub I scared a million wildebeest with my roar.”

Lionesses: “Bahahahahah!” [pause] “Oh crap, and he’s going to be our king now?”

Seriously, if Simba had thought about this at any point during his exile, he would have pieced together that he didn’t start the stampede after all, and that seeing the hyenas appear minutes afterward was a tad suspicious. This, coupled with Scar using the hyenas to rule the Pridelands should have also rung a few alarm bells. He could have avoided years of shame and self-loathing, not to mention the near starvation of his people, simply by being more specific.

Fortunately, Simba’s in good company when it comes to potentially ruining a whole kingdom.

#3: Sleeping Beauty

Stupid secret: Rose is asleep

The inevitable has happened; the princess has pricked her finger and fallen under the evil spell, so the only logical thing to do is for the fairies to put the entire kingdom to sleep so that they don’t find out. Aside from it being one of the greatest royal conspiracies ever, there are so many things wrong with this solution.  Let me count the ways:

1. The kingdom is now at the mercy of Maleficent and her army of demons.

2. Ditto anyone else who fancies a spot of invasion or looting.

3. The fairies have eradicated any armies or back-up they could have rallied to rescue Phillip.

4. And put to sleep any theoretical “true love” who could have broken the spell.

5. Visiting tradesmen and adventurers would have nothing to do except 2. And the economy would collapse.

Clearly Philip wasn’t the only one who should have used a Sword of Truth.

#2: Aladdin

Stupid secret: Aladdin is a “street rat”

You could argue that Aladdin can’t reveal he’s a street rat instead of a prince because then he wouldn’t be able to marry Jasmine. This isn’t an issue in the end because the sultan’s too eager to marry her off and changes the law, but it’s not the real reason he carries on the charade. When urged by the genie to tell her the truth, Aladdin’s exact words are:

“No way! If Jasmine found out I was just some crummy street rat…she’d laugh at me.”

See? She can barely contain herself.

Unless Aladdin is deceptively poor at reading signals, he must have realised she was into him, even if she’s a princess. Otherwise, why go to the bother of trying to find her again? Lying about his roots puts him in several difficult positions; he’s got to maintain this throughout his relationship with Jasmine, somehow blag it when asked to become a sultan, and it also means he has to break his promise to the genie and keep him a prisoner to keep up appearances.

All because of his ego.

Still, at least there is some reason behind the secrecy, unlike in our next film.

#1: Lady and the Tramp

Stupid secret: The dogs can speak and understand English.

Throughout the film it’s heavily implied that the dogs know what their owners are saying and are capable of replying. Instead, speaking to or near humans is verboten, as we gather from a scene where Jock ushers Lady and Trusty around the side of the house, lest Lady’s owner overhear them. There is zero reason for such secrecy, and every reason for them to reveal this. Here are a few choice examples:

“Have I done something wrong?”
“No, Lady, I’m just preoccupied because I’m pregnant.”

“Please don’t euthanise me, I have so much love to give!”

“Don’t worry, I took care of the rat for you.”

The dogs and humans figure everything out anyway (well, except for the second one), but wouldn’t this have simplified things? It would have also spared Trusty a broken leg.

“I don’t recollect if I’ve ever mentioned your parents are jerks.”

And even if the humans didn’t believe them, the dogs would have more chance of convincing them than with “woof”.

There’s no reason given or implied for keeping their understanding under wraps, other than giving children hope or amusing adults with the notion that dogs are smarter than you think. But that just makes them bastards then doesn’t it – they’d rather die than shout a warning, tell you what’s wrong, or give you words of encouragement when you’re sad.

Maybe they avoid speaking because it would cause panic, confusion and fear among the human populace. For example, people might start campaigning against keeping such intelligent creatures on leads, in kennels, or slicing their knackers off, and others would want to keep things as they are, claim the dogs are happy as they are and deny such a thing had ever happened, leading to a canine rebellion that flares up into an international war where man’s best friend becomes man’s final enemy. At least until a squirrel walked past.

Or Disney could have just taken out that scene with Jock and we could all pretend that neither animal understood the other. But no, thanks to that one inconsequential scene, this is the stupidest Disney secret by far.

Are there any crazy character judgements you’d put on this list?

Due to popular demand (read: one request), I’ve once again played matchmaker between Disney couples and the originals. All four dates went terribly, but that’s what you came to see, wasn’t it?

#4: Rapunzel and Eugene/ Rapunzel and the prince

From: Tangled

Disney version

Despite being movie-star attractive, Rapunzel and Eugene are non-plussed by the other’s good looks and instead form a slow and realistic bond over escaping guards, general optimism and a preference for wide open spaces. Over the course of the film they go from willingly defrauding or knocking the other unconscious to a romance that takes flight as warmly and slowly as one of Rapunzel’s birthday lanterns. A solid foundation for marriage then.

Grimm version

If the Grimms’ Rapunzel and the prince saw the image above, they’d think the two were mortal enemies or something.

Struck by Rapunzel’s beauty, the prince impersonates her fairy guardian so she lets him into her tower, and after a brief bout of conversation, it’s implied the two are at it like rabbits for weeks on end. The game’s only up when the fairy visits one day and Rapunzel innocently asks why her stomach has swollen up like a balloon. The girl is shamefully cast out and disowned, the prince attempts suicide and goes blind at the news, but then years later they bump into each other in the forest and are reunited with their two twins toddling around their feet. Um…ahhh, I suppose?

Romance Verdict: Heights of Passion

The only hint of sexual chemistry in the Disney version is in the poster, where Rapunzel and Eugene are peeping cheekily out from her blonde tresses. Otherwise, it’s a slow burner ending in marriage, at least for a film romance. The Grimms’ couple can barely contain themselves and Rapunzel ends up pregnant and homeless while the prince literally throws himself into despair for a few years. The trauma for this couple comes after they get together, whereas for the Disney version it’s the trauma that ignites the fires of passion. Happily, both couples survive hell and high water and become stronger than ever. Sadly, the opposite is true for our next couple.

#3: Bernard and Bianca

From: The Rescuers/The Rescuers Down Under

Disney version

Elegance and chivalry are the order of the day for this mousey pair. Regardless of their social standing, the international ambassador and society caretaker exchange a few coy and curious glances before accidentally-on-purpose going on a mission together. The glamorous Bianca wastes no time flirting, ribbing and cheekily kissing her co-agent, while a pleasantly surprised Bernard puts on his most gentlemanly manner and does his best to protect and impress her, to the point that he still addresses her as “Miss Bianca” even when they’re supposedly an item and he’s looking to propose. Bianca accepts in the most romantic scenery ever – soaring into the night sky on an eagle’s back – and the two presumably live happily ever after.

Sharp version

Contrary to popular belief, death-defying situations don’t always send hormones a-buzzing. Not least when you have appearances to keep up.

Although Miss Bianca loves Bernard dearly, it’s merely platonic. She’s the chairwoman of the Prisoners’ Aid Society, raised in the lap of luxury, and he’s a pantry-worker turned Society Secretary with an entirely different upbringing, so as far as Bianca’s concerned, he’s off-limits. She advertises this by refusing to let him keep her lost necklace, and by repeatedly telling him to treat her like a sister. Duty is her real spouse, and she never flinches from it. Nevertheless, Bernard follows her around like a puppy and drops everything to help her, secretly hoping she might one day change her mind.

Romance Verdict: Hard Cheese

Disney’s Bianca doesn’t care about the social order at all – all she sees is a brave and practical mouse whom she clicks with. What’s more, she’s the one who instigates the romance, and Bernard didn’t seem to expect it. This is the utter opposite of the book: although Bianca is by no means a snob,  she rejects Bernard on the basis that they’re worlds apart, and he’s the one who doesn’t seem bothered by the class divide. Most Disney films are about characters casting everything aside for the power of love, so it’s no surprise that these two mice cross the boundary. However, social rules can sometimes be a saving grace.

#2: Kala and Kerchak

From: Tarzan

Disney version

I admit “couple” is pushing it a bit here, but Kala and Kerchak do have a child together. And kudos again to Disney – they got the gorilla family right. A troop is made up of a dominant male and his ladies, and so Kala is just one of Kerchak’s mates. Nonetheless, he genuinely cares about her and their ill-fated baby and eventually the adopted Tarzan, and Kala seems to be the only member of the troop who can talk him round when he flies into a rage. They’re not an exclusive couple, but they complement each other, and you get the sense that if Kerchak can confide in anyone, it’s Kala.

Burroughs version

The brutal, animalistic apes in the original are as far from caring as they can be, even towards each other. Kerchak frequently attempts to murder his cohorts when in a strop, and it’s his attack on Kala that makes her drop her own baby to its death. Not that Kerchak would care as it wasn’t even his – Kala is mated to another grumpy ape called Tublat and is frequently hassled and beaten by him until an older Tarzan intervenes. While it’s implied Kerchak wants her in his troop because she is of breeding age, Kala is not known to mate with him at any point. Thank goodness for small mercies!

Romance Verdict: Ape Accessory

Burroughs’ apes aren’t gorillas, so being in Kerchak’s troop doesn’t automatically make Kala his mate. Instead she’s just another whipping girl with expendable children, possibly kept around for morale or eye candy (now isn’t that a lovely image). Conversely, Disney’s Kerchak genuinely cares about his females and their young, even a baby that isn’t his, and Kala is unmoved rather than targeted by his tantrums.This is to keep closer to the gorilla lifestyle and show the apes as an alternative loving family for Tarzan. But in their quest for a happy couple, Disney can go even further than mopping up domestic abuse and infanticide. How much further?

As high as the sycamore grows.

#1: Pocahontas and John Smith

From: Pocahontas

Disney version

These star-crossed lovers are both greatly respected and frowned upon in their respective cultures. Pocahontas, the chief’s daughter, doesn’t want to marry the best warrior and is more interested in diving and singing than taking her place in the Powhatan tribe. For his part, John Smith risks impossible odds to save his crew and show off at the same time, while also becoming involved with the Powhatan, their supposed enemy. The two sparks soon ignite a fire, and a romance that results in Pocahontas dramatically shielding Smith from her father’s war club, an act that unites their disparate peoples and echoes through the ages. Even though their love’s left to smoulder when an injured Smith leaves for England, the pair will always see each other in the colours of the wind.

Historical version

Thanks to a mixture of disinterest, possible exaggeration and hearsay, it’s hard to pin down the “official” story of Pocahontas. But three of the four sources in my post take issue with the following: even though one of them was naked when they first met, the Powhatan girl and John Smith had no romantic relationship whatsoever. Not least because she was 10 years old, 13 tops, when she first clapped eyes on the Englishman.

What’s more, they probably only saw each other when Pocahontas’ father sent food to the colonists as a goodwill gesture, and this would only have happened after the legendary “rescue”. And this is legendary as in “we probably made it up” – two of the four sources vehemently deny the girl ever protected Smith from the chief’s club. If it happened at all, it was play-acting and he was never in any danger. As for uniting their peoples, their partnership was precarious at best, and thanks to the grab-happy English and wary natives, it was deteriorating even before Smith blew himself up and was sent home. By the time he met Pocahontas again in England some years later, she was already married with a child, and was understandably irked at him. I’ll leave you to decide whether it was due to any romantic regrets, because it took him at least a month to pay her a visit, or because his people had caused many a shit-storm among her own. Or kidnapped her and killed her first husband. But the course of true love never ran smoothly, did it?

Romance Verdict: Cross Culture

Man alive. Where to start with this one?

Disney got an army of cupids from Fantasia, borrowed Winnie the Pooh’s honey stockpile and got them to bury the story in syrupy arrows before covering their ears and singing louder than Ariel. The couple sadly parting ways at the end of the film is a fairytale wedding compared to what probably happened in real life: an invading Englishman nodding indulgently at a boisterous, prepubescent girl before he led his own people – indirectly or not – to take her lands by force. If you can find a more severe example of Disney sugar-coating, I don’t believe you.

Are there any Disney romances you think should or shouldn’t have happened? Let me know in the comments by clicking the small “+” sign down to your right.

Christmas can be full of excitement, snowy landscapes and family bickering. So what better time to look at Disney’s Frozen?(1)

Based on The Snow Queen (2), it’s about two sisters forced apart by fear and together again by love, and the story enjoyed a similar bout of see-sawing. There were talks about an adaptation way back in 1943 (3), but it was only after 70 years of extensive fiddling that it finally saw the light of day. Luckily it was worth the wait: Frozen has been an incredible success and even ousted  The Lion King from its throne as the highest-grossing Disney film of all time (4). But was the original book left out in the cold?

The source text is yet another gem from the vault of Hans Christian Andersen, a failed actor, singer and ballet dancer who became one of the most famous and well-travelled Danish writers of his time (5). His many fairytales fanned out from Germany in the 1840s, reaching as far as England and America, and included works like The Little Mermaid and The Emperor’s New Clothes. He penned The Snow Queen, or Sneedronningen, in December 1844 (6), so he was probably feeling the Christmas vibe too, especially since he was a committed Christian who believed the world and nature were intertwined with God (7).

You’d be right in thinking Disney watered down the religious aspects for a secular audience, but that’s not all. For instance, instead of a kooky snowman, reindeer and rugged mountain boy, our supporting characters include a stab-happy robber girl, a bearded lady, talking crows and creepy old women obsessed with amnesiac children.

Clearly not the only Hans who’s a bit of a dark horse.

If that didn’t make you shudder, a freezing spoiler wind is about to strike, so if you need to wrap up warm, I’d hop to another post. But if the cold never bothered you anyway, let’s plough ahead.

A Tale of Two Siblings

Disney version

Little Norwegian princesses Elsa and Anna are inseparable. Not all siblings get on at such a young age, and it’s especially fortunate when one of them has ungodly ice powers.

Elsa spends her days throwing snow and icicles around for Anna’s amusement as well as building snowmen out of nothing, but two young children left alone for long periods of time is bound to end in tears. One night Anna gets overexcited leaping between some snow pillars, and jumps faster than Elsa can conjure them up. Despite her warning, Anna takes another leap and her older sister accidentally strikes her in the head with an ice bolt as she falls to the ground. Good luck finding that one in a parenting book.

“I didn’t think highlights were this dangerous.”

For our original “siblings”, playtime is spared the drama of telekinesis.

Andersen version

Image by Vilhelm Pedersen

This inseparable pair are a little boy called Kay and a little girl called Gerda. They aren’t brother and sister but they play together as if they were, and live opposite each other in attic rooms joined by an outside gutter. In the summer, flower boxes and roses are planted in the gutter, forming a mini garden where they can play. The roses are their favourite, and Gerda teaches Kay part of a hymn about them, which probably won’t be important in any way:

“Where roses deck the flowery vale,

There, infant Jesus, we thee hail!” (8)

In winter, they communicate via peep holes through the windows or by physically traipsing down the stairs, into the street, and up into the other’s house. One day while sitting inside, one of their grandmothers tells them about the “white bees” of snow, and the “queen bee” who appears in the thickest of swarms and makes ice patterns on the windows. Gerda asks if this “Snow Queen” could ever come into the house, but Kay shrugs and says he would just melt her on the stove if she did.

Forgetting for a moment the change from normal, unrelated peasant children to royal sisters, one of whom is the Snow Queen, there are a couple of similar themes here. One half of the pair is fearless, either threatening to burn a snow spirit on the stove or leaping up too high, and the other half is more cautious, either about said snow spirit or when her powers go too far. Neither snow queen has the best introduction, but Elsa is only a little girl with abilities beyond her control and non-threatening, making her more sympathetic than a ghostly apparition who could spell trouble. Regardless of their intentions, both snow queens will test the incredibly strong bond between the children.

Cold Shoulder

Disney version

The king and queen rush their daughters to accident and emergency, otherwise known as a gaggle of trolls. These mossy rocks with comedy ears and noses tell them that Anna’s injury isn’t permanent as it only struck her head, not her heart, but for her safety they need to wipe all of her memories of Elsa’s magic, leaving only the fun. Elsa’s powers will grow stronger as she gets older, and they are particularly dangerous when she is upset, so she will need to learn to control them too.

As with any serious problem, the best solution is to deny it ever existed and hope no one ever finds out. The king, queen and Elsa agree to isolate themselves, shutting the palace gates against the rest of the world, and try to teach Elsa to conceal her power by wearing gloves. If that wasn’t warped enough, poor Anna wakes up with endless memories of the games she used to play with Elsa but is now greeted with a door in the face whenever she goes to talk to her.

Over the years Elsa becomes ever more reclusive. Even after their parents’ death at sea, she refuses to spend any time with Anna in case she gets hurt. Anna remains defiantly optimistic and well adjusted without being eye-rollingly annoying, even though there is no one else in the vast palace to spend time with, she can’t leave, and no reason is ever given for her sister ignoring her for the rest of her life.

Pop quiz: what’s worse, being cruel to be kind, or intentionally being an arse?  Little Gerda’s about to find out.

Andersen version

Image by Vilhelm Pedersen

This time it’s the more adventurous child who throws up a wall. One night, Kay is looking out of the window when a snowflake suddenly materialises into the Snow Queen. She is a tall, beautiful woman (rather than an insect) made entirely out of ice and has eyes that have no peace or kindness in them. Still, she’s nice enough to give him a wave, and he runs away pretending he saw a bird.

During the summer, while playing in the roof garden with Gerda, he feels a grain of something in his eye, and his heart suddenly turns into a lump of ice. Strangely enough, it’s nothing to do with the Snow Queen.

There are no trolls in the original, but instead we have a demonic hobgoblin who creates a cursed mirror. The mirror gives modern day gossip columns a run for their money, magnifying anything bad and belittling anything good, and when it’s dropped and smashed, pieces of it rain all over the world. Just one tiny grain is as powerful as the whole, and Kay cops two of them, one in his eye and one in his heart. He suddenly decides to trash their beloved roses, kick over the flower box, tease a confused and tearful Gerda, and then make a name for himself mimicking anyone else he meets. The only thing he sees as unworthy of ridicule or perfect are snowflakes.

Both Elsa and Kay change their behaviour because of magic, but the former does this out of fear and to protect her sister rather than involuntarily, as well as to obey her parents’ wishes. Neither Anna nor Gerda have any clue why their playmate’s behaviour has changed so radically, and it’s hard to decide who has the worst deal. Anna’s whole family are hiding something from her and she has no explanation for it. All she has is happy memories which no longer make any sense. Kay doesn’t shut Gerda out for most of her childhood, and there is no conspiracy going on, but then again, the boy is actively an ass-hat to her and makes her cry.

Fortunately, neither girl will have to put up with this behaviour for much longer.

The Cold Light of Day

Disney version

Coronation Day is here, and Elsa must take her place as Queen of Arendelle. While she faces the day with abject dread and tries to hide her powers, Anna cavorts around the kingdom because the gates are open, her sister might even speak to her, and she might fall into the arms of a handsome prince. Both of these things happen, but not exactly in the way she was expecting. 

Somehow showing less restraint than another Disney princess locked away all her life, Anna ogles the first handsome man she bumps into, who happens to be Prince Hans. After the usual sing-a-long they know it’s meant to be, and decide the coronation celebration is the best time to seek Elsa’s approval for their marriage.

While Elsa has been kind enough to speak to Anna throughout the day, she is not impressed at her intention to marry a man she just met, and refuses to give her blessing. This, coupled with her comment that the sisters still can’t spend time together like they used to, finally breaks Anna’s supernatural tolerance. Faced with carrying on like this or leaving the castle, she ends up snatching one of Elsa’s gloves off, begging her to explain why she’s shut everyone out. Exposed and upset, Elsa’s reply is literally icy and she accidentally unleashes spikes in front of everyone.

She then makes a run for it, unaware that she’s left the town buried in heavy snow and her subjects frozen in shock or anger. Free and happy at last, she shrugs off her responsibilities and builds herself an ice palace far away, as you do.

Anna, on the other hand, feels terribly guilty for pushing her buttons and takes off after her, leaving the town in Hans’ capable, er, hands.

Elsa’s not the only one stretching her wings. After the way Kay has treated Gerda and everyone else around him lately, you’d think the town would also want to get shot of him. Their wish is about to be granted.

Andersen version

My copy clearly says “snow chickens”, but I suppose geese look more poetic. Image by Debra McFarlane

Kay is now allowed to play on a sled with the bigger boys in town, but when a large, white sled appears, he ends up playing sled-conga and is led out of the kingdom and away into the snowy wilderness. When they finally stop, the other driver is revealed to be the Snow Queen, apparently pulled along by white snow chickens. When she sees Kay shivering, she kisses him to take the cold feeling away, and then again so he forgets all about Gerda and his home. She then casually mentions that if she kisses him again it will kill him, so she’d better not. The boy doesn’t seem to mind because the Snow Queen is the only thing that looks perfect to him and his warped view of the world, and he willingly goes back with her to her palace, sleeping at her feet during the day and staring up at the moon at night.

Back in the town, people eventually believe that Kay is dead, possibly drowned in the river. Gerda believes this too until the spring sunshine and the swallows tell her otherwise, so she sets off to find him herself.

A coronation day and being allowed to play with the big boys are obviously different in importance, but they are both “coming of age” events, and result in Elsa and Kay leaving their lives behind and embracing the ice and snow. For Elsa it’s a release and freedom after years of hiding herself, and for Kay, brain-washing aside, it’s something that he can finally see as flawless after his run-in with a shard of goblin mirror. Whether they’ve done anything wrong or not, both “sisters” take off after the other, but Anna has the foresight to leave someone in charge of her kingdom and to tell people where she’s going. She didn’t wait until spring to get her skates on either, but then again, she’s a bit more impulsive when it comes to boys. Will both girls survive alone out in the wide world?

Northbound

Disney version

Anna gets off to a great start by being unceremoniously thrown from her horse and left stranded in the snow. Fortunately, she stumbles across a trading outpost and a rugged mountain-goer called Kristoff. He’s after some equipment for him and his reindeer, Sven, but due to the sudden seasonal change, prices have sky-rocketed. Demand is also pretty low for Kristoff since he sells ice for a living, meaning his only option is to head back to the north mountain. This is in the non-specific direction Elsa went, so Anna bribes him to take her there, immediately, by buying all the items he needed and throwing them in his face. Amazingly, this works, and they set off together on his sledge.

“I always get that look when I’m covered in snow.”

Kristoff seems more surprised at Anna’s sudden engagement than the fact that her sister has had magical powers all this time, but their discussion is interrupted by a wolf attack and consequent sledge-crash. Kristoff initially blames Anna, who promises to buy him a new one if he continues to accompany her, and thanks to some ventriloquist cajoling from Sven, he agrees to help her on her way. Soon after they encounter Olaf, a talking snowman and dead-ringer for the one Anna and Elsa made when they were younger.  Of course, this means he knows where Elsa is and agrees to lead them to her, the idea being that she can lift the snowy winter from the town, bring the sunshine back, and let Kristoff resume his trade. You may ask why a snowman would want winter to go away, but Olaf is blissfully unaware of the effects of heat and is just as eager to see summer as they are.

It turns out he isn’t the only one oblivious to his surroundings and the seasons.

Andersen version

Gerda’s first port of call is the river, and while looking for Kay she is swept away and rescued by an old woman. Whether the girl likes it or not, the old woman wants to keep Gerda, and magically removes any roses from her garden so she forgets all about her playmate. Luckily, she forgets to remove the one painted on her hat, and after some time Gerda’s memory is jolted. Her exasperated tears bring back the real roses, and she asks them and the other flowers if they know anything. While the roses can confirm that Kay isn’t dead, the other flowers can only impart stories like a Hindu woman burning to death on her husband’s funeral pyre, a woman yearning for her true love, and three beautiful sisters who run away into the forest to die. Helpful.

By the time Gerda has fled the garden, it’s now autumn in the outside world. Fortunately, the snowy wastes further on yield more effective companions: a crow and his mate who may have seen Kay getting married to a princess recently. Said princess decided she fancied a husband one day and extended the invitation to any eligible bachelors around. Any who could speak well and comfortably to her would be her husband, and the one who succeeded, a rugged chap with long hair, may have been Kay. Gerda really did take her sweet time!

After sneaking into their bedroom, Gerda realises it’s a false sighting, but the prince and princess are cool with a girl wandering into their private quarters, actually ask if she wants to stay with them, and when she regretfully refuses, give her some supplies for her journey. They spoil her with a muff (the type for your hands, stop sniggering), boots, and a golden chariot with horse, outrider, footman and coachman. And away she goes, with the crows, prince and princess waving a tearful goodbye. Her destination isn’t exactly set, but going somewhere is better than nowhere I suppose.

The wolves are the only Disney characters who want to capture the sister for themselves, and everyone Anna meets seems to want to help her, either out of genuine friendliness or possible reward. She herself is quite similar to Andersen’s husband-hungry princess, and at a push you can see the rugged Kristoff in the prince, but otherwise the aid is reversed – royalty is helped by the peasantry rather than vice versa, and a talking snowman rather than a crow gives hope to the search party, to link back to Anna and Elsa’s childhood. In Gerda’s case,  it’s the roses that keep her memory of Kay alive and spur her on, and this is all she has to go on for now, as no one has a clue where he went.

Sadly, not everyone they meet will be as endearing (or harmlessly creepy) on their trip.

Cold Snap

Disney version

For an ice palace, Elsa’s digs are remarkably well hidden. The exiled queen has thrown off most of her stuffy old clothes as well as her responsibilities and seems to have new lease of life, at least until her sister finds her. Once again, Elsa tells her to leave for her own safety and that she can never return. Anna persists, but ends up being struck in the heart when Elsa throws yet more ice around in exasperation. To make her point, she conjures up an ice man to evict her, Kristoff, Sven and Olaf, and when Anna back-chats it with a snowball,  it almost pushes them to their death off the mountainside.

“Here’s your damn snowman, Anna!”

Thanks to Kristoff’s quick thinking, their landing is rough rather than bone-shattering, and the impact makes Anna “notice” Kristoff for the first time. Her potential drooling can’t last for long, because her injury is starting to take its toll and work its way towards her heart. Kristoff takes her to his friends and adopted family, the trolls, who in between trying to set them up, staging their marriage and implying the reindeer is more than a friend, advise that Anna is doomed unless an act of true love can heal her heart.

“Cheer up Anna, you’re only dying!”

For once this is simple enough – all they need to do is go back to Prince Hans. Kristoff gathers Anna up in his arms and he and Sven stampede back towards Arendelle as fast as they can.

Our motley Disney crew have each other and a goal in mind. Although Gerda’s about to get both of these things, one of them gets worse before it gets better.

Andersen version

Don’t recognise any of the characters so far? Don’t worry, this guy’s still in it.

Sort of.

Once her friend the crow is out of sight, Gerda is ambushed by robbers who massacre her entire entourage. A bearded, alcoholic old woman drags her out of the chariot and decides to cook her for lunch, until her equally crazy daughter nearly bites off the woman’s ear and demands that Gerda be her playmate. Under the threat of stabbing, Gerda plays with and sleeps next to the robber girl, who has imprisoned a collection of pigeons and a reindeer called Be. In between shaking the pigeons upside down, the girl tickles Be with a knife to scare him and stop him from running away.

When the pigeons reveal that they know of the Snow Queen (she killed their siblings by blowing on them), and that Be knows where to find her in Lapland, the robber girl relents and lets Be take Gerda further north to find her.

Their first stop is the Lapp lady, who gives Gerda a note written on a dried stockfish, a.k.a. this hellish abomination:

It tastes as weird as it looks

to take to the Fin woman, who can better direct them because the Snow Queen is staying even further north at the moment.

Gerda and Anna both experience backhanded affection from their sister or a supposed “friend”, who, paradoxically, almost hurts them to protect them from getting hurt. The Snow Queen also drops a little in our estimation, with Elsa unleashing a monster on her sister, and Andersen’s version killing baby pigeons on top of the whole “child abduction” thing. Although both sisters have a time limit slapped on them, Gerda would only be inconvenienced if she missed the Snow Queen, as opposed to dead in Anna’s case. Happily, the girls are helped by more experienced mountain folk and get to ride a kick-ass reindeer, so it’s not all bad. Not yet, anyway.

Ice in The Veins

Disney version

In the meantime, Anna’s horse has returned riderless and so Hans decides to lead a search party. Miraculously out of earshot from the townspeople, a duke from Weselton directs his two men to go with them and to kill Elsa if they find her. They prove fairly effective assassins, sneaking past the giant snowman on the steps of the palace, and although Elsa tries to defend herself, she ends up unconscious and wakes up in a prison cell back in Arendelle. Hans, who championed her innocence, begs her to bring summer back, but Elsa confesses she can’t, and becomes even more upset when it’s revealed her sister hasn’t returned.

Fortunately, Kristoff and Sven arrive soon after with an ill and icy Anna. Once alone with Hans, Anna begs him to kiss her to break the spell, but he then reveals he doesn’t love her and his plan was to marry her to become king – with twelve older brothers, he has no chance otherwise. He leaves her to freeze to death, tells his advisors that Anna died after they made their wedding vows, and that Elsa killed her and must be executed for treason.

Thirteen is definitely unlucky for some.

For Gerda, it seems that a strange power can actually protect you for once.

Andersen  version

“Gerda and the Reindeer” by Errol Le Cain (1941-1989).

She and Be finally arrive at the Fin woman’s house, whose home is so warm that she practically walks around naked. For some reason Gerda lets a reindeer do all the talking for her, and Be asks the woman if she can give Gerda anything to help on her journey. She takes the caribou to one side and whispers that if Gerda can’t find the Snow Queen herself she’s already doomed, explaining that everyone on her journey has served her one way or the other, all because of her love for her “brother” and her child-like innocence. And to keep her innocence, and therefore safe, the girl must never be told that she has this power.

The Fin woman’s solution, therefore, is for Be to take her as far as Finmark and dump her there. If you’re not sure how far north this is, Fin(n)mark is where you find the North Cape, one of the most northern points of Europe and one of the last shreds of inhabited land before the North Pole.

A great place to go it alone.
Map data © 2014 Google.

Fortunately, Gerda has become as non-plussed as Anna in the face of adversity and turns the ice and snow to her advantage. The further she walks, the bigger the snowflakes get until they take on the sinister shapes of the Snow Queen’s guards. By reciting the Lord’s Prayer, she manages to conjure up her own ice soldiers to cut them up and protect her from the cold, so as far as she’s concerned she’s just out for a chilly and apparently magical walk.

Once Anna is unwittingly abandoned by her friends, she has as much chance surviving as a snowball in hell, and not least because Hans proves to be a million times more of a bastard than Kay was. Conversely, Gerda is deliberately abandoned by her friends – but not maliciously – and discovers her inner power. As for the Snow Queen, one only has a young girl on the warpath, while the more sympathetic one has half a kingdom and a power-hungry prince after her blood, on top of the knowledge that her sister is missing and possibly dead. Stress certainly isn’t good for the heart, but it’s no match for ice.

Come in from the Cold

Disney version

When you’re lying on the floor freezing to death, the last thing you want to see is a snowman who loves hugs. But this is Anna we’re talking about, so she’s thrilled to see Olaf, especially when he lights a fire to warm her up regardless of the risk to himself. For some reason this doesn’t count as an act of true love, and instead a kiss from Kristoff is the prime candidate. There’s just one problem – Elsa has broken free by icing up the palace, making it deadlier as well as harder to open any doors, so the pair end up struggling out of an upstairs window and on to the frozen lake outside. Seeing Anna, Kristoff charges towards her on his trusty horned steed. But the young woman suddenly sees Elsa being stalked by Hans, who’s just pulled a Scar and told one member of the royal family they were responsible for the death of another.

“Great news! I’ve got a cure for your headache!”

Instead of meeting her possible true love, Anna throws herself in the path of Hans’ sword. The good news is this deflects the blow and saves Elsa. The bad news is that Anna becomes an ice statue at the exact same moment. Hmm, actually ice has more chance against steel than soft human flesh, so maybe it’s a mixed blessing.

Now it’s Elsa’s turn to talk to the hand.

All is lost, at least for a few seconds, until the powers-that-be decide “yeah, that counts as true love”, and turn Anna back into a human for saving her sister. Never one to be ungrateful, Anna gives Kristoff a lovely (and not unsuggestive) smile as she hugs Elsa, just to keep that other potential fire going.

Thankfully for Gerda, she needn’t bother with swords or ice statues, because she’s armed with three of the most powerful things in the world – love, words, and nostalgia.

Andersen version

Image by Vladislav Yerko

Kay has been just as oblivious to danger as Gerda, and has spent all this time living in the Snow Queen’s vast palace. It’s a complete waste of space – some rooms go on for miles, but there’s not an animal or drunken royal shindig to be seen anywhere.  While the Snow Queen spends her days jet-setting all over the world, the boy spends his time sitting on the frozen lake floor, arranging ice patterns in a puzzle. If he can arrange them into the word “eternity”, the queen will let him go and give him a brand new set of skates, because priorities. Thanks to the grain of mirror in his eye and heart, he’s obsessed with these ice shapes, and is almost black with cold.

Gerda could saunter her way into the palace if she so wished because there’s absolutely no one to stop her from getting inside. When she finds Kay, he neither acknowledges nor recognises her, so she hugs him, cries, and sings the rose hymn they used to know. The combination warms him up and melts his heart, turning him back into the sweet surrogate brother she once had. Kay and Gerda are so happy that they’ve found each other again that the ice pieces start dancing about too, and coincidentally fall to the ground arranging the word “eternity”. So, even if the Snow Queen came back, she could do bugger all – by the terms of an arbitrary agreement, Kay is now free.

A frozen lake is obviously the place to break an icy spell, and it’s an act of sibling rather than romantic love that does the trick. Anna and Elsa’s situation is more desperate, thanks to a falling sword and freezing heart, but in either case, it’s partially the Snow Queen’s fault that one half of the pair is going the way of Olaf the snowman. Snow and ice also end up helping them in the end, in the form of Olaf rescuing Anna, ice deflecting a sword, or actual pieces of ice becoming sentient and helpful. With Anna and Kay revived, what’s next for our snow sorceresses?

Summer of Love

Disney version

Elsa’s now realised that feelings of love can thaw the ice. Exonerated, she lifts the snow from the town, and uses her powers to bring happiness to her people by creating ice rinks, pretty patterns, and saving Olaf from turning into a puddle in the summer heat. The Duke of Weselton is exiled, as is Hans, and Anna again demonstrates insane restraint by only punching him overboard. 

She saves the lack of restraint for Kristoff.

Elsa agrees to never shut the palace gates ever again, and fully embraces her powers while being true to herself. Anna can now enjoy a normal relationship with her sister, sorcery notwithstanding, and they all live happily ever after.

Will Andersen’s Snow Queen be as accommodating to Gerda and Kay?

Andersen version

Image by PJ Lynch

The answer is “no”, because the Snow Queen never shows her face, allowing an elated Gerda and Kay to walk back completely unhindered by storms or adverse weather. When they reach the border of Finmark, Be and a younger reindeer are waiting for them. The latter has baps full of milk to feed them, and they run with them back down south, stopping for directions at the Fin woman’s home and then a quick snack, change of clothes and a new sledge at the Lapp woman’s. Once they reach their own country’s border with the first green buds, they bump into the robber girl – now riding the horse from Gerda’s chariot, whose footmen her family murdered – and she reports that the male crow is dead. In other equally happy news she is off to explore the world and promises to call in on them if she passes them. Lucky them.

On Kay and Gerda’s return, the book is as subtle as a brick and sees the grandmother reading from the Bible. She simply says to them:

Without ye become as little children ye cannot enter into the Kingdom of Heaven (9)

Ignoring her lack of greeting, recognition or abject joy at their return, Gerda and Kay look at each other and realise they are now both grown up, and that the hymn they once sang each other had a deeper meaning. By staying innocent children in their hearts, they are protected from evil, and from then onwards, summer also seems to last forever.

Conclusion

This time, it’s sibling love that conquers all.

The years of forgiveness, understanding and death-defying actions given by Anna and Gerda for their respective sister or brother show a stronger love than that felt by any of the romantic characters present. While Kristoff and Anna are certainly smouldering, their feelings can’t yet compete with the above, and you can forget Hans’ red herring romance. For Gerda’s part, she isn’t at all jealous when it’s revealed Kay may have married a princess, and they don’t kiss or marry when they return home either.  As for Elsa, she has shut herself away, both mentally and physically, for a large chunk of her life in order to protect her sister, and while this was done out of love, fear was the overriding emotion. In Kay’s case, he was a prisoner too, but this time at the mercy of evil magic. He and Elsa are only truly free when they remember or allow themselves to feel love.

The other story themes are where the book and the film diverge. In Andersen’s The Snow Queen, faith is the ultimate protector. Gerda is the one who teaches Kay the hymn about the roses, and by reciting the Lord’s Prayer she is shielded from the Snow Queen’s powers. It’s also a hymn that revives Kay, and by remaining innocent and childlike, untouched by temptation, Gerda is able to survive several potentially lethal situations on her own. Once the pair are back together again, and remain children in their hearts, the world always seems warm and summery to them. The Snow Queen in this story represents temptation, and she strikes when Kay is vulnerable after being touched by evil, or in this case a cynical adult’s view of the world. Rather unconventionally, the boy is rescued by the girl, and most of the wise and helpful people on Gerda’s journey are female. Then again, so are the creepiest ones.

In Frozen, we’re shown how fear can cripple and affect someone’s behaviour, and the perils of running away from your problems rather than trying to solve them, i.e. Elsa trying to stifle rather than experience and control her powers. Interestingly, it’s also implied that taking risks once in a while isn’t a bad thing. Despite the extreme likelihood of rejection, accidental injury and death, Anna persists in trying to spend time with her sister over the years, and charges off into the wilderness to find her when she makes her escape. Her whirlwind romance with Hans came to no good, but in the end she uncovered a royal conspiracy and found someone better in the interim. Her unfortunate spat with Elsa, while nearly fatal, showed her sister how powerful love could be and how to lift the spell. So Disney’s Snow Queen character represents overcoming fear and how to stop it from controlling you, hence the title “frozen”.

The ultimate lesson of both stories is to give people the benefit of the doubt, to look on the bright side where possible and try to retain a childlike wonder when walking through the world. In other words, if you encounter a problem, dilemma or an idiot, remember there are more important things in life, and that there’s only one thing you should do.

Let it go.

(Sorry)

Sources

(1) Frozen. 2013. Directed by Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee. USA: Walt Disney Pictures.

(2) Andersen, Hans Christian. 1993[1844]. “The Snow Queen. A Tale in Seven Stories.” In Andersen’s Fairy Tales, 188-217. Ware, Hertfordshire: Wordsworth Editions Limited.

(3) Gattanella, Jack. 2013. “Read the Story of Making Disney’s Frozen.” Focus Film. Accessed 8 December, 2014. http://www.focusfilm.co.uk/story-disneys-frozen-5546

(4) Internet Movie Database (IMDB). 2013. “Frozen Trivia”. Accessed 1 December, 2014. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2294629/trivia?ref_=tt_trv_trv

(5) The Hans Christian Andersen Center. 2013. “Hans Christian Andersen – A Short Biography.” HC Andersen Centret. Accessed 1 December, 2014. http://www.andersen.sdu.dk/liv/minibio/index_e.html?oph=1

(6) The Hans Christian Andersen Center. 2014. “Hans Christian Andersen: The Snow Queen.” HC Andersen Centret. Accessed 1 December, 2014. http://www.andersen.sdu.dk/vaerk/register/info_e.html?vid=68

(7) See (5)

(8) See (2), page 191

(9) See (2), page 217